I think one of the reasons I have such a hard time letting go
is that I doubt myself and my ability to actually let go.
I take things too seriously. Especially myself.
I feel guilt and shame when I try to let things go,
when I probably should just let them go.
I don't know why that is.
Maybe I'm giving some things more value than they actually have?
Probably because I feel I want to be more valuable than I actually do feel.
If that makes sense.
I've been holding onto objects. Things I know I don't actually need.
Sometimes because the connection I've made for it to myself.
Not that the connection is actually real,
it's something I made for it and for myself
that I need in my life. So I keep the thing.
Also to avoid the guilt and shame for letting it go.
My mind keeps wandering back to subjects
that I know don't really matter. They don't.
But what does matter is catching myself doing it,
and stopping it from continuing. To look at other subjects.
Today, I went for a walk. I went and got a muffin and a coffee.
The point was to let myself be in the moment and to enjoy the moment.
I caught myself thinking about the things I didn't want to be thinking about
rather than just being there, and enjoying eating my muffin,
to actually appreciate that small moment. Because it was the whole point.
I get lost in my stupid thoughts all the time and I don't want that.
I want to actually appreciate the good things in life
and be thankful for them. I want to let myself be happy.
Or at the very least let myself enjoy the small moments.
I keep telling myself:
"You're not here to think about anyone,
or to think about all the things you can't change.
You're here, right now,
to think about what you are doing, right now.
To enjoy what you are doing, right now.
To think about how much you missed the sunshine,
and about how nice and warm it feels on your face."
It snaps me out of my thought patterns,
gets me to redirect my attention, my thoughts,
and new feelings start emerging from changing my thoughts.
I think what is happening is the because I'm learning
that I don't have to think about what my ego wants me to
or do what my ego tells me to,
my ego is trying extra hard to keep whatever control over me
that it has left.
Our egos want us to think totally opposite of what is actually true.
Because that is how they control us.
Anyway, what this post is really about is how to overcome self-doubt.
1) Face your fears.
Again, "What would you do if you were not afraid?"
Afraid of what others thought about it,
Afraid of being judged for it,
Afraid of potential risks. (Imagined loss.)
Afraid of failure... Rejection... The challenge itself... etc.
Fear is a major connection to self-doubt.
Most of the time it's the cause of self-doubt.
We face our fears by giving it a chance, giving it a try.
2) Set specific goals.
General goals are so general
that they generally don't get met.
WHAT is it that you REALLY want to do?
WHY do you really want to DO it?
WHEN are you going to have it DONE by?
HOW can you make the steps into small actions?
WHERE do you NEED to BE? (actually place/environment or mindset).
WHAT would be most supportive to achieving the goal?
WHO could I ask for help if I need to?
3) Get advice and feedback
Feedback from others who have gone through
what you are going through is important.
When you know that what you want to do, has already been done,
it makes it easier to remember it's possible.
Knowing what works and what doesn't work
is the difference between focusing your energy
in the right direction and wasting your time and energy.
Better to know where to really pay attention
and how to really focus your energy.
4) Carry out "Self-Talk" and Visualization
Affirming new beliefs and new knowledge,
simply reminding yourself of new ways of thinking,
acting, being, even feeling,
can be the very assurance we need to eliminate self-doubt.
When we can imagine something, and feel it,
we tend to start believing it, more.
5) Relaxation and resuming focus
We all get so caught up in our own thoughts
that we simply forget how to actually relax.
When we get caught up in our own thoughts,
we tend to lose focus, our focus wanders and
we end up just focusing on the thoughts we're having.
Instead of the activity we are doing,
or the action we could be taking, otherwise.
Not only can we resume focus, but we can redirect it.
We can actually say "no" to our automatic thoughts
and choose thoughts that are actually suitable.
We can acknowledge our thoughts.
We're supposed to. But we don't have to entertain them too much.
Especially if they are thoughts that are self-sabotaging.
The opposite of sabotage is support.
I've been the Queen of self-sabotage,
but I know that I don't have to rely on anyone for support.
The more I have, the more I've felt let down.
Heck, I've even let myself down. I still do.
What I need to feel trustworthy to myself, and reliable
is to exercise my willpower more.
The more I use my willpower, the more support I can
be to and give to myself. So that I don't even think about
seeking it from anyone else.
is that I doubt myself and my ability to actually let go.
I take things too seriously. Especially myself.
I feel guilt and shame when I try to let things go,
when I probably should just let them go.
I don't know why that is.
Maybe I'm giving some things more value than they actually have?
Probably because I feel I want to be more valuable than I actually do feel.
If that makes sense.
I've been holding onto objects. Things I know I don't actually need.
Sometimes because the connection I've made for it to myself.
Not that the connection is actually real,
it's something I made for it and for myself
that I need in my life. So I keep the thing.
Also to avoid the guilt and shame for letting it go.
My mind keeps wandering back to subjects
that I know don't really matter. They don't.
But what does matter is catching myself doing it,
and stopping it from continuing. To look at other subjects.
Today, I went for a walk. I went and got a muffin and a coffee.
The point was to let myself be in the moment and to enjoy the moment.
I caught myself thinking about the things I didn't want to be thinking about
rather than just being there, and enjoying eating my muffin,
to actually appreciate that small moment. Because it was the whole point.
I get lost in my stupid thoughts all the time and I don't want that.
I want to actually appreciate the good things in life
and be thankful for them. I want to let myself be happy.
Or at the very least let myself enjoy the small moments.
I keep telling myself:
"You're not here to think about anyone,
or to think about all the things you can't change.
You're here, right now,
to think about what you are doing, right now.
To enjoy what you are doing, right now.
To think about how much you missed the sunshine,
and about how nice and warm it feels on your face."
It snaps me out of my thought patterns,
gets me to redirect my attention, my thoughts,
and new feelings start emerging from changing my thoughts.
I think what is happening is the because I'm learning
that I don't have to think about what my ego wants me to
or do what my ego tells me to,
my ego is trying extra hard to keep whatever control over me
that it has left.
Our egos want us to think totally opposite of what is actually true.
Because that is how they control us.
Anyway, what this post is really about is how to overcome self-doubt.
1) Face your fears.
Again, "What would you do if you were not afraid?"
Afraid of what others thought about it,
Afraid of being judged for it,
Afraid of potential risks. (Imagined loss.)
Afraid of failure... Rejection... The challenge itself... etc.
Fear is a major connection to self-doubt.
Most of the time it's the cause of self-doubt.
We face our fears by giving it a chance, giving it a try.
2) Set specific goals.
General goals are so general
that they generally don't get met.
WHAT is it that you REALLY want to do?
WHY do you really want to DO it?
WHEN are you going to have it DONE by?
HOW can you make the steps into small actions?
WHERE do you NEED to BE? (actually place/environment or mindset).
WHAT would be most supportive to achieving the goal?
WHO could I ask for help if I need to?
3) Get advice and feedback
Feedback from others who have gone through
what you are going through is important.
When you know that what you want to do, has already been done,
it makes it easier to remember it's possible.
Knowing what works and what doesn't work
is the difference between focusing your energy
in the right direction and wasting your time and energy.
Better to know where to really pay attention
and how to really focus your energy.
4) Carry out "Self-Talk" and Visualization
Affirming new beliefs and new knowledge,
simply reminding yourself of new ways of thinking,
acting, being, even feeling,
can be the very assurance we need to eliminate self-doubt.
When we can imagine something, and feel it,
we tend to start believing it, more.
5) Relaxation and resuming focus
We all get so caught up in our own thoughts
that we simply forget how to actually relax.
When we get caught up in our own thoughts,
we tend to lose focus, our focus wanders and
we end up just focusing on the thoughts we're having.
Instead of the activity we are doing,
or the action we could be taking, otherwise.
Not only can we resume focus, but we can redirect it.
We can actually say "no" to our automatic thoughts
and choose thoughts that are actually suitable.
We can acknowledge our thoughts.
We're supposed to. But we don't have to entertain them too much.
Especially if they are thoughts that are self-sabotaging.
The opposite of sabotage is support.
I've been the Queen of self-sabotage,
but I know that I don't have to rely on anyone for support.
The more I have, the more I've felt let down.
Heck, I've even let myself down. I still do.
What I need to feel trustworthy to myself, and reliable
is to exercise my willpower more.
The more I use my willpower, the more support I can
be to and give to myself. So that I don't even think about
seeking it from anyone else.
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