Someone once told me "be careful who you help."
When he said that, I thought about some things.
Like that lady who had a podcast and she tried helping a guy.
He got dangerously obsessed with her.
She was married and didn't return his advances.
He lost it and ended up shooting her
and her husband.
All because he couldn't have her.
CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING WE WANT.
I've helped a few guys who wanted to have
something more than friendship.
Which 1) I am not interested in - at all
2) I'm not obligated to be involved with them
BEYOND JUST GIVING THEM A HAND.
BECAUSE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO
IF I'M EVEN ABLE TO
WITHOUT ANYONE GETTING
THE WRONG IDEAS ABOUT ME.
Like today...
A guy told me he had his wallet stolen
and all his ID
and can't get a new bank card
without his ID.
I've been there.
I accidentally left my bank card
still in the ATM machine.
I guess that I just grabbed my cash and the balance thing
on the paper that comes out of the machine...
But forgot to take my card with me.
I realized when I went shopping afterward.
Thankfully the guy behind me paid for me.
I was just buying food and it was less than $20.
But he didn't have to do that, for me. Y'know?
He was just helping me out.
I went to the bank right away.
BUT THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME A NEW CARD
BECAUSE MY ID WAS EXPIRED.
AND I WAS SAYING: "How can I pay for my new ID
if I can't get into my bank account."
They asked me a bunch of questions about my account
and they gave me the money out of my account
BUT THEY COULD HAVE JUST GIVEN ME A NEW CARD.
I HAD TO WAIT 3 WEEKS FOR MY ID
TO COME IN THE MAIL
BEFORE I COULD GET A NEW CARD.
3 WEEKS I COULDN'T ACCESS MY BANK ACCOUNT.
So today, I was just going to go to the library
because when I went to go to the book bus
to bring the book back...
The book bus wasn't there.
So I was going to go to the library
closer to where my folks live.
Then the guy was there and he told me what happened.
I only had $20 on me, so I gave it to him.
Then I told him to hold onto it to pay for his ID
but I knew he was hungry
so I brought him back to my building
and he chilled in the lobby
while I made a couple of sandwhiches
and boiled a couple of apples for the guy.
He has no teeth, an old guy (67).
So when I mentioned apples he told me
that he can't eat them
because he has no teeth.
So I chopped up a couple of apples
and boiled them lol.
Gave him an orange and some flat bread.
And a little jar of decaf coffee.
Pretty much all I could give him.
Since I've been struggling myself.
AND I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE LOCKED OUT OF YOUR OWN
BANK ACCOUNT.
SO I GAVE HIM MY NUMBER
SO HE CAN CALL ME
AND WE CAN MAKE PLANS TO MEET
SO I CAN TAKE HIM TO THE PLACE
TO GET HIS PICTURE DONE FOR HIS ID.
THE SOONER WE CAN DO THAT,
THE BETTER FOR HIM.
BUT HE DID GET THE WRONG IDEAS ABOUT ME.
HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD KISS ME.
I HAD TO POLITELY DECLINE.
BUT I SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN ABLE
TO HELP THE GUY
WITHOUT ANY OF THAT. Y'KNOW?
That's all.
Don't see me as a female you want to kiss.
See me as someone just trying to help you out.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I AM.
JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT.
But he was so grateful that I stopped to help
and made him some food
that he cried
and said he never saw a person like me
in all his life.
Last night, I finished a hat I was making.
It was for donations to my knitting group.
So I donated it to him lol.
I didn't do it to blog about it.
I'm writing about it
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T COST YOU
TO HELP SOMEONE OUT.
But sometimes it does.
Like the lady who got shot by her stalker.
What's been bothering me
is that other dude I was helping out.
WHO CHOSE TO PLAY IN MY FACE.
HE CONTACTED ME TO INSULT ME, YET AGAIN.
AND TO TELL ME I'M CRAZY
AND HE'S GOING TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ON ME
AFTER I ALREADY F*CKING TOLD HIM
I WANT F*CK ALL TO DO WITH HIM
OR THE DRAMA HE CREATED
THAT I DON'T WANT A PART OF.
WAS ANY OF HIS BS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR?
OR ANY BS FROM ANYONE AROUND HIM
BECAUSE OF HIM?
Or could he have CHOSEN not to be about that sh*t?
Could he have treated me with respect?
Could he have had consideration for me?
TO CONSIDER WTF HE WAS BEING ABOUT
WITH ME.
AND WHY I WASN'T ABOUT THAT SH*T
WITH HIM.
ALL HIS BS WAS ONLY A DISTRACTION
FROM MY PLAN.
AND HE WANTED ME TO FEEL LIKE THE VICTIM
OR ELSE HE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING
TO ME.
BUT HE ACTUALLY DID IT FOR ME.
BECAUSE I'M ALREADY ON MY PATH,
GOING THROUGH WITH MY PLAN.
What did they THINK I was going to do?
They did sh*t INTENTIONALLY
TO GET A REACTION OUT OF ME
TO "PROVE" A POINT
THAT I'M "CRAZY."
LIKE HE WAS TELLING EVERYONE
AND TELLING HIMSELF LOL.
BECAUSE WHY NOT TREAT "CRAZY" PEOPLE
LIKE SH*T, EH?
BUT IF I WASN'T "CRAZY" I'D BE RESPECTED?
THEY SEEM TO BE SHOCKED
THAT THEIR BS DIDN'T DO TO ME
WHAT THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD DO TO ME.
BECAUSE IT WOULD DO THAT TO THEM.
THEY'D BE CRUSHED IF I DID THAT SH*T TO THEM.
BUT IS IT IN MY NATURE TO DO THAT SH*T?
THEY KNEW ME FROM BEFORE.
IMAGINE GOING ON A SMEAR CAMPAIGN
AGAINST SOMEONE WHO
WANTED YOU TO GET CLEAN?
PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD
WHILE YOU WERE DOING IT?
WHO WAS TELLING YOU THEY ARE PROUD OF YOU
FOR F*CKING GETTING CLEAN ETC.
But HOW is it to WANT me to be jealous
OF SOMEONE ELSE
WHO DIDN'T DESERVE THE TIME OF DAY?
AND PLAY IN MY FACE
LIKE THEY THOUGHT THAT WOULD WORK.
PLAYING IN MY FACE
ONLY GOT THEM A "GTFO."
How are you going to play in someone's FACE
and expect to keep staying with them,
taking advantage of them, etc.
Like that female who contacted me to tell me
that her daughter died.
But how she told me was her sharing her
"fund" thing to take a trip.
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL ME.
OR SHE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME
WHEN IT HAPPENED.
SHE WANTED ME TO TAKE PITY
AND GIVE HER MONEY.
And yeah, maybe that's a sh*tty thing to say
about someone who lost their daughter.
BUT IF YOU KNEW HOW SHE TREATED ME
AND TREATED HER MOTHER,
YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.
She was telling her mother to "stop."
Because she was trying to talk to her.
AND HER MOTHER WAS JUST TRYING TO
F*CKING HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER.
AND SHE FINALLY TOLD HER THAT IT'S HER
NOT EVERYONE SHE TELLS TO "STOP"
WHEN THEY WEREN'T EVEN F*CKING DOING ANYTHING.
AND THEN HER MOTHER JUST WENT HOME.
I TOLD HER THAT I COULD TOO.
SO SHE TOLD ME TO GO.
AND THEN TRIED TO GUILT TRIP ME
FOR F*CKING LEAVING.
AND SHE CALLED HER FRIEND TO COME OVER.
TO GIVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
OR "TO BE A FRIEND TO HER."
SO THEY COULD BOTH TALK ABOUT ME
WHEN I LEFT FFS.
And when I was like halfway down the street
with my hands full, because I brought clothes with me
to her place because I was being a "friend" to her.
I stayed with her for a week.
Helping her with chores or whatever.
BUT PEOPLE SEEM TO ONLY WANT ME AROUND
FOR WHAT I WAS DOING FOR THEM.
SO I DECIDED TO JUST NOT LET THEM
BE ABOUT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME.
But as soon as I did leave
She wanted to try to control me AGAIN
BY TELLING ME TO TAKE FOOD OUT OF HER FRIDGE
AND TAKE IT WITH ME
BECAUSE SHE WASN'T GOING TO EAT IT.
WHY DIDN'T SHE ASK HER FRIEND
SHE CALLED OVER?
WHY DO THAT SH*T IN FRONT OF HER?
I DIDN'T JUST DROP EVERYTHING
TO JUST DO IT
BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME TO.
F*CK THAT.
I GAVE HER WHAT SHE WANTED
AND SHE STILL WANTED MORE FROM ME
WHEN I WAS ALREADY LEAVING.
SHE COULDN'T JUST LET ME WALK AWAY.
WITHOUT DOING THAT SH*T TO ME.
But now I get "she's not a real friend" etc.
She only wanted me around when I was doing things.
Like loaning her money.
I told her no to loaning her money once.
BECAUSE I WAS GETTING SICK OF IT.
THE MORE MONEY I GIVE,
THE LESS I HAVE FOR MYSELF.
NOT THAT I'M STINGY.
OR I WOULD HAVE SAID NO
THE FIRST TIME SHE ASKED ME.
BUT IF YOU KEEP GIVING PEOPLE
EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT,
THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.
THEY DON'T APPRECIATE IT.
THEY SEEM TO FEEL ENTITLED TO IT.
Did I ever ask her ONCE for money? Ever?
No? Why is that?
SHE'S NOT A F*CKING BANK.
SO SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO TREAT ME
LIKE A BANK.
AND SHE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE...
And I should have just told them to gf themselves,
but I did it to be "nice" and a "good friend"
ONLY TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT.
AND WHAT IS WORSE IS SHE ASKED ME
TO TAKE CARE OF HER CATS
WHILE SHE WAS ON HER TRIP.
ONLY TO TELL ME SHE "FOUND SOMEONE ELSE"
AND WANTED HER KEYS BACK.
SO I WENT THERE TO GIVE THEM BACK.
AND HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER SINCE THEN.
AND SHE HASN'T SPOKEN TO ME.
WHICH I AM FINE WITH.
She sent me something on facebook,
BUT SHE IS OBLIVIOUS
TO WHAT SHE EVEN DID.
AND OF COURSE EVERYONE WANTS
TO PROJECT THEIR SH*T ON ME.
SO WHY F*CKING BOTHER?
They all can find out what life's like
without me around to "use."
They can "use" someone else.
And she does. There are a bunch of people
she has doing stuff for her.
Including whoever she asked (after asking me)
to take care of her cats.
And when I dropped off her keys...
Like she wanted me to....
She was like: "I still want to be friends..."
For what? To be treated like that?
To ask for money? Pity?
To try to manipulate and guilt trip?
No thanks.
Nobody can try to taint where my kindness comes from.
But I can only be kind for so long.
I mean, if I'm being "used" f*ck that.
People think I'm stupid because I'm "nice."
Like I don't have any "brains" at all.
So I need to be told what to do ALL THE TIME?
DO YOU DO THAT SH*T TO EVERYONE?
OR JUST ME?
WHO'S FACE ARE THEY GOING TO PLAY IN
WHEN THEY CAN'T PLAY IN MINE?
AND HOW WILL THEY "REACT"?
WILL THEY TAKE IT AS WELL AS I DID?
WELP THEY CAN'T BE SURPRISED
IF THEY DON'T.
Ever notice how people who have FOMO
WANT YOU TO HAVE FOMO TOO?
WHAT AM I EVEN MISSING OUT ON?
BULLSH*T?
Not missing out on that, ever.
But now they can wonder what I'm doing
THAT I'M NOT LETTING THEM
BE INVOLVED IN.
BECAUSE WHY WOULD I?
AFTER THAT SH*T?
But for whatever reason, they're surprised
when I don't want anything more to do with them.
So them trying to make me feel bad
about them not being in MY life,
DOESN'T AFFECT ME.
BECAUSE IF THEY WANTED ME
IN THEIR LIFE, FOR REAL,
THEY HAD THE OPPORTUNITY.
UNTIL THEY WASTED IT.
AM I SUPPOSED TO GET UPSET?
OR CRY THAT THEY CHOSE WHAT THEY CHOSE?
OR CAN I JUST GET ON WITH MY LIFE
JUST FINE WITHOUT THEM.
WITHOUT THAT SH*T.
And when I'm not AROUND
they can see what it's like
NOT TO HAVE ME AROUND.
Not that I'm God's gift to the world.
Not that I'm perfect,
BUT I WOULDN'T TREAT THEM
THE WAY THEY TREATED ME.
It was a bunch of bs to my face
and a bunch of bs behind my back.
The game is to try to isolate me
WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING
THAT I'D RATHER BE ALONE...
BUT WHEN THEY WANT OR NEED MY HELP
THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.
AND THEY JUST EXPECT ME TO.
BUT DO I HAVE TO?
AM I OBLIGATED TO?
FOR ANY OF THAT SH*T?
They wanted to write the narrative
ABOUT WHO TF I EVEN AM.
TO GET ME TO THINK
THEY WERE ON MY SIDE
BUT THEY NEVER WERE.
When they can't control me
LIKE THEY WANTED TO
THEY GET MAD.
BUT ALL IT DOES IS HELP ME OUT.
Because when they do sh*t to me,
it'll come back on them.
How do you reject someone
WHO REJECTED YOU? LOL.
AND THEN TALK ABOUT RESTRAINING ORDER
ON THE ONE WHO SHOWED THE MOST RESTRANT.
BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T HAVE SELF-RESTRANT,
I WOULD HAVE POPPED ALL THE WAY OFF BY NOW.
AND THEY KNOW THAT LOL.
Because if THEY had self-restraint
THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED PLAYING
IN MY FACE.
BUT BECAUSE I'M IN THE POSITION I'M IN
THEY SEEM TO BE THREATED BY ME.
I WASN'T THE ONE THREATENING ANYONE.
BUT DID I GET THREATS? YEAH. LOL.
I wouldn't have gotten any
if I wasn't on anyone's radar lol.
I don't care to be on anyone's radar,
but I guess I'm on a few.
Instead of trying to 'validate' your emotions
BY TRYING TO COME AFTER SOMEONE
VALIDATE THEM, TO YOURSELF.
Already had enough wtf things with people.
WITH PEOPLE TRYING TO COME FOR ME.
BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN BS...
Can't dominate or control me.
And gfy for even trying.
Took me a while to realize they were trying to do that sh*t.
Because I don't think like that and don't do that sh*t.
Apparently, some people don't learn.
Wanting me to be and stay "stuck" in their bs.
To be stuck in my head.
They wanted me to feel like I wasn't worth
TAKING CARE OF HER CATS FFS.
SH*T LIKE THAT.
THAT I WASN'T WORTH XYZ
SO I'D BE OFF MY PATH.
SO I WOULDN'T MOVE FORWARD
ON MY OWN.
People who try to stab you in the back
they don't seem to think twice about it.
EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW
YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT SH*T TO THEM.
But what they don't understand
IS I DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING 'ISOLATED'
I'M NOT IN DESPAIR ABOUT THEIR BS.
If people want to be idiots, they can do it
WITHOUT MY HELP LOL.
I mean, if they have to come at me
because they are insecure about themselves,
WTF DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
Do my inscurities have anything to do with anyone?
Other than to do with me?
No? Why? BECAUSE I AM RESPOSIBLE
FOR HOW I CHOOSE TO FEEL.
ABOUT MYSELF,
ABOUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS.
I mean, I could have been there,
like I was being there...
And all they had to do
was respect that I'm who I am.
AND WHY I AM WHO I AM.
If they want to fall flat on their face
WHO AM I TO STOP THEM?
THAT'S WHAT THEY WANTED.
Someone said: "Are you the stew or are you the CHEF."
Funny how he wanted to go to the cops about me
WITH A F*CKIG WARRANT ON HIMSELF.
All I did was CALL HIM TF OUT
ABOUT WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO DO
LIKE HE THOUGHT I WAS STUPID.
It's not like I hadn't had this sh*t happen before
but this is the extreme of that sh*t.
But if you're not the stew, don't let anyone STIR you.
You're the one cooking.
And if they don't like it
GTFO of the kitchen!!!!
The reason I'm not bothered, anymore
IS BECAUSE I HAVE SH*T TO DO.
AND IT DOESN'T INVOLVE THEM LOL.
It could have. I would have let them,
but they chose what they chose.
YOU CAN'T CHOOSE FOR ANYONE.
IF I COULD, NOBODY WOULD HAVE
EVER TREATED ME LIKE SH*T.
OR TRIED TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SH*T
ABOUT MYSELF
OR THOUGHT I CARED TOO MUCH
ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK OF ME.
I REALLY DON'T.
If anything, if they wanted me to see them
the way I used to see them,
maybe they shouldn't have switched up on me.
FOR NOT GETTING
WHATEVER THEY WERE TRYING TO USE ME FOR.
BECAUSE WHY SHOULD I GIVE IT TO ANYONE
WHO DOESN'T RESPECT ME ENOUGH
TO F*CKING NOT DO THAT SH*T?
ANY OF THAT SH*T.
I even had people trying to talk me out of my plans.
To distract me from things I want to do.
Because if I succeed, I'll be happy
and they didn't want to see me happy!
Because if I was happy,
it'd "make" them feel miserable...
It's like most people don't know how free
they could be.
WITHOUT THEIR BULLSH*T.
IF THEY LEFT THAT IN THE DUST
AND STOPPED BEING ABOUT IT.
AND STOPPED PROJECTING THEIR SH*T
ONTO PEOPLE IT DOESN'T BELONG TO.
And something else someone said:
"If they wasted all their time on being about their bs,
they weren't cultivating anything.
They weren't growing or learning anyting."
What a waste of time!
Why waste it like that?
Can't get it back.
But I definitely won't be trying to prove myself
or my character anymore.
Especially to anyone who wants me to react
TO THEIR BS.
And you can't be "excluded" by anyone
WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE EXCLUDED.
BECAUSE WHY WOULD I WANT TO
BE A PART OF ANY OF THAT?
FOR MORE OF IT?
BECAUSE THAT'S ALL IT WAS.
APPARENTLY.
OR IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
VERY DIFFERENT, CORRECT?
So why would I want that?
Why would they? For that matter...
You wouldn't want that sh*t either.
And me, telling ANYONE
what I want and what I don't
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IMMASCULATION.
IF A GUY'S SECURE,
TELLING THEM WHAT YOU WANT
AND CALLING THEM OUT FOR WHAT YOU DON'T...
DON'T WANT FROM THEM, BUT IN GENERAL...
WON'T MAKE THEM FEEL INSECURE
ABOUT THEMSELVES.
THEY'D JUST "GET" IT.
AND "GET" WHERE IT'S COMING FROM.
And if they don't "get" it,
IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF ME.
AND NOT MY PROBLEM.
AND NOT FOR ME TO "GET" IT FOR THEM.
If not "getting it" or "getting me"
FEELS ANY TYPE OF WAY
WTF DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
Not getting it or not getting me
HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THEM.
IF I WASN'T GETTING IT,
WHY BE MAD A SOMEONE ELSE?
IS IT THEIR JOB TO GET IT FOR ME?
TO UNDERSTAND IT FOR THEM?
BECAUSE IF THEY HAVEN'T UNDERSTOOD BY NOW...
AND KEEP REFUSING TO UNDERSTAND...
BUT PRETTY SURE THEY DO.
BECAUSE IF I DID THAT SH*T...
THEY'D UNDERSTAND.
IT WOULDN'T BE A "MISUNDERSTANDING"
BECAUSE IF I DID THAT SH*T,
IT WOULD BE INTENTIONAL
SO THEY CAN'T TELL ME THERE
WAS ANY MISUNDERSTANDING.
There's no 'misunderstanding' that sh*t.
THAT SH*T WAS A CHOICE.
They could have chosen otherwise.
I could have meant enough
NOT TO BE ABOUT THAT SH*T.
But I didn't.
But am I f*cking crying about it?
The only reason I'm even writing about it
is to give a bit of context
about what I'm writing about.
Otherwise the points I try to make
might not make any sense.
Might not make any sense anyway,
but it makes sense to me
and sometimes I wish it didn't lol.
After the last 6 years...
WHY WOULD I WANT ANYTHING ANYMORE?
HASN'T IT BEEN DISAPPOINTING?
BUT NOBODY OWES ME EXACTLY WHAT I WANT
AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH
I WANTED WHAT I WANTED,
NO POINT IN CRYING ABOUT IT.
OR BEING "MAD"
FOR THEM NOT GIVING ME
WHAT I WANTED...
EVEN WHEN I NEVER F*CKING ASKED
FOR VERY MUCH.
BUT WILL I BEG FOR THE BARE MINIMUM?
FOR THE LEAST THEY COULD DO FOR ME?
I'd beg for cat food before I beg for that lol
But why beg for someone to understand me?
Or what I'm saying?
Or why I'm even saying it?
Is there a point? To beg for that?
To someone who wants you to beg for that?
Because if they didn't want you to...
THEY WOULDN'T EVER TREAT YOU
LIKE YOU SHOULD BE BEGGING FOR THAT.
THEY'D TREAT YOU THE WAY
THEY WANT TO BE TREATED, CORRECT?
Like treating you with respect
BECAUSE THEY WOULD WANT TO BE
TREATED WITH RESPECT.
Since that's not hard to understand
WHY TF IS THAT SO F*CKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND???!!!
I've been treated like I speak an entirely
different language.
WHY TREAT ME LIKE THAT?
ESPECIALLY WHEM I WAS
IN YOUR F*CKING CORNER,
HAD YOUR BACK...
ONLY TO STAB ME IN MINE?
THE ONLY ONES I TURNED MY BACK ON
ARE THE ONES WHO DID IT TO ME FIRST.
AND THE ONES TRYING TO "USE" ME.
AND GOT MAD THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE "USED."
OR TREATED IN ANY WAY
THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TREATED ME.
BECAUSE I NEVER DID THAT SH*T TO THEM.
And I never did because I wouldn't.
And chose not to be a person who would.
Like they could have chosen to be.
Not for me, for themselves.
So they don't BURN bridges
THEY MIGHT WANT TO CROSS
OR HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CROSS
WHEN THEY HAVE NOTHING, NOBODY
and they "remember" that I never did that sh*t.
THAT'S THE ONLY TIME THEY ARE EVER "SORRY."
WEREN'T SORRY WHEN THEY WERE DOING IT.
SO WHY BE SORRY WHEN THEY FINALLY REALIZE
WHY I WASN'T ABOUT THAT SH*T WITH THEM?
Anyway, more politics...
Trudeau is trying to push elections back
so that the politicians in power now
CAN GET THEIR PENSIONS.
Because their pensions wouldn't kick in
until the day after the election
I mean when we are supposed to have our election.
And they are trying to put it on a religious holiday
to push the election back.
And since Canada hasn't come up with the GDP.
TO BE PROTECTED BY AMERICA.
SINCE CANADA HASN'T BEEN INVESTING IN THE MILITARY.
THEY'D RATHER GIVE MONEY TO THE lgbtq+ WHATEVER.
You think they are going to wait until 2035 to start a war?
When Canada will be 'able' to make 2%?
They aren't asking for 12%, 22% 100%.
Just f*cking 2%.
Isn't this country worth 2%?
Our country's reputation is so f*cking bad
that a guy was saying in an interview
that his Canadian passport
wasn't accepted in Egypt.
He had to use his Ireland passport.
Just to attend a wedding ffs.
Wouldn't that be enough to p*ss you off?
And international students pay like 5 times the Canadian rate.
Yeah, they are p*ssed about that and more.
But these student programs are being treated like
a gateway to Permanent Residency.
And a reporter getting arrested just for reporting.
CBC didn't like a professor telling the truth
so they abruptly ended the interview.
What's that to say about our freedom of "speech"?
Our country in general.
Instead of arresting people
FOR BURNING OUR FLAG...
Does Canada even know the meaning
of DEPORTATION?
But would they just come right on back?
Like they got here in the first place?
A farmer in NY state was saying
droves of people cross the border into Quebec all the time.
And nobody there to stop them.
Maybe that has to do with the "immigration" issues?
Maybe they should be doing something about that?
Anyway, I've been thinking of what that guy told me.
The guy I helped out today.
He told me how his son died.
He was getting water for the family
and fell through the ice and drowned.
The guy used to be a carver and his carvings sold
for over 1K.
After his son died, he gave everything up.
Also, he's half blind now.
So getting back into carving...
Still can see out of one eye.
I lost complete vision for around 5 minutes, once.
I had "fainted" but was still kind of "awake"
so when I opened my eyes,
I couldn't see anything.
I actually thought I was dying.
Losing your vision is f*cking scary.
Even for 5 minutes.
But I could still knit if I went blind.
Muscle memory more than anything.
Anyway, I have to fix some things.
I mean with my website.
I have to make some templates.
The pages I have now, I have a plugin
that duplicates the pages and all I have to do
is change up the content on the page.
It keeps it uniform.
I decided to stick with this new design.
I've been redesigning it for like 3 years.
I didn't really have a big plan for it.
Then I spent time, making a header and footer
that I'm redesigning, again.
So I need to just design it, again,
and just be happy with it,
to get on with the rest of the site.
I have 3 sections.
The third section is what's going to take me a while.
And building that blog.
But I'll be trying to promote that one.
This one, I didn't promote.
Because I want to stay anonymous on this one.
Well, both, but promoting the other one,
is to get some "business" going.
This blog doesn't meet whatever requirements for adsense.
I'm in 2 affiliate programs and one of them is $55/sale.
I already got one commission.
And it's on my own domain and hosting.
Anyway, that's mostly what I've been working on.
Pretty much every day, if the computer cooperates...
But mostly, it's for recommending stuff,
and it's more or less a case study.
So if I'm not as active on here, that's why.
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