Welp, I had to go back to my folks' today
because I forgot my wallet there
and my bus card is in my wallet
and I kinda need that.
My stomach's been bugging me today.
From when I woke up.
Went to bed kinda late...
Like usual lately...
I left my folks' kinda late.
I usually leave by 10pm.
At night, I take the longer way back.
Because I don't go over the hill at night.
Jogging was one thing, but I didn't go super late.
Been losing weight like crazy.
My mom's like 90lbs.
The way I've been going, I'd be catching up.
Just over 100lbs.
I need to gain 20lbs.
Even if I gained more than 20lbs,
that's 'insulation' for the winter.
Which is around the corner,
but I heard that this winter's supposed to be mild.
Which probably means more rain than snow,
BUT rain freezes and then if it rains AGAIN,
That's another layer of ice...
That's what happened with the ice storm we had in '98.
It kept raining and freezing.
It got thick enough that it was taking out
our power supply.
Montreal was hit particularly bad.
They have around 4 power "lines"
going to 'power' Montreal.
During the ice storm, all were damaged but one.
Farmers were shooting their cows.
Because they needed electricity to even
keep their barns warm enough for the cows...
Maybe for other reasons other than that,
but some people were taking any kind of wood or whatever
to heat their homes.
Then the generators were in such high demand
that they price gouged them.
Yes, it was really that bad.
Our house was the only one in the neighborhood
that still had electricity.
And the mall downtown had electricity.
Because I remember going to see the movie
called "The Postman."
I wanted to see it so I went by myself.
My folks told me to come straight home
after the movie.
THE MOVIE WAS CLOSE TO 4 HOURS LONG.
DEFINITELY OVER 3 HOURS LONG.
So my folks didn't believe that I actually came back
right after the movie.
AND I WAS GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS.
JUST BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.
So I walked all the way over there,
which usually isn't so bad,
but for whatever reason, it seemed longer
and I am tired.
I did manage to get to the library today.
I renewed the book that was due,
and I was told that the book auto-renews for 5 times.
So you can have up to 15 weeks to read a book.
Before you have to take it back.
Unless someone put it on hold and wants it.
They have a new program with these Chrome books.
I don't know what one looks like,
but I imagine it to be something like a laptop.
And they let you borrow it for 3 months.
After the time is up, it's deactivated remotely.
I've been thinking about borrowing one.
Just to see if it's faster to use to get some work done.
Despite how I'm feeling today, I need to get back to work on it.
I was supposed to meet up with that guy today,
I left a message saying that I couldn't and why.
If they can't accept that, then they can find someone else.
Literally helping someone out of my own pocket.
At my own expense. Least I can have
is some patience and understanding.
I woke up to another video, today.
Been following some political 'reporters' on YouTube.
One guy was saying there's a new tax now.
So the government was trying to 'soften' the blow
of the carbon tax by giving carbon tax rebates.
I heard, today, that they want to tax the rebates!!!
We literally cannot get a break, folks!
"we're giving families rebates to put more money in Canadians' pockets."
Only to what? Tax that, too?
And my mother was saying that when Trump deports all those people,
they'll be coming up here.
It's not that Canada is "full," the cities are over capacity.
20K people came to Ottawa in one year.
Since last year.
For a city the size of Ottawa, that's a lot.
The hospital near here, the closest one...
Is categorized as a "community hospital."
One of the nurses was telling me that they only had one doc
all night.
And some people do not know how tf to wait.
FOR ANYTHING.
THAT'S HOW ENTITLED THEY ARE.
TO EXPECT ATTENTION
AND MEDICAL CARE IMMEDIATELY.
THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT MOST,
GET IT FIRST.
Like if someone got in a crash
and was hanging onto their life by a thread.
What's cool, is that my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins
are in one of the pictures at the hospital
in one of the smaller waiting rooms
where people wait for the results of tests.
The picture was of them, in a crowd
at a hockey game, the playoffs.
Go Sens, Go!
It'd be nice to see them win 'the cup.'
I think it's a tradition to fill it with beer,
but don't quote me on that.
They were so close to winning against Pitsburg.
They were playing the Penguins that year,
but I remember it being a very close game.
My mom has a bottle of Champaign she's saving
for when the Sens win lol.
I can't remember the last time they won,
but they have, before.
The goalie they had, he was good,
but he got kicked off the team.
I think for coke.
It was unfortunate. Because he was really good.
One of the Sens had a box and he gave tickets away
to the children's hospital.
I was in there as a teen, so I got a ticket to go
and had to bring a parent so I asked my stepfather to go.
I asked my mom, today, if she'll go with me to a bazaar.
I'd just like to check it out.
I have a bit of money saved,
but I'm supposed to be putting it towards my bill.
I told the guy that I'll pay for him to get his ID card thing.
Which I will because I said I would.
Just disappointed that he spent the $20 on booze
instead of saving it to get his ID
like I asked him to do.
I don't ask for very much.
Even if I need to borrow money,
I don't ask unless it's important,
and even then, I don't want to.
NOBODY'S A BANK.
When I went to Niagara Falls...
It was for a funeral
and I couldn't stay with any relatives.
I barely had enough money to get there.
I sold one of my Grandmother's rings
to go to her sister's funeral.
I really needed some money for the hostel
for when I got there.
I asked one of my good friends for like $50.
I was only going to be there for a couple of days.
He ended up sending me $100 and told me to keep it.
Didn't want me to pay him back.
I don't like to ask him for anything.
He's helped me out more than once, for food.
He was like: "I'll take you grocery shopping."
And he did.
He took me to a concert, once.
It was a good show! Paul McCartney.
In Montreal, before Covid.
The only thing I didn't like about that night,
was when my friend was driving us back to Ottawa,
he missed the turn off for the highway a couple of times.
WHICH IS NO F*CKING BIG DEAL.
JUST TURN AROUND, RIGHT?
BUT THE GUY HE BROUGHT WITH US,
HE STARTED FLIPPING OUT AT MY FRIEND.
OVER MISSING THE TURN...
So they started fighting in the car,
as my friend was driving...
I was getting anxiety like bananas.
Because it only takes a split second
to get into an accident.
I was hoping my buddy told him to gtfo of the car.
Just leave him there for being a d*ck.
RIGHT AFTER A CONCERT OF A LIFETIME.
THAT MY FRIEND DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE
EITHER ONE OF US TO GO WITH HIM.
I SHOUTED AT THEM TO STOP FIGHTING.
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INTO A WRECK
BECAUSE OF THEM FIGHTING.
Anyway, they both stopped fighting
and they apologized to me.
Then the guy wanted to b*tch to me
about my friend after the fight
to try to get me on his side ffs.
I told him I didn't want to f*cking hear it.
BECAUSE I DIDN'T.
SO THE GUY JUST PRETENDED TO SLEEP
THE REST OF THE WAY BACK.
AND I TOLD MY FRIEND
THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A CAR
WITH THAT GUY, EVER AGAIN.
THAT was the only part of that night
that I didn't like.
Other than that, it was great.
My friend has been a good friend to me.
One of the best friends I ever had.
One of the only people I know
WHO I KNOW THAT I CAN TRUST.
WITHOUT A DOUBT, EVER.
THAT IS A REAL, TRUE, FRIEND.
Anyway, when I went to the library today...
I found out about the auto-renew thing,
and I picked up another book.
Another fiction book.
I haven't been working on my writing
for a while. Probably because I've been so focused
on the other blog, setting up the site.
It's not just going to be a blog,
there's going to be other stuff on there, too.
I'm coding a video player type of thing,
but I'm loading it with specific videos.
To stay on topic, but also to share specific stuff
related to what the site's about.
And it's not OnlyFans.
Some guy asked me, once if I was on there.
I said no and he seemed relieved lol.
He said that if I was, he wouldn't even talk to me.
He was the one who was asking me if I get lonely.
Nope. Not anymore.
I need to charge up more than I need to be
around anyone.
Especially people who want something other than
what I want and I told them.
THAT THEY NEED TO RESPECT
WHAT IT IS THAT I WANT FOR MYSELF.
AND THAT THEY ARE LITERALLY
ONLY THINKING OF THEMSELVES
AND WHAT THEY WANT.
EITHER WITH ME OR FROM ME.
But it's usually from me.
Because if I'm too generous with my money/time/efforts, etc
THEY'LL ONLY WANT MORE AND MORE AND MORE.
UNTIL I LITERALLY AM LEFT WITH LITTLE TO NOTHING.
AND MAYBE IT'S MY TIME
TO JUST BE ALONE AND HELP MYSELF OUT.
I mean, I don't mind helping people
BUT WHEN THEY COME TO EXPECT IT,
THAT'S WHEN I'D RATHER NOT.
Like the guy I was helping get off drugs.
HE GOT TOO COMFORTABLE
DISRESPECTING ME.
AND HE EXPECTED MORE CHANCES.
BUT THE MORE CHANCES I GAVE HIM,
THE LESS IT SEEMED TO MATTER
THAT HE WAS GOING TO RUN OUT.
Because if I REALLY CARED,
I'D PUT UP WITH HIS BS, RIGHT?
Raise your hand if you need bs in your life.
*No hands raised* Yeah, that's what I thought.
But literally EXPECTED TO JUST KEEP STAYING HERE.
BECAUSE IT WAS CONVENIENT FOR HIM.
ANDD I GUESS I WAS EXPECTED TO KEEP CARING
ABOUT AND FOR HIM
DESPITE HIS ARROGANCE AND IGNORANCE.
If you want to be THAT full of yourself,
BE FULL OF YOURSELF ALL YOU WANT,
FAR AWAY FROM ME.
YET HE WANTS TO BLAME ME
FOR THE WAY HE CHOSE TO ACT.
Should I just go around blaming everyone?
I watched a video, a crime video,
and the 911 operator was asking her if
there was a reason the guy was trying to break into her apartment.
LIKE WT ACTUAL F?
SHE WAS SAYING THINGS LIKE:
WELL HE WOULDN'T HAVE GONE OVER THERE
WITHOUT A REASON...
LADY, THE WOMAN IS ASKING YOU
TO SEND COPS TO HER HOME
BECAUSE A DUDE IS LITERALLY TRYING TO GET IN.
AND YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO BE LIKE:
"WELL, WHAT'S THE REASON?"
MAYBE THE REASON IS THE GUY IS A STALKER.
TRYING TO GET INTO HER HOME...
"DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT?"
"DID YOU BREAK UP?"
WTF DOES ANY OF THAT MATTER?
JUST SEND THE COPS OVER TO HELP HER OUT!
The guy was actually a cop that was stalking her
and had entered her home before
when she wasn't home.
She had put cameras inside her home.
And got a notification on her phone
that the cameras and motion sensors
had gone off...
And she saw him walking around her house,
seemingly looking for her.
Terrifying. And even with proof
that he kept breaking into her home
while she was at work
it seemed to take him trying to get in
while she was home.
For whatever reason,
I'm getting 99% French ads on Youtube.
Not sure why, but it's been over a week now.
Anyway, on my way back from the library,
I passed the Pho place.
Pho is Vietnamese.
I went to another place with a neighbor before.
The neighbor took me, my ex, and another guy
to the Pho place on the corner of our street.
The Pho place I passed today is called:
"iCook Pho You."
Perfect name, right?
How could it get better than that?
Also passed that church with the graveyard.
It's such an old graveyard
that the people who parts of the city
are named after are buried there.
Like the guy Tunney's Pasture is named after.
It was probably an actual pasture at one point.
Now it's a bus/train station.
All the people that could be facing deportation in the USA,
where do you think they'll head to?
Mass immigration crisis.
And Canada hasn't met the 2%!
Do you know what the condition of our military is?
Watch the documentary by Aaron Gunn.
You'll see...
Only 1.3% and we're supposed to be 2%
A MINIMUM OF 2%.
FOR NATIONAL DEFENCE.
AND THE CANADIAN NAVY
IS EVEN WORSE OFF.
IN A WORSE STATE.
IT'S BEEN DESCRIBED AS "EMBARRASSING."
WHY TF IS THAT THE CASE
FOR A G7 COUNTRY?
But migrants being deported are going to be
piling into our unguarded border regions.
THE WHOLE BORDER SHOULD BE GUARDED.
ON ALL COASTS.
APPARENTLY WE DON'T HAVE THE 'RESOURCES'
TO PROTECT EVERY INCH OF OUR BORDERS.
JT IS IN OVER HIS HEAD.
He can't even answer a question
without saying uh in every sentence.
Sometimes more than once.
I had a teacher who used to do that.
For whatever reason, I wanted to see how many times
he actually said it so I counted.
In one class, he said it 18 times.
New drinking game:
Take a shot every time JT says uh.
I used to play snakes and ladders with my brother.
He always won and I ended up drunk.
I almost fell through my glass-top table.
After one of those games.
Each shot is like a beer.
Five shots is like drinking 5 beers.
Maybe I should go to bed early tonight.
I'm really tired and just need to crash, hard.
One time, I was in such a deep sleep
that when my ex and my son got home,
they tried waking me up, but they couldn't.
The thing that finally woke me up
was a pop bottle hitting the floor.
The sound woke me up,
but they were trying anything they could think of.
When I woke up my ex was saying "THAT woke you up?"
"We've been here for an hour, trying to wake you up."
I didn't hear them, but I heard that.
Today, on my way to see my mom
to pick up my wallet etc,
there was a lady with a cart
and she asked me to help her with her cart.
So we crossed the street together.
She was taking the bus so I waited with her
for her bus to come and helped her get on the bus
with her cart.
She's an older lady who told me
that she had both hips replaced.
My friend who had knee surgery,
has "hardware" in his knee.
Plates and screws.
He said he can get it removed,
once his knee is healed from the surgery.
He said he's going to have to have one more.
So he went to get an x-ray the other day.
And had physio today.
We were on the phone
and he had to hop off because he was going to be late.
I told him why I stopped going to physio for my knee...
I had gone to have a couple of beers before my appointment
because I was bracing for it to be painful.
She asked me if I was drunk when I hurt myself.
I slipped in water on the bathroom floor.
Spun right off the toilet,
snapping my knee and I dislocated it.
My kneecap was on the side of my knee, not the top.
I asked my brother to take a picture of it.
He did, but I don't know what happened to it.
Maybe I feel tired because it gets dark so freaking early, now.
It was only 3pm and it looked and felt like 6pm.
Pretty crazy. Makes everyone want to hibernate.
A good night to reset my schedule.
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