The Test

If I ever even thought about dating, I'd have a test. 

ARE THEY WILLING TO LISTEN?
NOT TO TRY TO XYZ... 
BUT TO UNDERSTAND ME?
WHERE I'M COMING FROM?
DO THEY REALIZE WHAT LITTLE I WANT?

ARE THEY WILLING TO KEEP THINGS SIMPLE?
SIMPLE AND EASY? NO BS?

NONE OF THEIR BS OR ANYONE ELSE'S BS?

DO THEY ACT LIKE THEY UNDERSTAND THE "ASSIGNMENT"?

DO THEY HAVE AWARENESS?
ARE THEY MATURE?

WOULD THEY EVER HIT ME?
WOULD THEY EVER XYZ?

DO I MATTER ENOUGH TO THEM
THAT THEY WOULD NEVER XYZ?

A lot of questions along those lines. 

I was reading a post in a group where someone was saying
that when she tries to talk to her HUSBAND
HE STOPS LISTENING ALL TOGETHER
OR HE'LL SAY "GET TO THE POINT"
WHEN WHAT SHE IS SAYING
AND WHY SHE IS SAYING IT
IS THE POINT.

So I told her to ask him:

1) How he would feel if she did that to him
2) If she did that to him, and he didn't like it, what he would do

SO HE COULD THINK ABOUT IT FROM HIS SIDE. 
WHICH SHOULD TRIGGER HIM
TO THINK ABOUT IT FROM HER SIDE.

IF IT DOESN'T, HE DOESN'T THINK OF HER FEELINGS. 

AND I'VE BEEN TREATED LIKE MY FEELINGS
DON'T FKN MATTER
MOST OF MY LIFE. 

TO THE POINT I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ANYONE
UNLESS MY FEELINGS FKN MATTER, TOO.
NOT JUST THEIRS, ALL THE FKN TIME.

AND I WON'T EVER FKN HOLD MY BREATH FOR THAT!
NEVER AGAIN WILL I EVER!

NOT WORTH IT.
MY FEELINGS MATTER TO ME, IF ANYONE.

AND I NEED TO BE TREATING MYSELF
AS THOUGH MY FEELINGS MATTER. 

SO I GET TO AND SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO
FOCUS ON THINGS THAT MATTER TO ME. 

INCLUDING HOW I FEEL. 
I DGAF HOW ANYONE FEELS ABOUT THAT.
I FKN MATTER, TOO.

What fkn bothered me was being treated, like that
AFTER TRYING TO SHOW THEM
THEY FKN MATTERED TO ME.

THAT I WANTED TO BE THERE.
NEVER HAD TO BE, WANTED TO BE.
CHOSE THAT. 

REALIZED THEY WERE NOT READY. 
WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS
AT THE VERY START OF THE BS... 

BUT HOLDING SOMEONE BACK
FROM CHANGING AND GROWING ETC... 

TRYING TO, EVEN WANTING TO... 
SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING. 
TRYING TO POINT THAT OUT, MORE THAN ONCE, 
SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING. 
TRYING AT ALL SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING. 

AND NOT TRYING ANYMORE HOPEFULLY SAYS SOMETHING.