The other day I yelled at some jerk on the bus.
He was playing rap music and it was loud and annoying.
Nobody was saying anything, but I knew they felt the same way I did.
I asked him to turn it off. He said I could have asked nicely.
But by the time I was ready to confront him, I just had had enough.
I did say please a couple of times, but he did turn it up louder
just to spite me of course and to piss me off more.
The driver actually stopped the bus
because the dude didn't want me yelling at him.
I wouldn't have had to yell at him if he just used headphones like everyone else.
He pissed me off and I only have so much patience/tolerance/self-control.
I shouldn't be forced to listen to some music I don't want to listen to.
It's not like I can just tune that out. Maybe some people can, but not me.
So it seems like I was the only one on the bus with enough balls
to get him to turn it off. To stand up to him.
My boyfriend was there and he just kept saying
that it could have been a dangerous situation. He could have had a knife.
I said that he pissed me off so much that I didn't care if he had a knife.
I realise people don't generally like being told what to do.
I don't either. I have a friend who always offers advice when I don't ask for it.
It is her way of 'helping.'
She doesn't realise that if I wanted help I would ask for it.
I don't usually ask for help, from anyone.
I keep feeling like I owe people who help me. I know that sounds weird.
I know they are just helping and not expecting anything from me.
But I feel obligated to them for helping me. Since it is a big deal to me.
Then when I don't have anything to offer them, I feel guilty. It's hard to explain.
I haven't been making much time for my friends or anyone.
I have been working so much. They increased my hours.
It is nice to have money, but everything else in my life is suffering for it.
I don't want to be one of those people who only cares about work and money.
I never cared a lot about those things before, I always got by.
Family and friends always have and always will mean more to me than money.
It is just hard just 'getting by' like I have been most of my life.
I know I don't have to live like that anymore.
But one day I could easily be right back to where I was not so long ago.
The thing is that I do not want to be a slave to money,
to this job, to this company, to anyone for anything.
I would rather make time for the things that are important to me.
For the people who are important to me.
I rarely see my family anymore. Because I am always at work.
I stay up late at night, to crochet, to catch up on things, to have time for myself.
Then I have little time for anything before work.
It is getting crazy and I feel like I am going crazy.
My job is the same things over and over and over again.
It gets depressing emptying garbage bins under people's desks.
Knowing they are definitely making more money than me,
they are dumping coffees in the garbage they might take two sips from,
that they can afford to waste money like that.
That they don't have to empty garbages, polish elevators, wash windows,
or wash someone else's dishes, wash toilets...
And this company I am working for, trying to get whatever they can from me.
Just like the last place. Do this, this, this and that...
I seriously do not have enough time to do EVERYTHING they want me to
or expect me to do every single day. I am not a machine.
When they increased our hours the supervisor basically said,
"If you don't take it, we will give it to someone else."
Basically giving us no choice in the matter. I hate this.
I hate getting home at 2:30 in the morning.
I hate being so tired that I'm cranky.
I hate having more and more and more added to my plate
and being threatened like that. "Take it or else."
They can get away with crap like that because only people who can't get jobs
end up working for them. They know it.
People who are desperate for work. They can pick whoever shows up.
These jobs are a dime a dozen. They know it, we know it.
The thing is with these kinds of jobs is that they leave you feeling stuck.
Like there is nothing else out there, that this is it. No hope left.
They get you working as much as they can
so that you have no time to even look for anything else
let alone get anything else.
I knew a guy who was at the college. For 18 years.
I do not want to end up at the same job for 20 years.
I only have so much time left.
I only have so much energy left.
I only have so much life left.
You know what I mean? Life is too short to be a f*cking janitor.
He was playing rap music and it was loud and annoying.
Nobody was saying anything, but I knew they felt the same way I did.
I asked him to turn it off. He said I could have asked nicely.
But by the time I was ready to confront him, I just had had enough.
I did say please a couple of times, but he did turn it up louder
just to spite me of course and to piss me off more.
The driver actually stopped the bus
because the dude didn't want me yelling at him.
I wouldn't have had to yell at him if he just used headphones like everyone else.
He pissed me off and I only have so much patience/tolerance/self-control.
I shouldn't be forced to listen to some music I don't want to listen to.
It's not like I can just tune that out. Maybe some people can, but not me.
So it seems like I was the only one on the bus with enough balls
to get him to turn it off. To stand up to him.
My boyfriend was there and he just kept saying
that it could have been a dangerous situation. He could have had a knife.
I said that he pissed me off so much that I didn't care if he had a knife.
I realise people don't generally like being told what to do.
I don't either. I have a friend who always offers advice when I don't ask for it.
It is her way of 'helping.'
She doesn't realise that if I wanted help I would ask for it.
I don't usually ask for help, from anyone.
I keep feeling like I owe people who help me. I know that sounds weird.
I know they are just helping and not expecting anything from me.
But I feel obligated to them for helping me. Since it is a big deal to me.
Then when I don't have anything to offer them, I feel guilty. It's hard to explain.
I haven't been making much time for my friends or anyone.
I have been working so much. They increased my hours.
It is nice to have money, but everything else in my life is suffering for it.
I don't want to be one of those people who only cares about work and money.
I never cared a lot about those things before, I always got by.
Family and friends always have and always will mean more to me than money.
It is just hard just 'getting by' like I have been most of my life.
I know I don't have to live like that anymore.
But one day I could easily be right back to where I was not so long ago.
The thing is that I do not want to be a slave to money,
to this job, to this company, to anyone for anything.
I would rather make time for the things that are important to me.
For the people who are important to me.
I rarely see my family anymore. Because I am always at work.
I stay up late at night, to crochet, to catch up on things, to have time for myself.
Then I have little time for anything before work.
It is getting crazy and I feel like I am going crazy.
My job is the same things over and over and over again.
It gets depressing emptying garbage bins under people's desks.
Knowing they are definitely making more money than me,
they are dumping coffees in the garbage they might take two sips from,
that they can afford to waste money like that.
That they don't have to empty garbages, polish elevators, wash windows,
or wash someone else's dishes, wash toilets...
And this company I am working for, trying to get whatever they can from me.
Just like the last place. Do this, this, this and that...
I seriously do not have enough time to do EVERYTHING they want me to
or expect me to do every single day. I am not a machine.
When they increased our hours the supervisor basically said,
"If you don't take it, we will give it to someone else."
Basically giving us no choice in the matter. I hate this.
I hate getting home at 2:30 in the morning.
I hate being so tired that I'm cranky.
I hate having more and more and more added to my plate
and being threatened like that. "Take it or else."
They can get away with crap like that because only people who can't get jobs
end up working for them. They know it.
People who are desperate for work. They can pick whoever shows up.
These jobs are a dime a dozen. They know it, we know it.
The thing is with these kinds of jobs is that they leave you feeling stuck.
Like there is nothing else out there, that this is it. No hope left.
They get you working as much as they can
so that you have no time to even look for anything else
let alone get anything else.
I knew a guy who was at the college. For 18 years.
I do not want to end up at the same job for 20 years.
I only have so much time left.
I only have so much energy left.
I only have so much life left.
You know what I mean? Life is too short to be a f*cking janitor.
No comments:
Post a Comment