Inside Of It

Lucid dreams... I can remember some of them, 
but I wasn't really in 'control' of my dreams.
I'm just in them. As myself.

But I've seen some things in dreams and then saw them.
Very soon afterwards.

I was dating a guy and spent the night at his place.
The next day we were going to meet his folks.

In my dream, the floor was that black and white
checkered floor... 

When we went to meet his folks, they had that floor.

Strange stuff like that.

I have dreams about my Grandmother sometimes.
It sucks waking up remembering she's not here anymore.

I have a hard time falling asleep sometimes.
Even when I'm exhausted.
But when I'm exhausted, it's more annoying
that I can't get to sleep.

But when I can remember my dreams, and I write them down,
then I can go back and try to re-remember them lol.

There was a funny one I had...
I was in a dining type of room with people
sitting at tables and there was a table with a few guys.

For some reason, I was walking out of the room
and someone said something about my @ss.

When I came back into the room, I confronted the guy.
About the comment he made about my @ss.
He seemed embarrassed.

Then I was out somewhere, and I saw an ad for something.
The guy looked like the guy from the dream.
That was so funny, to me.

In a lot of my dreams, there's a type of park
that is adjacent to water.

Then there's some older houses, up a hill from there.

It probably isn't a real, actual place,
but sometimes it has penguins lol.

Speaking of animals, it's going around that 40 infected monkeys
escaped from a lab in China.

All I could think about was MonkeyPox lol.

Some people could not handle lockdown.
I guess mostly introverts handled it well, lol.

People who just occupied themselves with hobbies lol.

We were "allowed" to go outside for walks, at least.

Security guards at the mall were checking to see
if everyone got the vax.

If you didn't get it, you weren't "welcome" at the mall.

Some people just got the jab to be able to "do" stuff.
A lot of people were forced to get it to keep their jobs.

What a time to be unemployed. Not have to deal with that.

I don't know if there are still restrictions for people
who didn't get the jab.

Some people even left Canada because of the mandates.
I heard people want to come here
because of the results of the election.

The first time shocked me, actually.
I never thought he'd go from The Apprentice to the President.
Even once, let alone twice.

The first time I was shocked, but this time not surprised.
Lots of people aren't happy about it.

I guess Canada's election's coming soon.
We should already be having a carbon tax election.

Pierre was saying how lots of companies
are likely going to move to the states because of the taxes.
The USA doesn't have carbon taxes.
They'll just move shop down there.

That's what the chocolate factory did, years and years before
the tax even started, but they moved out of Canada.

I heard they moved to Mexico for cheaper labor.
Probably lower taxes, too.

Now the chocolate factory, where it used to be...
Is a marijuana grow house type of place.

I'm pretty sure it was that before it became
100% legal to buy marijuana from these pot shops.

Back in like 2015-ish or so...
When I was in BC, they already had those stores.
But the one my ex and I went to, had a smoking section.
A few booths set up with blow torches lol.
And ashtrays of course.

A really long time ago, people used to smoke on the bus.
In malls, in classes at college, restaurants, at stores, etc.
Freaking everywhere.

I remember when it becam illegal to smoke at bars.

Also, when I was around 14, a few guys got hold of a cigar.
And there was a coffee shop they'd chill at the back of...
They said not to 'inhale' it.

I guess you "puff" on it. You don't really "smoke" it.
I dunno, I inhaled it, I coughed, a lot. Fun times.

There was another place people'd hang out.
It was called Central Groove.

A guy I used to squeegy with, he took me there.
He was on acid and we ended up getting up on the roof somehow.

I can't remember where the place would have been.
Maybe that book store I went to, once.

I remember what side of the street it was on, 
but as for the address, I didn't know it.
Only the street it was on.

I guess I thought that the place was so popular
that it'd be around a lot longer than it was.

Speaking of longer than it was...
There used to be a McDonalds on Rideau street.
It became a crime hot spot.

I remember going there with my mom when I was a kid.
I'd always just get water instead of "pop."

Back when I was a kid, there were two levels.
There was the first level where the ordering was
and some seats were, but the upper level 
was basically a big dining area.

I guess they got tired of the rowdiness or whatever,
but they got rid of that and reduced the seating. By a lot.

The thing is that downtown is pretty much the "tourist" district
because that's where the parliament buildings are.
And those buildings are a huge attraction.

But a lot of homelessness and drug bs downtown.
When I was down there, I didn't get much into drugs.

Someone gave me a handful of shrooms for squeegying.
I traded them for a place to stay for the night.

I think we pretty much 'broke into' an empty apartment.
At least I got to have a bath lol.

Anyway, back then I wasn't into the worst of it.
I was probably too drunk to care about any of it to be honest.

A lady in the knitting group who hosted last time,
we were talking about nursing homes and such.
And she said something like "they exist on $10/day."

Back when I was squeegying... I called it at close to $30/day.
I had enough to get something to eat and could get drunk.
Didn't have much of a care in the world.
No rent to pay, no bills, just eat and drink lol.

But now that I have rent and bills... 
For food, I'm lucky if it's like $10/day.

I go to get something to eat and it's $20...
Well then, I'll eat like half of it and save the other half
for the next day...

And not drinking anymore means I'm not wasting my money on that.

Although, I still have some "treat" things.
Like I'll grab a "ting" or a "tiger malt" or something like that.

This month, isn't as bad as prior months, so far.

I've been redesigning my site, again.
I'm not going to link it here. It's just a case study thing.

Anyway, working on that.
If I end up making sales with it, cool.
Of course that's the hope for it.

And I have a bunch of ideas floating around.
That are website related.

ChatGPT can code. Not the best, but still can.
Saves me time looking around online for scripts, etc.

And somewhere, there are probably free scripts.

There's free software.

Software's been interesting to me.
Because there are afiliate programs attached to some.

Like the autoresponders for an example.
It's SaaS. Software as a service.

People keep paying to use the software
because the software provides a service.

A site that sells code is called CodeCanyon.
I heard there's code on there to make a type of clone
for the site called Only Fans.

I was talking to a guy over the internet.
I mentioned to him that I have been working on my site.

Automatically, his thought was Only Fans
so he actually asked me if that's what I was talking about.
Helllll naw. Affiliate marketing.

The page I have been working on is almost done.

I'm getting my pages to the first stage.
To get them ready to link them together.

I also have to redo a bunch of stuff to get my "blog" ready.
Not this blog, the blog for affiliate marketing.

Where I can write about that type of stuff.

I guess I keep redesigning it
because I don't really know how to structure it.

So I redesigned the header for the site.
I'll redesign the footer, too.

Then create all the pages that link to the main menu.
Then link those pages to the main menu.
Then link those pages together, too.

Then write about the affiliate offers.
Then redesign the covers for the PDFs.

Then link to the PDFs on the pages.
Then make sure the PDFs have the correct links
before people download them.

Then I'll have to think of a way to promote the free PDFs.

It's a case study because this is my first "major" site.

There are some mini sites I want to put up.
I have a bunch of domains to play with.

And there are affiliate offers for those niches.
One is cars, the others are marijuana and camping.

Anyway, with the camping one, I was getting the site set up.
And I couldn't focus on it like I wanted to.
Because some people were leaning on me too much
TO ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM.
TO JUST DO EVERYTHING THEY WANTED.
AND IT WAS LIKE 'GFY' WHENEVER I WANTED ANYTHING.

THIS IS WHY I'M TAKING THE TIME FOR MYSELF
TO FOCUS MORE ON MY SITE.

A site for affiliate marketing... It's something you set up.
I know a lot of people are looking for the biz-in-a-box stuff.
Where they don't have to do much work to set something up.

They just either want to get rich copying and pasting, 
or they want something just ready to load and push some buttons
for it to automagically start pumping out money.

For internet marketing to work, you have to get traffic.
But not just any kind of traffic.

You want them to at least be interested.

It's like you can't sell a car to a kid.
Although the kid might like it, 
they can't drive it anywhere.

Maybe that's a bit of an analogy.

But it's pretty much that you want to attract
as many potential buyers as you can.

The MMO niche, that can be a hard one to get into.
A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO MAKE MONEY ONLINE.

IT'S LIKE A DREAM TO SOME PEOPLE.
THEY CAN QUIT THEIR JOB.
WORKING AT A PLACE THEY'D RATHER NOT BE AT.

It's fair to say that not everyone likes their job.
I was a janitor working at a college.
At a few places while I was a cleaner.

It turns out that working around all those chemicals
every day, isn't great for your health.

But neither is being freaking broke and not eating much.

A neighbor lady saw me and noticed I've lost weight, again.
I'm not trying to lose weight, 
but I guess I can't really afford to eat how I want to.

The ladies who host the knitting meetings go all out.
It's like an extremely fancy tea party,
with knitting and crochet involved.

There are around 17 people in our group.
I have room for 9 people.

I have the 'room' but not enough furniature.

I live by myself. Wtf do I need furniature for?
I have 6 chairs, a bed, and a futon.

I'd have to organize for a long time and get rid of stuff.

There's a vintage shop I went to.
I have some things to bring over there to see if they'll buy it.

I also have a lot of books, but the bookstore also has a lot.
So the last time I tried selling books, they wouldn't buy.
At least the shops I went to.

There's a set of 4 or 5 books, a series.
I haven't read them, but I'd sell them.

Supposedly there's a case for them or a box
and whoeer was giving them away didn't include that.

I tried selling them before but someone wanted the box
that they came in. Who knows why...

Anyway, it'd just be nice to have a little side gig.

There's a consignment store that I thought about
trying to sell some stuff at...

That's been on my brain, but not as much as this site.
Just a few more commissions and I'd be happy with that.

Then I have to see how to get traffic and rank.
There's no way I can get traffic for the main keyword
because the competition in the MMO niche is insane.

But I'm thinking about making a few small one page sites.

Like the pot one doesn't have to be a big thing.
I could even just get high and make random videos
to put on it or whatever.

Just promoting the offers while high. Whatever.

I remember one guy, I forget how I even found him.
He had a whole "show" and it was just him getting high
with one of his friends and they talked about pot.

And the legalities of it when it was just medical only.

He had some facts, but it's the kind of thing
that you had to be high to watch.

Like the movie Idle Hands or whatever it was called.
Where the guy's hand is possessed or something.
So he cuts it off and it tries to kill him.

That was wayyyyy better high.
Not just a little high, though.
Like actually high.

I kind of want to ask my parents if they even get high anymore.
They smoke copious amounts of weed.
They smoke every day.

When I have some, I smoke it,
but when I'm out, I'm just out.

Makes me think of that guy who works at the pot shop
around the corner from here.

He was telling me how a guy tried to buy some weed there.
In Canada, it's illegal to sell marijuana after 11pm.
Their whole system completely shuts down.
So they can't even physically do the transaction.

Dude gets P*SSED and they thought he just left.
He did leave, but he was waiting in his truck
for the guy to leave and tried to run him off the road.
On his bike with his truck.
OVER SOME F*CKING MARIJUANA.

Okay, I've been upset over marijuana before.
One of my brothers was staying with me.
It was Christmas and he didn't feel like doing
the step-family Christmas thing.

I HAD ONE JOINT LEFT.
ALREADY ROLLED.

ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS LEAVE IT ALONE
AND WAIT FOR ME TO GET HOME
SO WE COULD SMOKE IT TOGETHER.

BUT WHAT DOES HE DO?
HE SELFISHLY SMOKED IT HIMSELF.
DIDN'T WAIT FOR ME.

LEAST HE COULD HAVE DONE?
NOT TAKE IT FOR HIMSELF?

I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO COMING HOME TO THAT.
AFTER DOING THE STEP-FAMILY THING.

Stuff like that bugs me.
Because it's like:
THE LEAST YOU COULD HAVE DONE
WAS NOT TO DO THAT.

LIKE ALL THE THINGS...
THE LEAST THEY COULD HAVE DONE
WAS NOT TO DO ANY OF THAT.

That was the only time I got upset about pot.
That I can remember lol.

But to wait outside a pot shop
to wait for a guy to run him off the road?

Because he was physically not able 
to do the transaction for you?

WAS IT HIS FAULT
THAT YOU CAN'T GET YOUR POT
PAST 11PM?

NO? THEN GO RUN TRUDEAU OFF THE ROAD FFS.
WHILE SMOKING ONE, FOR ALL I CARE.

Actually, they do take smoking and driving seriously.
I know a guy who had his license suspended for like 4 years.

He even has a charge on his record from it.
It almost interferred with his job.

But luckily he can work from home.
So it worked out in the end...

But the people who couldn't get to work
DURING THE BUS STRIKE...

Different story for them, I guess.

Wondering when they'll have the rail lines done.
It'd be nice to take the train from here to get downtown.
Not as many stops or red lights.

Just a quick little stream line.

I'm waiting for that. To see what it's like.

We used to have street cars, but they'd only go so far, 
and then they got stuck in the snow.

That's the thing about this climate.
If the tracks are somehow heated so that ice and snow melt
and it keeps the rails clear, that'd be something.

I get so tired, but my brain is wired to be awake.

Anyway, been too tired to "try" a bunch of stuff.
Mostly to do with 'dating' or even being close to anyone.
Not after all that bs...

All I need to do is set up my site, get it going, 
set up the other sites, get them going...

It's as though if I do, 
the whole internet will break lol.

"I finially did the thing!"
Internet crashes completely around the world*
"What thing?"

But, software is a route to go.
I'd love to be a developer and be able
to just go through with all my ideas.

There's a group I went to a couple of times.
It's a "meetup" group that has to do with coding.
Well, programming... Not coding.

It's a nice group, but everything was oig over my head.