FEELING SO ALONE TONIGHT

I'm beginning to realize things I wish I didn't. Ignorance IS bliss in MANY ways. Like how I suggested my brother walk me to the train station and he made up excuses not to. I said that it's good to know that he wouldn't walk me to the train station. It is because it shows that he doesn't care about me. ANYONE (besides my Grandmother) in my family does NOT care about me. It is a fact. I don't know why I even bother with them since they could not be bothered with me!

I can't say I have much family left.... It is sad and true. I had a dream that my own mother pulled a knife on me... If this dream is expressing my subconscious beliefs about my family...  the message is not very good. One of the messed up things is that I know that other people don't have these kinds of dreams and their brothers WOULD WALK WITH THEM TO THE BUS/TRAIN STOP if it were raining or not. Would you (if you were a brother) want your last memory of being with your sister be "I don't want to walk you to the bus/train station"?!

So most of my friends couldn't be bothered with me and neither can my family.... It is sad that I can't seem to count on ANYBODY who I am SUPPOSED TO COUNT ON... FEELING SO ALONE TONIGHT....