Commitment... Sounds serious...
The only commitments I have are my obligations.
To family mostly.
Other than that, I'm committed to getting my project up and running next year.
I got in touch with a well known marketer.
We are in the same group, a group a friend runs.
My friend posted a question to the group.
About what their goals for the new year were.
One marketer said he was getting his plans for his wedding finalized.
So I asked how he met his wife-to-be.
I love hearing those stories. They are all different.
Also, people love to tell them. It brings them back
to when they first met their partner.
Anyway, it opened up a conversation
and then he looked at my profile and saw that I'm also Canadian.
Then he sent me a friend request.
So now I have a new connection in the marketing world.
Anyways, the part of the book I'm reading now
is about commitment.
It talks about the commitment process.
7 steps in the commitment process...
1) Clarify your values (what is important?)
2) Identify your goals and interests (what do you want?)
3) Create options that serve your goals and your values
4) Select a course of action that serves your goals and values
5) Declare it publicly
6) Convert the commitment into action
7) Evaluate the result
I had posted about an offer to run ad campaigns for local businesses.
A few people reached out to me, but I didn't know
so I was late in replying so I think I missed out on those opportunities.
But at least I am trying. I am working on a website for that, too.
Thought about starting a digital advertising agency.
It would be great for me. It is an option.
For now, I'm setting up these courses
and I'm going to see where that goes.
Maybe I will get an opportunity to work with some marketers next year.
I can offer some of their products as bonuses, possibly.
Things have to get set up first.
So I'm working on that huge project that will take most of the year.
Plus, my friend is teaching me tech stuff.
He's a network administrator and he says that I should study it
and learn all about networking so that I can take the exam
and get my certification to become a network admin.
They start at like 70K/year. That is to start.
And it's a lot of money, a lot more than I see right now.
So I am learning that stuff. There's a lot to learn.
Basically how computers communicate over the Internet.
There are a bunch of different protocols.
The protocol for email and the protocol for displaying web pages
are definitely not the only protocols.
Each protocol has its own port... There's a lot.
He was trying to teach me everything in like 3 hours.
Trying to cram as much info into my brain as possible.
My brain can only handle so much at a time.
So he told me to watch the certification videos.
So the things I have to focus on... That's what I'm committed to right now.
If I want to make progress, financially and so forth,
I have some opportunities. I was given these for a reason.
Because it could be my way out of where I'm at in my life right now.
My now doesn't have to be my forever.
If other people want to have their fun and not commit to anything.
Even to building a friendship with me, that is their choice.
I've been trying to reach out to someone from high school.
Who hasn't wanted to actually make a solid plan with me for like 3 months.
So now, I give up. I really hate reaching out to people
who just obviously don't care.
If they did, they'd at least commit to making a plan
and actually commit to following through with it.
I actually got a surprise message from an old friend.
She said she was sorry if she said or did anything to hurt me.
In a way, she did, but in a way I let it hurt.
I've been working on a lot of stuff, not just this project and study stuff.
I'm working on seeing things differently.
I can't take things too personally anymore.
Even this friend from high school dodging me.
We go back to when we were little kids, by the way.
He wasn't just a friend from high school.
And neither was she.
I'm starting to feel stronger now.
If people do not want me in their lives,
they don't have to have me in their lives.
Also, I don't have to have THEM in MY life.
That's all there is to it. People have walked away.
People have dodged me. People have ignored me.
They can do whatever the f*ck they want.
And guess what?! So can I!
I don't have to sit around and wait for M*** to make up his mind.
I don't have to sit around for anyone to make up their mind.
If they'd rather only hang out with certain people, and I'm not one of them,
then I don't have to be one of them.
When I'm making more money, people might see me differently.
Because that seems to be all a lot of people care about these days.
When I'm climbing my way to the top, alone...
Maybe they'll wish that I brought them with me.
Well... Where the f*ck were you when I just wanted to go grab a coffee?
Where were you when I said "Let's hang out"?
Where were you when I said "I want to see you"?
I don't have anyone telling me they want to see me.
If I do it happens so rarely. Soooo f*cking rarely.
I have very few actual REAL friends. VERY few.
I'm the kind of person people just forget about.
So that message from out of the blue, that surprised me.
That she even thought about me at all.
Because she thought of me so little
when we were trying to reestablish our friendship.
She had all these other friends she wanted to hang out with
and announce all over facebook what a great night she had with so and so.
Knowing that I would see that. Knowing I wasn't invited.
But this is me thinking THAT way about it
instead of: Oh P** had a nice time with so and so, good for her!
Just someone with virtually zero social life... Who wants one.
Even a fraction of the one others seem to have...
Even to be thought of would be nice.
So it was a nice gesture. It caught me by surprise.
Because I'm not the person people just contact out of the blue
and say: "I'm thinking of doing this, would you like to come?"
Or even ask me how I'm doing.
Now that I have 2 friends who I sometimes see...
It's better than having zero friends.
All the other 'friends' I had are acquaintances. Pretty much.
People so seldom get to know me.
Because they don't give me the chance to get to know me.
And the reason they don't give me that chance
is because they don't know me.
But if they gave me the chance TO get to know me,
maybe they would know me by now.
Like one of my neighbors who recently started talking to me.
When he happens to see me. Before he would barely even say hi to me.
I've lived here for 14 f*cking YEARS and so has he
and any time during those 14 years he could have gotten to know me
and I BET YOU he doesn't even know my name. I know his.
So anyway, people can do what they want. I'm not waiting for anyone.
I'm not waiting for anyone to call. They either do or they don't.
I'm not waiting for anyone to think of inviting me anywhere
to do anything. They either do or they don't.
They don't have to care. Most of them don't and never will.
So why should I keep trying? For what? I have my own stuff going on.
It's not that I'm going to just tell them all to f*ck off or anything,
but I'm not going to take it to heart anymore
that I'm not on their list of people they care even a little bit about.
Even after extensive histories with some people.
Even when they still matter to me.
I either matter to them or I don't. If I don't, I don't have to.
But they don't have to matter to me either. It goes both ways.
The only commitments I have are my obligations.
To family mostly.
Other than that, I'm committed to getting my project up and running next year.
I got in touch with a well known marketer.
We are in the same group, a group a friend runs.
My friend posted a question to the group.
About what their goals for the new year were.
One marketer said he was getting his plans for his wedding finalized.
So I asked how he met his wife-to-be.
I love hearing those stories. They are all different.
Also, people love to tell them. It brings them back
to when they first met their partner.
Anyway, it opened up a conversation
and then he looked at my profile and saw that I'm also Canadian.
Then he sent me a friend request.
So now I have a new connection in the marketing world.
Anyways, the part of the book I'm reading now
is about commitment.
It talks about the commitment process.
7 steps in the commitment process...
1) Clarify your values (what is important?)
2) Identify your goals and interests (what do you want?)
3) Create options that serve your goals and your values
4) Select a course of action that serves your goals and values
5) Declare it publicly
6) Convert the commitment into action
7) Evaluate the result
I had posted about an offer to run ad campaigns for local businesses.
A few people reached out to me, but I didn't know
so I was late in replying so I think I missed out on those opportunities.
But at least I am trying. I am working on a website for that, too.
Thought about starting a digital advertising agency.
It would be great for me. It is an option.
For now, I'm setting up these courses
and I'm going to see where that goes.
Maybe I will get an opportunity to work with some marketers next year.
I can offer some of their products as bonuses, possibly.
Things have to get set up first.
So I'm working on that huge project that will take most of the year.
Plus, my friend is teaching me tech stuff.
He's a network administrator and he says that I should study it
and learn all about networking so that I can take the exam
and get my certification to become a network admin.
They start at like 70K/year. That is to start.
And it's a lot of money, a lot more than I see right now.
So I am learning that stuff. There's a lot to learn.
Basically how computers communicate over the Internet.
There are a bunch of different protocols.
The protocol for email and the protocol for displaying web pages
are definitely not the only protocols.
Each protocol has its own port... There's a lot.
He was trying to teach me everything in like 3 hours.
Trying to cram as much info into my brain as possible.
My brain can only handle so much at a time.
So he told me to watch the certification videos.
So the things I have to focus on... That's what I'm committed to right now.
If I want to make progress, financially and so forth,
I have some opportunities. I was given these for a reason.
Because it could be my way out of where I'm at in my life right now.
My now doesn't have to be my forever.
If other people want to have their fun and not commit to anything.
Even to building a friendship with me, that is their choice.
I've been trying to reach out to someone from high school.
Who hasn't wanted to actually make a solid plan with me for like 3 months.
So now, I give up. I really hate reaching out to people
who just obviously don't care.
If they did, they'd at least commit to making a plan
and actually commit to following through with it.
I actually got a surprise message from an old friend.
She said she was sorry if she said or did anything to hurt me.
In a way, she did, but in a way I let it hurt.
I've been working on a lot of stuff, not just this project and study stuff.
I'm working on seeing things differently.
I can't take things too personally anymore.
Even this friend from high school dodging me.
We go back to when we were little kids, by the way.
He wasn't just a friend from high school.
And neither was she.
I'm starting to feel stronger now.
If people do not want me in their lives,
they don't have to have me in their lives.
Also, I don't have to have THEM in MY life.
That's all there is to it. People have walked away.
People have dodged me. People have ignored me.
They can do whatever the f*ck they want.
And guess what?! So can I!
I don't have to sit around and wait for M*** to make up his mind.
I don't have to sit around for anyone to make up their mind.
If they'd rather only hang out with certain people, and I'm not one of them,
then I don't have to be one of them.
When I'm making more money, people might see me differently.
Because that seems to be all a lot of people care about these days.
When I'm climbing my way to the top, alone...
Maybe they'll wish that I brought them with me.
Well... Where the f*ck were you when I just wanted to go grab a coffee?
Where were you when I said "Let's hang out"?
Where were you when I said "I want to see you"?
I don't have anyone telling me they want to see me.
If I do it happens so rarely. Soooo f*cking rarely.
I have very few actual REAL friends. VERY few.
I'm the kind of person people just forget about.
So that message from out of the blue, that surprised me.
That she even thought about me at all.
Because she thought of me so little
when we were trying to reestablish our friendship.
She had all these other friends she wanted to hang out with
and announce all over facebook what a great night she had with so and so.
Knowing that I would see that. Knowing I wasn't invited.
But this is me thinking THAT way about it
instead of: Oh P** had a nice time with so and so, good for her!
Just someone with virtually zero social life... Who wants one.
Even a fraction of the one others seem to have...
Even to be thought of would be nice.
So it was a nice gesture. It caught me by surprise.
Because I'm not the person people just contact out of the blue
and say: "I'm thinking of doing this, would you like to come?"
Or even ask me how I'm doing.
Now that I have 2 friends who I sometimes see...
It's better than having zero friends.
All the other 'friends' I had are acquaintances. Pretty much.
People so seldom get to know me.
Because they don't give me the chance to get to know me.
And the reason they don't give me that chance
is because they don't know me.
But if they gave me the chance TO get to know me,
maybe they would know me by now.
Like one of my neighbors who recently started talking to me.
When he happens to see me. Before he would barely even say hi to me.
I've lived here for 14 f*cking YEARS and so has he
and any time during those 14 years he could have gotten to know me
and I BET YOU he doesn't even know my name. I know his.
So anyway, people can do what they want. I'm not waiting for anyone.
I'm not waiting for anyone to call. They either do or they don't.
I'm not waiting for anyone to think of inviting me anywhere
to do anything. They either do or they don't.
They don't have to care. Most of them don't and never will.
So why should I keep trying? For what? I have my own stuff going on.
It's not that I'm going to just tell them all to f*ck off or anything,
but I'm not going to take it to heart anymore
that I'm not on their list of people they care even a little bit about.
Even after extensive histories with some people.
Even when they still matter to me.
I either matter to them or I don't. If I don't, I don't have to.
But they don't have to matter to me either. It goes both ways.
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