So... Tonight I did some studying or prepping for studying tomorrow.
I recorded a bunch of videos of myself reading from the book.
So that I can listen to them a bunch of times.
Instead of having to lug the book around everywhere.
It's like 1,000 pages and it is heavy.
So listening to it will be an advantage for me.
I recorded them in 20 minute chunks.
I have some more to make tomorrow.
I still have a couple more chapters. It's a start
and something I should have done a while ago.
But the idea came to me so I had to run with it.
I made other videos to teach myself some other stuff, they were effective.
It seems like a good method so I will use it.
Feeling not well tonight. Huge coffee crash and gotta try to sleep soon.
Since I'm on breakfast shift next week. Starting at 6am.
It's still dark by the time I get there and barely awake.
I have to get up at like 3am instead of going to bed at 3am.
It has been quite the adjustment, but I have tomorrow off so it should be okay.
Monday will be a long day because I have the shift
and then I have a meeting in the evening.
No more coffee for a while though. It causes a crash and I feel really 'yuck.'
It might help me get to sleep though because it is sometimes easier to sleep
when I'm on the other side of a crash.
Not looking forward to starting so early, but we alternate.
We go from breakfast to lunch and lunch to breakfast.
So one group isn't always stuck doing breakfast or lunch.
And one group isn't always starting super early and the other later.
It makes it fair for both groups, but a pain in the butt, too.
When you get used to waking up at like 7am one week,
then you have to get up at 3am the week after.
I get up 3 hours earlier than the shift starts so I can get ready and 'wake up'
before having to leave and grab the bus.
Plus, I leave early for the bus in case I miss it
so that I get there either early or on time.
We'll see how many people are left at the end of each week.
A lot either got dropped or dropped out the first 2 weeks.
It's not easy to stay in the program. It's hard.
But of course it will be. They have their standards
and expect us to do our best. No f*cking around.
The next part of the book I'm reading is about impulse control.
Which I've already written about a few times.
I might write one more post about it and some other stuff tomorrow.
Depending on how I'm feeling, but I want to make up for the few days
that I wasn't writing anything at all. During my trip.
It'll probably be about the study that was done on 4 year olds.
Called The Marshmallow Test.
Then it goes on to explain the differences between those
who have a greater impulse control over those who do not.
It was an interesting study. Plus they met up with them as adolescents.
To see what differences the groups had. So I'll write about that.
Good thing I don't have to go in tomorrow.
Looks like it's snowing a lot out there.
The storm system moved over B.C and they don't usually get snow.
Don't know if they got it or how much of it, if they did.
They usually just get rain.
I'm safe and warm in here, thankfully.
Winters are the worst to be homeless.
A lot of drinking to feel warm... But a lot actually freeze to death.
The shelters are full. But some churches open up.
In the summer it's not as bad. More like camping all the time.
Still can get depressing, but more bearable, I guess.
I am lucky to have a roof over my head. To be off the street.
To be in these programs and get the support I need.
People may have their opinions about people who need support,
but when people need help... That is what help is for.
So that the supported can become the supporters. The cycle continues.
And yeah, it may have taken me longer than I thought to get here,
but I'm not where I used to be
and I definitely won't be here forever.
Eventually, I'll be in a position to help others who need it.
Because of the help I've gotten and been given.
But there are still some who will look down on me for getting help.
Which is their opinion and I don't have to have an opinion
about their opinions. Theirs are theirs, mine are mine.
In a way, I'm helping where I can by sharing my experiences.
Sharing things that have been helping me.
Sharing my insights and stuff like that and maybe that helps, a little bit.
It's the least I can do. Getting help has helped me in more ways than one.
It's given me time to think things through, to write,
to contemplate stuff, get my head on a little straighter, etc.
I know I have a long way to go still, but I have come a pretty long way already.
Maybe I'll be blogging into my 40s and can look back on how far I have come.
Who knows? I enjoy it, though. I'll continue if I can.
And if I can't, it'll be a legacy of sorts. People can get to know me
after I'm dead and gone and see me in a way they never have. Whatever.
It's not about that, though. It's more documenting stuff
that I'm figuring out as I go, some experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc.
A bunch of stuff... Pretty much a summary of my life. Of me.
As those who read it regularly already know.
You already know what I'm about and been about
since whenever you started reading this blog.
I'm pretty open on here. I do leave a lot out, but there's still a lot
that I don't tell anyone. Most people I know don't know this blog exists.
Maybe they'll find out one day, maybe not. It isn't the point of this.
The point has always been just to have an outlet
and maybe reach someone out there.
Who some of this stuff resonates with or whatever.
Other than that, it's just a blog. I'm just a human
learning how to have a spiritual experience while I'm still alive.
Learning how to grow, how to evolve, how to do a bunch of stuff.
Anyway, with that, I will say goodnight.
I'll write tomorrow. Sleep well.
I recorded a bunch of videos of myself reading from the book.
So that I can listen to them a bunch of times.
Instead of having to lug the book around everywhere.
It's like 1,000 pages and it is heavy.
So listening to it will be an advantage for me.
I recorded them in 20 minute chunks.
I have some more to make tomorrow.
I still have a couple more chapters. It's a start
and something I should have done a while ago.
But the idea came to me so I had to run with it.
I made other videos to teach myself some other stuff, they were effective.
It seems like a good method so I will use it.
Feeling not well tonight. Huge coffee crash and gotta try to sleep soon.
Since I'm on breakfast shift next week. Starting at 6am.
It's still dark by the time I get there and barely awake.
I have to get up at like 3am instead of going to bed at 3am.
It has been quite the adjustment, but I have tomorrow off so it should be okay.
Monday will be a long day because I have the shift
and then I have a meeting in the evening.
No more coffee for a while though. It causes a crash and I feel really 'yuck.'
It might help me get to sleep though because it is sometimes easier to sleep
when I'm on the other side of a crash.
Not looking forward to starting so early, but we alternate.
We go from breakfast to lunch and lunch to breakfast.
So one group isn't always stuck doing breakfast or lunch.
And one group isn't always starting super early and the other later.
It makes it fair for both groups, but a pain in the butt, too.
When you get used to waking up at like 7am one week,
then you have to get up at 3am the week after.
I get up 3 hours earlier than the shift starts so I can get ready and 'wake up'
before having to leave and grab the bus.
Plus, I leave early for the bus in case I miss it
so that I get there either early or on time.
We'll see how many people are left at the end of each week.
A lot either got dropped or dropped out the first 2 weeks.
It's not easy to stay in the program. It's hard.
But of course it will be. They have their standards
and expect us to do our best. No f*cking around.
The next part of the book I'm reading is about impulse control.
Which I've already written about a few times.
I might write one more post about it and some other stuff tomorrow.
Depending on how I'm feeling, but I want to make up for the few days
that I wasn't writing anything at all. During my trip.
It'll probably be about the study that was done on 4 year olds.
Called The Marshmallow Test.
Then it goes on to explain the differences between those
who have a greater impulse control over those who do not.
It was an interesting study. Plus they met up with them as adolescents.
To see what differences the groups had. So I'll write about that.
Good thing I don't have to go in tomorrow.
Looks like it's snowing a lot out there.
The storm system moved over B.C and they don't usually get snow.
Don't know if they got it or how much of it, if they did.
They usually just get rain.
I'm safe and warm in here, thankfully.
Winters are the worst to be homeless.
A lot of drinking to feel warm... But a lot actually freeze to death.
The shelters are full. But some churches open up.
In the summer it's not as bad. More like camping all the time.
Still can get depressing, but more bearable, I guess.
I am lucky to have a roof over my head. To be off the street.
To be in these programs and get the support I need.
People may have their opinions about people who need support,
but when people need help... That is what help is for.
So that the supported can become the supporters. The cycle continues.
And yeah, it may have taken me longer than I thought to get here,
but I'm not where I used to be
and I definitely won't be here forever.
Eventually, I'll be in a position to help others who need it.
Because of the help I've gotten and been given.
But there are still some who will look down on me for getting help.
Which is their opinion and I don't have to have an opinion
about their opinions. Theirs are theirs, mine are mine.
In a way, I'm helping where I can by sharing my experiences.
Sharing things that have been helping me.
Sharing my insights and stuff like that and maybe that helps, a little bit.
It's the least I can do. Getting help has helped me in more ways than one.
It's given me time to think things through, to write,
to contemplate stuff, get my head on a little straighter, etc.
I know I have a long way to go still, but I have come a pretty long way already.
Maybe I'll be blogging into my 40s and can look back on how far I have come.
Who knows? I enjoy it, though. I'll continue if I can.
And if I can't, it'll be a legacy of sorts. People can get to know me
after I'm dead and gone and see me in a way they never have. Whatever.
It's not about that, though. It's more documenting stuff
that I'm figuring out as I go, some experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc.
A bunch of stuff... Pretty much a summary of my life. Of me.
As those who read it regularly already know.
You already know what I'm about and been about
since whenever you started reading this blog.
I'm pretty open on here. I do leave a lot out, but there's still a lot
that I don't tell anyone. Most people I know don't know this blog exists.
Maybe they'll find out one day, maybe not. It isn't the point of this.
The point has always been just to have an outlet
and maybe reach someone out there.
Who some of this stuff resonates with or whatever.
Other than that, it's just a blog. I'm just a human
learning how to have a spiritual experience while I'm still alive.
Learning how to grow, how to evolve, how to do a bunch of stuff.
Anyway, with that, I will say goodnight.
I'll write tomorrow. Sleep well.
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