Changes

Things are happening. Changes are taking place.
Some good, some bad. Some things had to happen.
Whether I wanted them to or not.
Whether I was ready for it or not.
Some changes make me feel physically ill.
Breathing through it helps.
Deep breathing.
The assurance.
That I won't always feel that way.
That it will take time,
but I'll gradually feel better.
So many ups and downs in the last few days.
But I've made it through.
Just as I always have.
Just as I always will.
No matter what.
I am resilient.
I am strong.
I will find a way to move along.
Or... I will make one.
Dwelling on things does no good.
I can't unpack and move in where I don't belong.
I can't stay there. Someone will call the cops.
I'll be forcibly removed. Hahaha.
I wish there were cops for my heart
So that it would stop making me do the stupidest things...
I want to scream at it that it'll never be the boss of me.
So it better stop trying to be in control.
When it tries to take control, I suffer. Greatly.
I have to lay down the law and force it to obey.
"Comply! Damned you!" Or else. It knows what it does.
It knows the consequences, yet does it anyway. Then it laughs at me.
It's not funny. It hurts. I know it does. Yet, I still let it do what it does.
Maybe after this time, I'll wake up.
"Stop dreaming! Damned you!"
"It's time to wake up!"