About Listening

The last section I was on was about communication.
There was a part where the writer was saying
that we communicate to be understood, not to understand.
Because it seems that we want to be understood more than we want to understand.
It seems to me that the more we understand,
the more we're understood,
but it isn't up to us whether or not others understand.
Their understanding depends on them,
on their capacity to understand as well as their desire to understand.
Over their ego's desire to be understood.

Anyway, this section I'm on is about listening.
Eric (the author) says that there's 10 guidelines for listening.

To listen with:

1) A head-heart connection (to pause and reflect)
2) The intent of understanding
3) Your eyes. When we see things, we hear them better.
4) Empathy and Acceptance

To listen for:

1) The message and the message behind the message
2) Content and feelings behind the content
3) Other's interests, not just their position
4) What they are saying and what they are NOT saying
5) The areas where they are afraid or hurt

and finally, to listen as you would want to be listened to. 
He says about listening with intent...
That it is a choice and we are in charge of the choices we make.

When we reflect good receptivity, we position others to be receptive also.
While building rapport and trust at the same time.

"Active listening enhances your ability
to understand and be understood
and to make a possitive difference."