For A Long Time

For a long time, I tried helping other people. 
I tried to help them, for the right reasons. 
For their sake. 

At my own expense. 
Until I realized... 

They could be helping themselves. 
If they wanted to. 

BY NOT BEING A TW@T.

If they aren't willing to just...
NOT BE A TW@T... 

SHOULD I HELP THEM?
SHOULD I WANT TO HELP THEM?
OR DO ANYTHING FOR THEM?

TO BE TREATED LIKE SH*T?

I don't do the things I do for people
for any kind of glory. 

AND MOST OF THE TIME, 
WHEN I EVEN TRY TO HELP THEM
I WASTE MY F*KN TIME. 

SO WHY SHOULD I BOTHER?

It's just aggravating. 
WHEN THERE IS NO REASON FOR THAT SH*T
AND THE ONLY REASON TO EVEN
TRY TO COME BACK
AFTER I WALK AWAY
IS TO JUST TRY TO TAKE MORE FROM ME. 
TRY TO DRAG ME THROUGH
MORE DIRT. 
FOR WHAT?

TO "SAVE FACE"?
TO TRY TO MAKE IT LOOK
LIKE IT WASN'T WHAT IT WAS?
TO TRY TO PLAY SOME MORE?

HOW IS THAT SH*T "ATTRACTIVE" TO ME?
IS IT? NO!

It shouldn't have even taken THAT much. 

Just because I can "take sh*t"
doesn't mean THAT I FKN HAVE TO.

MAYBE BEING UPSET, FOR A REASON
BECAUSE THAT SH*T WAS BS... 

SHOULD HAVE BEEN A WARNING
TO STOP BEING A TW@T.

BUT I CANNOT FORCE ANYONE
TO FKN APPRECIATE ME, 
UNDERSTAND ME, 
CARE ABOUT ME, 
THINK ABOUT ME, 
OR WANT TO. 

BUT WHAT BUGS ME
IS WASTING MY FKN TIME
DOING ANYTHING. 

FOR OTHER PEOPLE. 
TO HELP THEM. 

IF THE INTENT TO HELP WAS THERE, 
WAS IT A WASTE OF TIME?

Something came up on my feed a while back... 
A woman was lured into a trap with a kid. 

They put the kid out, near the road
and a woman stopped to try to help the kid
who appeared to be alone, but wasn't. 

They nabbed her, robbed her, and k*lled her. 

USED THE KID BECAUSE WHO WOULDN'T
STOP TO HELP A KID?

It sometimes feels like some people
try to use people's feelings against them. 

I don't respect that sh*t. 

What bugs me is when they RESENT ME
FOR DOING WHAT I HAD A RIGHT TO DO.
I WALKED AWAY AND HAD A RIGHT TO. 

WHY RESENT ME FOR IT?

BECAUSE THEY CAN'T GET ANYTHING
FROM ME?

I'M NOT "THE SAME"?
I'M NOT LETTING THEM WALK ON ME?

THEN RESENT ME FOR NOT LETTING THEM?

Trying to hurt someone you can't hurt. 
I USED TO "GET HURT" EASILY. 

NOW, SO MUCH BS...
HOW WOULD IT?

I'D HAVE TO FKN CARE
FOR IT TO HURT ME. 

BUT NOW THEY HAVE NO "ACCESS"
AND THEY AREN'T A PRIORITY, TO ME... 

THEN THEY SEE I'M NOT THERE?

WHY IS THAT, THOUGH?

Then want me to look like a "problem"
WHEN I WASN'T FKN DOING ANYTHING. 

GETTING PROVOKED IS ONE THING, 
AND TRYING TO PROKE ME... 
TO GET A REACTION THEY WANT TO USE... 

I'M AWARE OF THAT SH*T. 

SOME PEOPLE, ALL THEY KNOW IS BS. 
THAT'S ALL THEY ARE ABOUT.

DO I HAVE TO "JOIN" THEM AT THEIR LEVEL?

AND THEY WANT TO GET MAD THAT I WON'T?

Maybe treat me like I have a right to walk away.
Because of what they chose to do/say.

DOING & SAYING SH*T
THEY DON'T FKN LIKE. 

SO WHY WOULD I?
WHY WOULDN'T I WALK AWAY?

They act all fkn surprised that I do, mad that I do
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A RIGHT TO!
SHOULD I NOT?

SHOULD THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO? YES!
SO I SHOULD, TOO!

THEY TREATED ME LIKE I DIDN'T FKN MATTER
FOR THE LONGEST TIME

AND THEN RESENT ME FOR JUST
LIVING MY LIFE, WITHOUT THEM. 

RIGHTFULLY SO. 

Anyway, a friend of mine has been single for years. 
Until the other day. 

I really just want him to be happy. 
Who knows? It could work out. 

All that I want is for her not to hurt him. 
That's it. 

He doesn't deserve any bs. 

So I guess we'll see how that goes for him. 

He's been single longer than me. 

I want to be happy for him. I really do. 

He's been single for a really long time. 
Like I said, I want to be happy for him. 

I'm not jealous. The guy doesn't fkn listen, at all. 
Even being friends, that sh*t drives me crazy.

There are times he doesn't treat me
like he values me as a friend or a person. 

But the least he could do is listen?

Anyway, other than that, he's been a good friend. 
He's a good guy. 

I want him to be happy.