Taking A Break (Part 4?)

Tonight, I did some cleaning. Which was long overdue.
Well some of it was cleaning, the rest was organizing.
I still have lots more to do, but it's been a long day.
Also, just feel kinda down. Don't know why.
Maybe feeling lonely or something.
Like I'm around people all day, but I'm not close to any of them.
Can't really open up to any of them.
I'm just really struggling tonight. Really struggling.
And there's nobody to talk to...

Part of the reason why I was organizing and stuff tonight.
Trying hard to focus on other things. Other than... This.
I'm thinking it's hormonal in nature, too.
So it isn't just me feeling lonely or whatever.
Just a bunch of shit mixed together that I can't even articulate.

Maybe I just get so tired that I give up trying to think 'happy' thoughts.
Maybe a lot of things....  Maybe... Whatever.
Maybe I just need another distraction or maybe I should go to bed early.
My vibration resets when I go to sleep.
That's what I've heard. It resets because there is no resistance in sleep.
Can also reset consciously if you can experience no resistance for 17 seconds.

I watched a video tonight about using triggers.
I wrote about it before, I was using colors as triggers.
I still do that every once in a while.
It helps me with making observations
because I'm observing the colors of things.
Helps me get out of my head. Out of my thoughts.
I need stuff like this. It helps me.