I can't believe I stayed up all night long watching "I Wanna Marry Harry." But.... I did. Such is my life.
I, for one, wouldn't want to be on a show like that. I usually hate these types of shows like The Bachelor. Girls get hurt all the time and they have to compete and really put themselves out there to 'stand out.' I'd be the first girl to get kicked out.
Anyway, if you've never heard of the show before, it's like 'The Bachelor' where there's one guy who has to choose between a dozen girls who are competing to be the chosen one.
But.... This has a twist to it. You see.... This bachelor is pretending to be Prince Harry. That's the whole reason I started watching the show. I was curious how it would turn out. How they'd react to being lied to. And falling for someone who they think is someone else. Royalty to top it off.
He really does look a lot like Prince Harry. It's pretty uncanny, honestly. They could pass for twins. Except this guy is younger, so that wouldn't work.
Anyway... It's interesting at least.
My Great Grandfather was born in England and his name was Henry, which is what Harry is short for. Well, I guess Harry could be short for Harold, too.
I like reality shows sometimes. It's a switch from all the scripted shows. I liked watching Beauty and the Geek. That's an awesome show. A lot of those girls on Beauty and the Geek start the show off being very shallow and things. Then, they get to know the guys and realize that they are more than just a 'geek'. I like that part the most. I like seeing someone win who I had rooted for for the whole show. And I'm happy to see the ones who aren't there for the right reasons, leave.
I have a lot on my mind tonight. I'm feeling better, but thinking more and more. I think the anti depressants are working. Not sure about the anxiety medication. I don't think it's helping. In fact, I think it might be making things worse for me. I'll have to talk to my doctor about that. I did before, but I thought I'd give it more of a chance than I did when I first started taking it. Maybe it's just not the right medication for me. These types of medications only work for a percentage of the people who take them. I forget what the percentage I was given is, but it's a lot less than 50%. More like 30%. That's not such a great percentage. It's great for those who it helps, but not so great for those who have to keep trying new medications until they do find something that works.
Also, been thinking about yesterday. Someone was leaving the parking lot when I was getting back home and they waved to me. For the life of me, I really have no idea who he is. Obviously a neighbor, since we live in the same building. Why would he be waving to me? Did he think I was someone else? Who is he?
I need to start making a plan. I need a grand plan and a bunch of smaller plans that will help me achieve the grand plan as I go along. It kind of feels like I should already have a plan, and I probably should. Especially at my age. I don't know what I've been waiting for. Why I haven't made one. Maybe I just don't know what I want. It's okay to not know. Lots of people don't know what they want. But I know that it does start there. I just feel like wanting things, anything, is selfish. I've always felt that way. Maybe this is why I have yet to move forward.
I took a long walk last night, after I got something to eat. I walked down to the beach. The sun was setting and I was thinking that it'd be nice to have someone to share special moments like that with. Only I know that I'm not really ready to start dating since I'm trying to figure myself out, and build my life. I should have been doing this all along. I get some times where I feel like I'm ready, I still don't know what I'm doing, but still willing to try. Then there are times where I just lose all my faith and have to start all over again. So I'm starting all over again. The best thing I can do for myself is to just keep trying, try to think positively, be thankful for everything, and everyone I have in my life. Just keep learning as much as I can. Use my available resources as best as I can.
I know... Watching shows like these barely teaches anything. I need to be more productive than this. At least I got a lot of knitting done tonight.
I, for one, wouldn't want to be on a show like that. I usually hate these types of shows like The Bachelor. Girls get hurt all the time and they have to compete and really put themselves out there to 'stand out.' I'd be the first girl to get kicked out.
Anyway, if you've never heard of the show before, it's like 'The Bachelor' where there's one guy who has to choose between a dozen girls who are competing to be the chosen one.
But.... This has a twist to it. You see.... This bachelor is pretending to be Prince Harry. That's the whole reason I started watching the show. I was curious how it would turn out. How they'd react to being lied to. And falling for someone who they think is someone else. Royalty to top it off.
He really does look a lot like Prince Harry. It's pretty uncanny, honestly. They could pass for twins. Except this guy is younger, so that wouldn't work.
Anyway... It's interesting at least.
My Great Grandfather was born in England and his name was Henry, which is what Harry is short for. Well, I guess Harry could be short for Harold, too.
I like reality shows sometimes. It's a switch from all the scripted shows. I liked watching Beauty and the Geek. That's an awesome show. A lot of those girls on Beauty and the Geek start the show off being very shallow and things. Then, they get to know the guys and realize that they are more than just a 'geek'. I like that part the most. I like seeing someone win who I had rooted for for the whole show. And I'm happy to see the ones who aren't there for the right reasons, leave.
I have a lot on my mind tonight. I'm feeling better, but thinking more and more. I think the anti depressants are working. Not sure about the anxiety medication. I don't think it's helping. In fact, I think it might be making things worse for me. I'll have to talk to my doctor about that. I did before, but I thought I'd give it more of a chance than I did when I first started taking it. Maybe it's just not the right medication for me. These types of medications only work for a percentage of the people who take them. I forget what the percentage I was given is, but it's a lot less than 50%. More like 30%. That's not such a great percentage. It's great for those who it helps, but not so great for those who have to keep trying new medications until they do find something that works.
Also, been thinking about yesterday. Someone was leaving the parking lot when I was getting back home and they waved to me. For the life of me, I really have no idea who he is. Obviously a neighbor, since we live in the same building. Why would he be waving to me? Did he think I was someone else? Who is he?
I need to start making a plan. I need a grand plan and a bunch of smaller plans that will help me achieve the grand plan as I go along. It kind of feels like I should already have a plan, and I probably should. Especially at my age. I don't know what I've been waiting for. Why I haven't made one. Maybe I just don't know what I want. It's okay to not know. Lots of people don't know what they want. But I know that it does start there. I just feel like wanting things, anything, is selfish. I've always felt that way. Maybe this is why I have yet to move forward.
I took a long walk last night, after I got something to eat. I walked down to the beach. The sun was setting and I was thinking that it'd be nice to have someone to share special moments like that with. Only I know that I'm not really ready to start dating since I'm trying to figure myself out, and build my life. I should have been doing this all along. I get some times where I feel like I'm ready, I still don't know what I'm doing, but still willing to try. Then there are times where I just lose all my faith and have to start all over again. So I'm starting all over again. The best thing I can do for myself is to just keep trying, try to think positively, be thankful for everything, and everyone I have in my life. Just keep learning as much as I can. Use my available resources as best as I can.
I know... Watching shows like these barely teaches anything. I need to be more productive than this. At least I got a lot of knitting done tonight.
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