On The Upswing

I didn't think it'd start happening this fast, but I'm glad it has. I'm really starting to feel better now. Last week was not one of my better weeks, but I'm thinking that this is a start to getting back on my feet. Which is always a good thing.

Just been so busy with going to the hospital and helping my Grandmother that I haven't had much time to think about much else. Keeping busy always helps. Only I do realize that I do need to start getting out at least a little bit.

I'm going to a seminar next week. I went to one from that group before (Relationships Matter). Was a good one about grieving. The guy presenting it was a grief counsellor. I don't know if it will be the same presenter this time or not. Which reminds me that I should type out the notes that I took from the last one. I got lots of notes from the workshops and things I was going to at the beginning of this year. When I was really starting to do well. So there's that.

Anyway, the seminar is called: "The Art of Mindful Living."

The description is: How to discover stillness, poise and inspiration through living in the moment? Our life seems full of complexity, a constant struggle. Very often we blame the world for this complexity. But our inner attitude is essential: the way in which we connect to the world, to others, to ourselves, the way in which we use our mind and emotions, all this will determine our experience of life. If only we change our attitude, we can discover the fluidity of life: a way of life where we live more freely.

Presenter: Swamini Umananda is one of these teachers whose life illustrates the role that spirituality can play in the modern world. It is through the deep and universal philosophy that she found the answers to living a more mindful life.

Also practiced my piano skills online. There are a lot of songs that I'm really rusty at but some of them are starting to come back to me. One song I was practicing tonight is called "How Great Thou Art". But I don't play it as well as this guy played it in this video. My Grandmother used to sing it at Church. When I play it for her now, she hums to it. I think it's helping her get her memory back. I stopped going after my Grandfather died (at Christmas time in '98). Christmas and Church just were never the same without him.

Another thing I gotta remember to do is to submit a poem to my dropbox for my poetry group. The ones I read so far are pretty good. They are more advanced than mine. But I'm unique. I haven't really tried to fine tune my "art". Just have it for emotional release I guess you could call it.

Those are the only two things I signed up for this month. Might make it to my book club, or my knitting guild, but have only been going to the hospital. My Grandmother probably loves me more than anyone else does in this world. I love her, too. I have to put others' needs before my own and pretty much have for most of my life.

Been bringing different knitting magazines to look at with my Grandmother. I have a collection now. I bought a few off ebay earlier this year. The most recent ones I bought a couple weeks ago. I'm currently knitting gloves. But I have a bunch of things to knit this month and next month. Because Christmas is approaching fast and I need enough time to make a few things. I'm making my son a star blanket. It's crocheted. Red and blue. Gotta finish a few other things as well. So I'll be busy with that for the next little while. And when winter comes around, everyone asks me to make them hats and mittens and stuff. Often I forget. I need to start making a list and checking it off. Also need to start making some slippers. Or socks. They take a lot longer than slippers though.

At the end of the month, I'm helping my friend move. So I'm getting out. I had stopped talking to most of my friends for at least a couple of weeks, if not longer. Because... Well doesn't really matter why I did. What matters now is that I do not need to prove my loyalty to just one person anymore. Some of my friends are actual, real friends who have been there for me through some times. I can't turn my back on people who have helped me.

In the past week I have learned a lot about myself. About some other people. About life. Some of the stuff was stuff I had already touched on, but needed to touch on again. I still have deeper to go. Months ago, I had started to soul search. That's what I was supposed to be doing on my trip, but I was already wrapped up in other things. Now, I can get back on track with those and other things. Just need a bit of inspiration, I guess. I'm re-building my self-confidence. A day at a time.

This Sunday, I'm going to my folks' for Thanksgiving Dinner. I missed my brother's birthday dinner because I had so much stuff on my mind. I forgot! I try hard not to forget stuff like that! I need constant reminders about stuff. Like a call the day of (an event) to tell me that I gotta get my butt over to (someplace) at (whatever time). Those types of calls are helpful. Especially for a scatter-brain like me. It's not that I didn't want to go. I always go. I usually remember. I felt bad about forgetting. I was thinking about the plans I was making. That didn't end up happening anyway.

I've been staying awake super late then waking up right around the time I gotta go to the hospital. So it's just been a wake up, get ready, and go type of thing. And having a night shift in the middle of the week is not the best for trying to sleep at night for the rest of the week. By the time I get back to sleeping nights, I gotta start all over again.

That's all I can think of to write about for tonight. I had some things I wanted to write about, but they have slipped my mind. My mind has been like swiss cheese. It's terrible. Bad memory.

Anyway....         HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY CANADIAN FRIENDS!!!