Swollen

The other night, I went to get checked out
because my legs and feet are swollen.

They haven't been this bad since I got off the bus lol.
72 hours of traveling will do that, I guess.

Been really caught up in working on my website.
I'm trying to fix a chat bot thing for my FAQ page.

Trying interactive stuff for my thing.
Building it is a bit of a hassle.

A lady at the hospital had swollen legs, too.
BUT SHE WAS MAKING A HUGE DEAL
ABOUT HAVING TO WAIT.
SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE DOING IT.

AND WHEN A NURSE CAME TO GET HER
WHEN HER NAME WAS CALLED...
SHE SAYS: "I USED TO BE A NURSE"!!!!

SHE LITERALLY BROUGHT UP SUING FOUR TIMES.

I made a few people laugh in the waiting room.
Someone was calling out someone's name, 
and it sounded like "birdy nom noms."
So I said it. "Birdy nom noms."

If you don't know what birdy nom noms is from, 
it's from a movie called The Party.
With Peter Sellers.

In the movie, the guy from India
accidentally gets fired from a movie production,
AND THEN GETS ACCIDENTALLY INVITED
TO A PARTY AT THE BOSS'S HOUSE.

And I had a pleasure of being across from a person
who decided to give us all a free 5 seconds for fresh methane.

Nobody said anything! Not even a groan.
While WTF and whatever else hung in the air.
Over all of us lol.

It was an "alrighty then" moment.
WHAT PART OF LIVING HERE HASN'T BEEN?
IT'S CANADA FFS.

Imagine getting kicked out of a hospital
for an adverse reaction to a public poot.

(and this wasn't a little poot...
This was full @ss blast.
ASS. BLAST.)

THE KIND OF THING PEOPLE
SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO JUST GO
INTO THE BATHROOM TO DO.

BECAUSE EVEN IF THEY HEARD IT
FROM THE BATHROOM,
THEY COULDN'T SEE YOU
TO PROVE IT WAS YOU.
AND YOU WOULDN'T BE ALL LIKE:
F*CK ALL OF Y'ALL, SMELL THIS!

BUT NOT EVEN ONE PERSON
COMMENTING SOMETHING LIKE "RUDE!"
NOTHING. BUT WTF.

IT'S LIKE SOMETHING FROM RIDICULOUSNESS.

You know how many WTF things I've SEEN, here? HERE?
AND IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE WTF
COMING FROM ME.

SO YOU THINK I DON'T RESPECT MYSELF
ENOUGH NOT TO BLAST @SS IN THE WAITING ROOM?

BUT IMAGINE WAITING 10 HOURS+
TO GET KICKED OUT FOR SHAMING AN @SS BLASTER.

WHO SHOULD HAVE HAD ENOUGH SHAME
NOT TO SUBJECT EVERYONE, THERE,
TO THAT "SH*T."

SHAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TOOL TO USE
FOR SELF-RESTRAINT.

LIKE I WOULD BE "TOO ASHAMED" TO XYZ.
TO BLAST @SS IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

LIKE A HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM
AS THOUGH IT WAS MY OWN LIVING ROOM.
AS THOUGH NOBODY ELSE WAS THERE.
AS THOUGH I HAVE A RIGHT TO JUST
HOLD THEM HOSTAGE 
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO STAY AND WAIT.

MAY AS WELL PUMP METHANE INTO THE ROOM
EVERY 5 SECONDS...

Anyway, just trying to keep things lighter.

But the point is people think I'm on drugs
BECAUSE I CAN AMUSE MYSELF.

DRUGS ARE FOR PEOPLE
WHO CAN'T F*CKING AMUSE THEMSELVES LOL.

"I'M SO BORED. LET'S GET HIGH!" WTF.

GO FUCKING LEARN SOMETHING.
AND F*CKING ENJOY IT.

CAN'T YOU MAKE UP A SONG?
TO SING TO YOURSELF AS YOU WAIT?

CAN'T YOU THINK JOKES TO YOURSELF?
AND HAVE A LITTLE CHUCKLE?

CAN'T YOU EVEN HAVE A LAUGH AT YOURELF?

AS SOMEONE who tends to find farts funny,
That wasn't a fart. It was an @ss blast.
Big difference.

People, in other countries...
WOULD BE SO OFFENDED BY THAT...

STONED FOR DROPPING A STONE
IN KILOS JUST FROM BLASTING @SS.

I laughed at my mother, she barely gains weight.
She said something about gaining a pound.
And I joked she'd lose it just by farting.

A Monty Python type o' style skit:

Preparing an @ss blaster to burn at a stake.
Judge: And what is the accusation of the accused?
Public: @ss blasting in a hospital waiting room.
Judge: Carry on.

Ever thought about it? How did it actually end?
The witch trials? How did it end?
Were they convinced what they were doing was wrong?
That they probably killed people
who weren't "witches" or whatever?

"We got tired of k!lling 'witches'"?

Or we'd still be doing the WTF things we used to do.
And try justifying it by old 'untrue' beliefs.

LIKE SOMEONE ACCUSING ME OF STEALING.
AND TRYING TO JUSTIFY TREATING ME
AS THOUGH I WOULD EVEN DO THAT
BY ASSUMING THAT I DID.

REPLACE THE WORD STEALING WITH XYZ.

WOULDN'T IT BE WTF
TO BE TREATED LIKE THEY STOLE OR XYZ
WHEN THEY DIDN'T?

Okay, an example here:
A show I was watching. 

A guy spent 5 years in jail for child support
ON A KID WHO ISN'T HIS.

You'd think the courts
would have to prove the kid was HIS
before locking someone up.

Accusing him of not supporting his kid, 
but wasn't his kid.

And she knew the kid
was probably not his.

And another female, her husband
got DNA tests on all 4 of "his kids"
and all 4 of them weren't his.

He confronted her about it
WHILE STILL TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS
WHO AREN'T HIS.
AND SHE REFUSED TO TALK ABOUT IT
OR ADMIT ANYTHING.
THEN 'HUNG OUT WITH THE CHANDELIER."

Those are the words he used to describe what she did.
INSTEAD OF TALKING TO HER HUSBAND.
ADMITTING TO DOING WHAT SHE DID.

HE STAYED WITH HER, TOOK CARE OF THE KIDS
LIKE HE ALWAYS HAD.

IF HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE HER,
HE HAD A REASON, RIGHT?
BUT DID HE?

SO THEY COULD SAY SHE WAS SCARED HE WOULD.
WHO KNOWS?

WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THOSE KIDS, THOUGH.

Being someone who's parent committed suicide,
I know what that's like. I understand it on a level
THAT I WISH I DIDN'T.
BUT I DO.

THAT'S WHAT ISN'T GOING THROUGH SOMEONE'S MIND
WHEN THEY THINK SELFISHLY, LIKE THAT.

BUT SOMEONE PUT IT TO ME THIS WAY:
WOULD IT BE SELFISH OF ME
TO WANT SOMEONE TO KEEP LIVING
FOR MY SAKE
IF THEY JUST DON'T, ANYMORE?

TO WANT TO FEEL LIKE
MAYBE I WAS THE REASON
THEY KEPT GOING AND WANTED TO.
I DUNNO.

WOULD THAT BE JUST AS SELFISH?
WHICH WOULD BE MORE SELFISH?

Wanting to die vs wanting to mean enough to want to stay?

Anyway, I'm probably going back to bed soon.
An alarm clock thing on this computer woke me up
and I had to stay awake to turn it off.
And it didn't want to turn off... Easily.

The swelling in my feet went down at least.
It was as though I didn't have ankles.

I knew a female who dated a male who'd
make comments about her weight.
Including that she had cankles.

She'd cry to me about how mean he was to her.
Instead of being like "f*ck this dude."

The dude I've been P*SSED at
STILL DOESN'T REALIZE
WHY I'VE BEEN P*SSED AT HIM.

HE'S AVOIDING ME FOR TREATING HIM
"LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD WHO CAN'T SEE
WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM"

THAT'S HOW HE WAS ACTING!
BEING P*SSED AT HIM FOR ACTING LIKE THAT.
TO ME.

ISN'T THE SAME THING AS TREATING HIM
LIKE HE IS.

IT'S BEING P*SSED THAT HE'S ACTING LIKE IT.

It'd be cool if people were actually self-aware.
IS IT MY FAULT THAT THEY AREN'T?
BUT I GET BLAMED THAT THEY'RE NOT!!!

SHOULD I BLAME HIM?

YEAH, FOR ACTING THE WAY HE ACTED.
TOWARDS ME.

DOES HE ACT LIKE THAT TO EVERYONE?
OR JUST ME?

PROBABLY NOT TO EVERYONE.
BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T WANT EVERYONE
TO SEE HIM OR LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT, RIGHT?

DOESN'T MATTER IF I DO, I GUESS.
BECAUSE WHY SHOULD HE CARE
ABOUT HOW I LOOK AT HIM?
HOW I SEE HIM?

IF HE DIDN'T ACT LIKE THAT, 
MAYBE I WOULD SEE HIM
THE WAY I USED TO LOOK AT HIM.

BUT I'M TO BLAME FOR HOW HE ACTS!!!!
FOR BEING P*SSED AT HIM
FOR ACTING LIKE THAT?!

GEE, WHY AM I P*SSSED?!
IF HE UNDERSTOOD AND LISTENED,
HE WOULD F*CKING KNOW WHY.

IT SHOULDN'T TAKE MUCH TO SEE WHY.
AND IF HE DOESN'T HAVE THE CAPACITY?

HE JUST WANTS TO LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST.
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO LEARN ANYTHING
FROM HIS F*CKING ACTIONS.

AND WON'T EVER ADMIT OR ACKNOWLEDGE ANYTHING!
WHY? BECAUSE IT WOULD BE LIKE ADMITTING
THAT HE ACTED THE WAY HE ACTED!!!

CAN'T COME OUT OF HIS EGO TO DO THAT.
AND THAT'S MY FAULT TOO?! 

This is WHY I don't want a relationship anymore.
It's not on me to "deal" with someone's actions.
Especially anyone who can't realize
ANYTHING ABOUT THEMSELVES.
INCLUDING HOW THEY ARE ACTING.

OR THAT IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
BECAUSE IT'S THEIR RESPONSIBILITY.

LIKE HE'S MISSING STUFF THAT HE DIDN'T WANT
TO COME GET OR SPEAK TO ME
ABOUT COMING TO GET.

AND HAD HE GOT HIS OWN THINGS...
INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE ME
RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS THINGS,
HE WOULD HAVE COLLECTED EVERYTHING OF HIS.

AND MY BROTHER WOULDN'T HAVE COME
TO PICK UP ALL HIS THINGS
AND F*CKING BROUGHT THEM
TO THE F*CKING GUY.

AND HE'LL STILL COMPLAIN
THAT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH
BECAUSE HIS STUFF WENT MISSING?

DURING THE 7 F*CKING MONTHS
IT TOOK FOR HIM TO REALIZE
THAT I DON'T HAVE THEM
BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE
WHO KEPT HAVING TO BE UP HIS @SS
ABOUT HIM GETTING HIS THINGS
TF OUT OF MY HOUSE?

IF HE CARED ABOUT HIS THINGS
ENOUGH TO ACCUSE ME OF TAKING ANYTHING
WHY NOT COME GET THEM?

AND GIVE ME MY KEY BACK HIMSELF?
INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD.
*CROSSING ARMS* "I DON'T WANNA!" "NO!"

TELL ME NO. THAT YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR THINGS.
THEN EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR THINGS HERE
UNTIL YOU "WANNA" COME GET THEM.
AFTER I KICKED YOU OUT
FOR NOT WANTING CONSIDERING ME
OR ANYTHING I HAD TO SAY.
NOT EVEN CARING THAT HIS BS IS BS.
BUT I'M TO BLAME?

WHAT IF SOMEONE CALLED THE COPS ON HIM
ON CHRISTMAS JUST TO TELL HIM I DID IT?

WHAT IF SOMEONE TOOK HIS STUFF
TO TELL HIM I DID IT?

TO "MAKE" SOME MORE "REASONS"
TO MAKE HIM WANT TO "HATE" ME.

BECAUSE IF HE REALIZED
WHY I DID ANYTHING FOR HIM AT ALL...
MAYBE HE WOULD HAVE REALIZED A LOT
A LONG TIME AGO
AND THERE WOULDN'T BE ANYTHING
TO BE P*SSED ABOUT.

BUT INSTEAD OF BLAMING THE LIARS.
THE ONES WHO ACTUALLY DID THINGS TO HIM
TO BLAME ME FOR DOING THEM...

HE'D RATHER BLAME ME.
LIKE THEY WANT HIM TO!

DOES HE EVEN GET WHY THEY'D DO THAT?
BECAUSE I TRIED EXPLAINING THAT, TOO.

IS THERE ANY REASON TO EXPLAIN WHY
I'VE BEEN P*SSED AT SOMEONE
WHO CAN'T OR REFUSES TO GET WHY?

IS THERE A POINT IN THAT? NO?
SO WHY BOTHER?

HE'S UPSET FOR BEING "TREATED LIKE THAT"
LIKE WHAT? CALLING YOU OUT?
FOR ACTING LIKE AN IGNORANT TWAT?
SHOULD I JUST BE KISSING YOUR @SS
FOR YOUR MONEY?
LIKE OTHER GIRLS?

OR SHOULD I BE TELLING YOU
TO GO F*CK YOURSELF.

YOU THINK ANY MONEY'S WORTH THAT SH*T?
AND KISSING @SS FOR IT?

AND ACTING MATURELY
ISN'T EXPECTING YOU TO KISS MY @SS.

IT'S ABOUT SEEING WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU.
TO SEE I WOULDN'T DO THAT BS TO YOU!

WHY? BECAUSE I'M MATURE ENOUGH NOT TO!

IS SEEING WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
ABOUT K*SSING ANYONE'S @SS?

IS SEEING WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
MAYBE THE LEAST YOU COULD DO?

BUT HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
WHEN YOU HAVE PEOPLE TRYING TO BLAME
A WHOLE BUNCH OF BS ON ME?

INCLUDING USING THEIR "INFLUENCE"
OVER YOU AGAINST ME.

TO COMPETE WITH ME LOL.

WHY COMPETE WITH ME
IF I'M NOT EVEN ON YOUR "RADAR"? LOL

BUT EVERY TIME I TRY HAVING A CONVERSATION.
AND I POINT OUT THINGS
THAT ADULTS SHOULD KNOW, AS ADULTS...

I'M THE "PROBLEM."

BUT USING STUPID TACTICS.
NOT READING WHAT I WROTE, NOT LISTENING, 
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT."

THEN ASK ME. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
BUT I GET TREATED LIKE I'M SPEAKING
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LANGUAGE
BECAUSE THEY COULD EASILY SEE MY POV
IF THEY F*CKING WANTED TO.

BECAUSE WHEN I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THINGS
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE EXPLAINING
SO PEOPLE CAN "KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING"

THEN BLAME ME FOR ME HAVING TO EVEN DO THAT?
AND FOR BEING UPSET FOR THESE THINGS:

1) IF THEY WANTED TO TREAT ME PROPERLY
THEY WOULD HAVE JUST F*CKING LISTENED.

2) FOR NOT ADDRESSING THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE ADDRESSED.

3) FOR ME EXPECTING THEM TO DO IT, ADDRESS IT.

LIKE I'M TREATING THEM LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD
FOR THEM ACTING LIKE THAT?

BUT THE 2 YEAR OLDS GET TREATED LIKE ADULTS?
IS THAT HOW IT WORKS? 

OR YOU WOULD TREAT ME LIKE AN ADULT
BY BEING A F*CKING ADULT.
TOWARDS ME. CORRECT?

DUDE LITERALLY WENT "BLAH BLAH" TO ME.
KEEPS INSULTING ME. CHOSE TO.

BUT IS "BLAH BLAH" SOMETHING A 40 YEAR OLD
SHOULD BE DOING?

OR IS "SORRY I EVER WAS A TW@T TO YOU"
"I SHOULDN'T EVER BEEN A TW@T TO YOU"
"I SHOULDN'T HAVE LISTENED TO THE ONES
COMING AGAINST YOU AND TELLING ME
TO BE AGAINST YOU
BECAUSE I HAD NO REASON
TO BE AGAINST YOU

"BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME A REASON
TO BE AGAINST YOU."

"BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY WANTED
ME TO BE IN YOUR LIFE
IN A MEANINGFUL WAY."

"I'M THE ONE WHO COULDN'T SEE
THE PEOPLE AROUND ME DIDN'T WANT
ME TO BE IN YOUR LIFE
IN A MEANINGFUL WAY."

"AND ACTED THE WAY THEY ACTED
TOWARDS YOU."

"DID THINGS TO ME TO BLAME YOU
SO THAT I WOULD BLAME YOU"

"TO PUSH YOU AWAY EVEN FURTHER
AND TO INSULT YOU EVEN MORE
THAN EVERYTHING ELSE ALREADY"

"AND BLAMED YOU FOR THINGS 
THAT ARE MY FAULT."

"I'M THE ONE WHO CHOSE
TO BE THE WAY I WAS BEING
TOWARDS YOU."

"I'M THE ONE WHO DIDN'T CARE
ENOUGH NOT TO CHOOSE
NOT TO BE THE WAY I WAS BEING
TOWARDS YOU."

"BECAUSE YOU SAW ME
THE WAY YOU TOLD ME YOU SAW ME
A LONG TIME AGO"

"SO I SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN YOU A REASON
TO STOP SEEING ME
THE WAY YOU TOLD ME YOU SAW ME."

"BECAUSE I WOULD BE ACTING
LIKE AN IDIOT AND A CHILD FOR DOING THAT
ESPECIALLY TO YOU
OF ALL PEOPLE."

But what do I get? Blah. Blah.
Blah f*cking blah. 

And they expect me to be in a 'girl fight'
over that? LOL.

Give me a f*cking break.
My self-respect means a lot more to me
than ANY BS anymore.

THIS EXPERIENCE AND MANY OTHERS
THAT WERE VERY SIMILAR
IS WHY.

WHY WOULD I FIGHT FOR BLAH BLAH FFS?
WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE
IN ANYONE'S CORNER FOR BLAH BLAH?

DO I THINK THAT'S ATTRACTIVE?
OR IMMATURE?
CONSIDERING EVERYTHING ELSE ALREADY?

AND THE FACT THAT YOU SEEM TO THINK
I'M NOT WORTH ADMITTING THOSE THINGS TO.
BUT WHY WOULD YOU?
YOU'RE AN "ADULT"
AND CAN JUST DO WHAT YOU "WANT" TO.
AND REFUSE TO DO THE THINGS YOU "DON'T"

ANYTHING WRONG WITH ADMITTING
ANYTHING TO ME?

OR IS THE PROBLEM THAT YOU "CAN'T"
SO WHY "SHOULD" YOU EVEN "TRY" 

WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?
OR SHOULD I JUST GIVE YOU "BLAH BLAH"
AND MAKE IT A HASSLE
TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT "ADULTS" SEEM TO DO?
MAKE EVERYTHING A HUGE HASSLE
AND BLAME EVERYONE ELSE
FOR DOING THAT, TO THEM.

INSTEAD OF MAYBE NOT GIVING ME A REASON
TO SEE THEM AS SOMEONE
WHO ONLY SEEMS TO WANT TO
MAKE EVERYTHING A HUGE HASSLE
INCLUDING JUST LISTENING TO ME.

INCLUDING SEEING MY POV.
INCLUDING CARING ENOUGH 
TO WANT TO SEE MY POV.

BUT CAN'T EXPECT ANYONE TO WANT TO.

SEEMS THE ONES WHO DEMAND THAT THEY DO
ARE THE ONES WHO SEEM TO GET THAT.

IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT DEMANDING IT?
BUT MAYBE A TAD INSULTED
BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T BE
THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD
AND I DON'T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE IT'S
THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD.

ESPECIALLY NOT FOR SOMEONE
WHO YOU COULD HAVE CARED ABOUT
AS MUCH AS THEY CARED ABOUT YOU.

CARED ENOUGH ABOUT

TO JUST...
"CONFRONT MYSELF
ABOUT THE THINGS YOU'VE TOLD ME
AND KEPT TELLING ME
BECAUSE I KEPT REFUSING TO
CONFRONT MYSELF
AND BLAMED YOU
WHICH IS INCREDIBLY INSULTING
TO YOU."

"AND I WOULD BE INCREDIBLY INSULTED
IF YOU DID THAT TO ME."

But blah f*cking blah. 
And I'm supposed to want THAT? LOL!
OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAME
BEFORE THAT?

AND JUST "PUT THE PAST IN THE PAST"
BECAUSE IT WASN'T "AS BAD AS THAT"
AND IF IT WAS, WAS "YOUR FAULT"
THE "FRIENDSHIP" ENDED.

WHAT F*CKING FRIENDSHIP?
IN WHICH YOU BLAME ME 
AND NEVER CONFRONT YOURSELF?
AND LET OTHERS BLAME ME, TOO?
FOR DOING TO YOU WHAT I NEVER DID?
BECAUSE YOU NEVER SAW
WHY I WOULDN'T?
WHY I WOULDN'T WANT THAT?

BUT I'M TO BLAME FOR THINGS
HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO
BECAUSE I'M THE ONE "MAKING IT A HASSLE"
FOR HIM TO JUST DO THAT?
LIKE I'M THE ONE SAYING BLAH BLAH?

TO JUST CONFRONT HIMSELF?
ON HOW HE'S ACTING?
BY BEING THE ONE SAYING BLAH BLAH
AND BLAMING ME FOR HIM SAYING BLAH BLAH
AND NOT BEING MATURE ENOUGH NOT TO?
JUST FOR ME POINTING IT OUT, THOUGH.

BECAUSE HOW DARE I CONFRONT HIM
ABOUT HIM NOT CONFRONTING HIMSELF?
AND BLAMING ME FOR REFUSING TO JUST DO THAT?
AS THOUGH I WOULD MAKE IT
THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD
FOR HIM TO JUST DO.

BUT YOU DON'T GET TO JUST DO A WHOLE BUNCH
OR REFUSING TO JUST DO THAT
AND BLAMING ME FOR REFUSING TO.
AND EXPECT ME TO WANT TO
"JUST PUT THE PAST IN THE PAST."

AND EXPECT ME TO SEE YOU 
THE WAY I USED TO SEE YOU...

BECAUSE IF YOU WANTED
TO KEEP MY IMAGE OF YOU INTACT,

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE REFUSED TO DO THAT.
AND YOU DEFINITELY WOULDN'T HAVE BLAMED ME
FOR YOU REFUSING TO DO THAT.

DO I WANT MORE HASSLES THAN I HAVE ALREADY?
WITHOUT ANYONE TRYING TO MAKE
SAYING AND UNDERSTANDING THESE THINGS
SUCH A HUGE HASSLE?

SHOULD I MAKE IT A HUGE HASSLE TO EVERYONE
WHO SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO TELL ME THESE THINGS...

TO TELL ME THESE THINGS?
JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT?
ABOUT MYSELF?

DON'T THEY SEE THE IRONY OF DOING THINGS
AND ACTING A WAY TO SOMEONE
WHO WOULDN'T HAVE ACTED THAT WAY, TO YOU?

BECAUSE THEY ARE MATURE ENOUGH NOT TO?

BUT WHEN YOU ACT LIKE "YOU WOULDN'T WANT
THIS BS DONE TO YOU"
YOU'RE THE ONE CAUSING PROBLEMS?

Should I let other people do sh*t to me
to blame you for doing it to me?

It had to do with me, right?
Because I'm not impressed with your BS?
So I need to put my self-respect aside
to be about some BS to you
for you to be about some BS to me?

No? I don't need to do that?
And what? I'm mature enough to know
that I don't need to be doing that?

Because any "point" in doing that
is pointless to me?

But that's the "point" I'm trying to make?
Not any of the points I actually made.

But blame me for making a point
OF MAKING A POINT OF
MAKING A POINT
OF THE POINT
OF WHAT I WAS MAKING A POINT
ABOUT.

INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING THE POINT
OF THE POINT
OF THE POINT
OF THE ACTUAL POINT.

If you can't or don't want to get the point
I'm not the "reason" for that.

Since I'm not the reason for that
Should I be treated like I am?

OR IS THAT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
WHEN YOU REFUSE TO CONFRONT YOURSELF?
AND BLAME ME FOR YOU REFUSING TO DO THAT?

SHOULD I REFUSE TO CONFRONT MYSELF?
AND BLAME EVERYONE FOR THAT?

OR WOULD THAT BE IMMATURE OF ME?
BECAUSE I USED TO DO THAT
AND SAW HOW IMMATURE IT WAS
FOR ME TO DO THAT
LET ALONE KEEP DOING
TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY SAW ME
IN ANY TYPE OF LIGHT
TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME
AT ALL.

YET I KEPT HAVING IT DONE TO ME.
BY PEOPLE WHO I SAW IN SOME TYPE OF LIGHT
TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH.

IF I HAD NO ISSUES WITH BEING BLAMED
AND IT WAS ACTUALLY MY FAULT
I WOULD TAKE THE BLAME.

BUT YOU REFUSING TO DO SOMETHING
BECAUSE YOU DON'T "WANNA"
BECAUSE YOU STILL "WANNA" TO ACT
LIKE BLAH BLAH IS "MATURE"
AND NOT "CHILDISH"

BUT I'M THE ONE TREATING YOU
THAT YOU'RE A CHILD FOR ACTING LIKE ONE?

WHEN SURELY YOU KNOW, BY NOW?
AND IF YOU KNOW, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW!

SHOULD I ACT LIKE I KNOW IF I ALREADY KNOW?
YEAH? SO SHOULDN'T YOU? TOO?

BUT SHOULD I BE TREATED LIKE I'M THE ONE TO BLAME
FOR NOT WANTING TO?

BECAUSE IF YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW...
DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW OR ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T?

BECAUSE YOU COULD ACT LIKE YOU KNOW
IF YOU WANTED TO ACT LIKE YOU KNOW.
YOU KNOW?

But on top of all that, other females contacting me
to threaten me?
Because they are insecure about themselves?
But I'm to blame for that?
So they have to do things to try to spite me? 

But had anyone acted like they knew,
toward me, would there be ANY "problems"
ANYTHING TO CONFRONT THEM ABOUT?
ANYTHING TO CONFRONT THEMSELVES ABOUT?

OR DO THEY JUST "WANNA" LIE?
TO THEMSELVES?

OR ELSE WHY REFUSE TO DO IT?
AND BLAME ME FOR REFUSING TO DO IT?

BUT GIVE EVERYONE EVERY EXCUSE
FOR ALL THEIR BS.

EVEN WHEN I TOLD YOU
THAT THEIR BS IS JUST GOING TO LEAD
TO MORE BS THAT YOU COULD AVOID
BY NOT DEALING WITH IT.

BUT DOES IT MATTER TO ME IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
THAT YOU'RE CHOOSING TO DEAL WITH THEIR BS
INSTEAD OF SOMEONE WHO ISN'T ABOUT IT?

I mean, I'd rather you didn't.
And I told you that I'd rather you didn't.

But if you'd rather do that.
AFTER TELLING ME THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO.
EVEN AFTER TELLING ME
WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO.

GO AND DO IT ANYWAY.
WHO AM I TO STOP YOU?
EVEN IF I WANTED TO?

EVEN IF I WANTED TO SAVE YOU FROM THAT BS
AND YOUR OWN BS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

I MEAN, IF YOU'D RATHER HAVE THAT?