I've always had really vivid dreams. They seem so real. Even though they don't really make sense. It was another drinking dream, though. I dreamed that I drank a glass of wine. One glass and I got so wasted off that one glass that I could barely stand myself up. And I had to get down a street to where someone was waiting for me. I knew they'd be disappointed that I was really late. Time kept dragging on as I kept dragging myself down the street. A street where I used to live. I was visiting someone else, afterwards. Some guy I used to have a crush on. I think he knew I had a crush on him, only he never did anything about it. The only thing he did, was barely ever talk to me. We lived in the same building for 10 years. Still doesn't give me the time of day. I don't know why he was in my dream, but he was.
I hate the drinking dreams because in the dreams where I'm really drunk, I always end up disappointing someone. Even if I'm only disappointing myself. It seemed so real. I guess it's been creeping into my conscious mind more and more these days. Dreaming of this, constantly. It used to be way worse. The first month was pretty much every single night. I don't have them as often anymore, but I still have them.
I picked up my guitar tonight. Wanted to see if I still remembered how to play what little I know how to play. "Stand By Me" and "Black Velvet" just on the strings, not the chords. It is a start. I do remember some chords. I had made a promise to my uncle that I'd learn how to play the guitar when he gave me my father's guitar. I always intended to keep that promise. I don't know why so many years have gone by and I still don't know very much on the guitar. There are some tutorials on youtube on how to play songs, how to tune the guitar, etc. At least I know more than someone who doesn't know how to play anything on the guitar. Haha.
Been knitting more than anything. I have charity knitting to do this summer, for the guild, but haven't really been doing any of it since I have lots of projects on the go already. But, I still need to do some. I have such a huge stash of wool that it's ridiculous. Boxes full of wool. So I'm most likely never going to run out in my lifetime. Probably never going to be able to use it all either. And for some reason, I just keep acquiring more and more. I have wool in my room, and in my living room. I try to keep it contained but it spills out. Balls here and there. I'm using small balls for my blanket project. I worked on that last night and this morning. I don't know when it'll be finished. When it is finished, though, I would like to raffle it off and give the money to a charity. I've always wanted to raffle a blanket. If it goes well, I'll do it again next year. Or however long it takes to make another blanket. The blanket I'm making now is called the ten stitch blanket. It's ten stitches that joins to itself in a spiral type of pattern. Mine is going to be all kinds of different colors since I'm using up small balls or whatever I've got. There is a tutorial on youtube that helped me get started.
I started a project for myself a while ago. It's a practice piece. It's called the pinwheel sweater and it looks pretty neat, and easy. It's basically a huge circle with sleeves, the top of it doubles as a hood. I wanted to give it a try for a long time. It is originally a knitting pattern, but someone converted it to a crochet pattern. So I've been crocheting it. It looks like this. I've seen some different styles, that I like, but they look a bit too complicated for me. I try to stick to the simple things.
My fridge is about to die soon. I can tell because it's making an awful sound. I've had two other fridges die on me. I swear, every time they give me a replacement fridge, it's almost about to die, too. Thank goodness I don't have a lot of food in there because if it dies tonight, when I'm sleeping... I don't want to wake up tomorrow to rotting milk. It's pretty loud. I'll have to call the rental company pretty darn soon. Not much they can do on a weekend though.
I just got a call from one of my friends. He's coming back to Ottawa, to stay. He's been in Alberta for a while. He was dating someone who moved out there, so he was staying with her. I guess they broke up again. It's been an on and off again thing for some time now. I missed him. I was just thinking about him and then he called. It's weird when that happens. He knows the guy who was in my dream. Because he used to live in my building too. That's how we met. At first, I wasn't too sure about him. Just like this guy isn't so sure about me. His parents don't seem to have a problem with me. But he wants to keep it so that we're pretty much strangers. Probably has trust issues, like I do. Wouldn't be surprised. From what I know about him, from my friends, his lifestyle pretty much promotes keeping people at a distance. I'd be a different story if I were one of the guys though. It'd be different, for sure.
There was a guy in AA who I wanted to get to know. Just to have someone in the same boat to talk to. Not for any other reason. I knew he wouldn't give me his number so I offered mine. He said he couldn't take it because his sponsor told him not to take numbers from the opposite sex. Being a girl isn't all it's cut out to be. Like we can't be friends because I'm a chick? What kind of f*ckery is that? But it's true. It seems it's always an excuse to stay away from me. I dunno. That's life.
But, I'm happy he's coming back to Ottawa. I've missed him. We used to hang out at least once in a couple of weeks or whatever. He loves to dance and dancing isn't something I'm good at. Dancing to him, is like knitting to me. But to him, it's more than a hobby. It used to be his profession. He'd dance at hockey games and stuff. He's not shy in a crowd. I know I couldn't dance in front of a crowd, but it seems to give him more energy. That's what he did during the hockey games, got the crowd pumped up. So I'm excited! I get to see him again! And soon, he'll be back this weekend! He'll be staying with one of his sons. His son is a rapper. I'm not much for rap, but I like a few of his songs. I think his son is around my age. Here's one of the songs of his I like. You can see my neighborhood in the music video.
My fridge stopped making noise for a bit, now it's doing it again. Whatever. Hopefully get a replacement that will last a bit longer next time around. We'll see. Hopefully we'll get the other elevators working in a couple of weeks. It's going to be crazy for a while. Especially at the end of the month if anyone is going to be moving in or moving out. Imagine someone moving in and someone trying to move out at the same time with only one elevator working? That would be interesting. There's always something interesting going on. Oh, I forgot to tell you what they are using as an incentive to get people to take the stairs. They sent a notice out that they are going to be hiding $10 Tim Horton's gift cards in the stairwells until the elevators are working again. I know, it sounds funny. But that was in today's notice.
I hate the drinking dreams because in the dreams where I'm really drunk, I always end up disappointing someone. Even if I'm only disappointing myself. It seemed so real. I guess it's been creeping into my conscious mind more and more these days. Dreaming of this, constantly. It used to be way worse. The first month was pretty much every single night. I don't have them as often anymore, but I still have them.
I picked up my guitar tonight. Wanted to see if I still remembered how to play what little I know how to play. "Stand By Me" and "Black Velvet" just on the strings, not the chords. It is a start. I do remember some chords. I had made a promise to my uncle that I'd learn how to play the guitar when he gave me my father's guitar. I always intended to keep that promise. I don't know why so many years have gone by and I still don't know very much on the guitar. There are some tutorials on youtube on how to play songs, how to tune the guitar, etc. At least I know more than someone who doesn't know how to play anything on the guitar. Haha.
Been knitting more than anything. I have charity knitting to do this summer, for the guild, but haven't really been doing any of it since I have lots of projects on the go already. But, I still need to do some. I have such a huge stash of wool that it's ridiculous. Boxes full of wool. So I'm most likely never going to run out in my lifetime. Probably never going to be able to use it all either. And for some reason, I just keep acquiring more and more. I have wool in my room, and in my living room. I try to keep it contained but it spills out. Balls here and there. I'm using small balls for my blanket project. I worked on that last night and this morning. I don't know when it'll be finished. When it is finished, though, I would like to raffle it off and give the money to a charity. I've always wanted to raffle a blanket. If it goes well, I'll do it again next year. Or however long it takes to make another blanket. The blanket I'm making now is called the ten stitch blanket. It's ten stitches that joins to itself in a spiral type of pattern. Mine is going to be all kinds of different colors since I'm using up small balls or whatever I've got. There is a tutorial on youtube that helped me get started.
I started a project for myself a while ago. It's a practice piece. It's called the pinwheel sweater and it looks pretty neat, and easy. It's basically a huge circle with sleeves, the top of it doubles as a hood. I wanted to give it a try for a long time. It is originally a knitting pattern, but someone converted it to a crochet pattern. So I've been crocheting it. It looks like this. I've seen some different styles, that I like, but they look a bit too complicated for me. I try to stick to the simple things.
My fridge is about to die soon. I can tell because it's making an awful sound. I've had two other fridges die on me. I swear, every time they give me a replacement fridge, it's almost about to die, too. Thank goodness I don't have a lot of food in there because if it dies tonight, when I'm sleeping... I don't want to wake up tomorrow to rotting milk. It's pretty loud. I'll have to call the rental company pretty darn soon. Not much they can do on a weekend though.
I just got a call from one of my friends. He's coming back to Ottawa, to stay. He's been in Alberta for a while. He was dating someone who moved out there, so he was staying with her. I guess they broke up again. It's been an on and off again thing for some time now. I missed him. I was just thinking about him and then he called. It's weird when that happens. He knows the guy who was in my dream. Because he used to live in my building too. That's how we met. At first, I wasn't too sure about him. Just like this guy isn't so sure about me. His parents don't seem to have a problem with me. But he wants to keep it so that we're pretty much strangers. Probably has trust issues, like I do. Wouldn't be surprised. From what I know about him, from my friends, his lifestyle pretty much promotes keeping people at a distance. I'd be a different story if I were one of the guys though. It'd be different, for sure.
There was a guy in AA who I wanted to get to know. Just to have someone in the same boat to talk to. Not for any other reason. I knew he wouldn't give me his number so I offered mine. He said he couldn't take it because his sponsor told him not to take numbers from the opposite sex. Being a girl isn't all it's cut out to be. Like we can't be friends because I'm a chick? What kind of f*ckery is that? But it's true. It seems it's always an excuse to stay away from me. I dunno. That's life.
But, I'm happy he's coming back to Ottawa. I've missed him. We used to hang out at least once in a couple of weeks or whatever. He loves to dance and dancing isn't something I'm good at. Dancing to him, is like knitting to me. But to him, it's more than a hobby. It used to be his profession. He'd dance at hockey games and stuff. He's not shy in a crowd. I know I couldn't dance in front of a crowd, but it seems to give him more energy. That's what he did during the hockey games, got the crowd pumped up. So I'm excited! I get to see him again! And soon, he'll be back this weekend! He'll be staying with one of his sons. His son is a rapper. I'm not much for rap, but I like a few of his songs. I think his son is around my age. Here's one of the songs of his I like. You can see my neighborhood in the music video.
My fridge stopped making noise for a bit, now it's doing it again. Whatever. Hopefully get a replacement that will last a bit longer next time around. We'll see. Hopefully we'll get the other elevators working in a couple of weeks. It's going to be crazy for a while. Especially at the end of the month if anyone is going to be moving in or moving out. Imagine someone moving in and someone trying to move out at the same time with only one elevator working? That would be interesting. There's always something interesting going on. Oh, I forgot to tell you what they are using as an incentive to get people to take the stairs. They sent a notice out that they are going to be hiding $10 Tim Horton's gift cards in the stairwells until the elevators are working again. I know, it sounds funny. But that was in today's notice.
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