Or?

It's nuts. I don't know why it rose so high all of a sudden.
Strange indeed. 

Not that I mind... But wondering why...
Not that it matters.

It's been hard to let go of all that sh*t, though.
All of that. It really got to me.
HOW FKN DARE THEY DO ME LIKE THAT?!
WOULD I HAVE DONE THEM LIKE THAT?! NO?
THEN? WHY DO ME LIKE THAT?

They give themselves "reasons" to do that sh*t.

Ever heard of Gypsy Rose?

Her and her lover k*lled her mother.
She is out of prison. She had a baby.
The father of her baby is dead.

She was recorded on a jail call... With him before he died...
I guess before he got out...
About the NIGHTMARE she had with him in it.
IN THE DREAM, SHE ST@BBED HIM.
HE SAID: "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
HER: "WELL, YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME."

YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I GOT CHEATED ON?
MANY.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN I "GOT" TO DO ANYTHING TO THEM.
FOR CHEATING ON ME.
OR BECAUSE OF THAT.

ALL IT MEANT: THEY CHEATED ON ME.

THAT'S ALL IT MEANT.

JUST THAT.

THE CAUSE OF DEATH ISN'T RELEASED YET.
I WONDER IF SHE WAS INVOLVED.

NO CONFIRMATION THAT SHE WAS, YET.
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.
IF SHE WAS OR NOT.

NOTHING OUT ABOUT IT THAT I'VE SEEN YET.

HAPPENED RECENTLY....

I think she had more to do with k*lling her mom than she led on.
If she did have something to do with his death... It wouldn't surprise me.

I need to get some things rolling this month... It's driving me nuts.
I can't keep going this way. 
Juggling is fkn hard sometimes.

Desperate times call for creative measures lol. 

Figuring some things out... Or trying to.
Have to! Or? Lol!