Hidden Blessings

I waited a LONG time for people.... CERTAIN PEOPLE...
To just.... See me for me. That's it.
That's ALL I wanted; that's it.

And I got treated like JUST WANTING FKING THAT....
WAS WANTING TOO FKN MUCH.

He wanted to "reconnect." AFTER 12 YEARS.
AFTER TREATING ME LIKE I WAS FKN NOTHING TO HIM!

SO WHY SHOULD I BE ANYONE TO HIM NOW?

I DON'T FKN HAVE TO BE ANYONE TO HIM!

I'M SOMEONE HE "USED TO KNOW."
"COULD HAVE KNOWN."

"COULD HAVE BEEN WITH.
STAYED WITH....
BEEN LOYAL TO...."

BUT..... IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE WANTS SOMETHING.
FROM ME.

I OWE HIM FK ALL.

PUSHED ME AWAY. SO FK HIM.

People don't get to be all like:
I WONDER WHAT THINGS WOULD BE LIKE
IF A*** WAS IN MY LIFE....

WELP. YOU COULD HAVE FOUND OUT!
BUT... DIDN'T!

OH WELL. 

AND HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO ACTED LIKE A D*CK TO ME!

MIRROR SMASHER WAS WORSE, BUT....
THIS FKER WAS SOMETHING ELSE.

STRUNG ME ALONG. 

WHY WOULD I WANT FKN ROUND 2 OR 3?
FK THAT.

HE TRIED TO PLAY ME AND PLAYED HIMSELF.
WHOOPS! SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!

"GOTTA BE MORE CAREFUL!"

I DON'T FEEL LIKE DEALING WITH ANYONE'S BS ANYMORE.

IF HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT....
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE ACTED LIKE THAT.

Guys like him FKN RUINED IT FOR ME.

The reason I was even thinking about him lately....
IS THAT HIS DAD HAD TO CLOSE HIS STORE.
DOWN THE STREET FROM HERE.

I WENT WITH HIM ONCE, THERE.
AFTER SCHOOL BECAUSE HE HAD TO GO THERE 
TO HELP HIS DAD WITH SOMETHING.

Anyway, the store closed. That's what made me think of him. 

But.... Apart from that.... The damage has already been done.

AND HIM ACTING LIKE HE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG....
IS A SLAP IN THE FACE.

ON TOP OF THE INSULTS FROM 12 YEARS AGO.

Actually, I think I blocked him on fb.
He can't find me on there.
I did that on purpose.

He contacted me on LinkedIn.

I told him I wish him well, but I DON'T WANT TO RECONNECT.

If he can't FIGURE OUT WHY I WOULDN'T WANT TO, 
THAT IS NOT ON ME.

HE'S NOT BEING AUTHENTIC ANYWAY.
I ALREADY SMELL THAT SH*T.

BEING FAKE WITH ME WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE.

I'm actually fkn tired of it.

I can MEET NEW PEOPLE AND MOVE ON, 
EVEN FALL IN LOVE ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF I MEET SOMEONE I CAN ACTUALLY FKN TRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHO TREATS ME LIKE THEY FKN GAF!!!!!!!!!!!!
ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ABOUT HOW I FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ABOUT HOW THEY ARE FKN ACTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like if I'm not getting fkn anywhere with someone.....
IF THEY DON'T VALUE ME IN THEIR LIFE.....

THEN I DON'T FKN WANT TO BE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY WOULD I????????????

But now that I'm "doing better..."

NOW YOU WANT TO "SEE" HOW "THINGS WOULD GO?"

WELL, I SAW HOW THINGS WENT! DIDN'T I?

THEY WENT TO SH*T.
WHY WOULD I WANT THAT?

HINT: I NEVER DID!