I'm a Person

Maybe I do complain, but in my mind they are valid points. Just because I have a kid doesn't mean I'm dead to the world. And NO, I don't see my son as being a ball and chain. He is considered a miracle. I was once told that there was a possibility that I wouldn't be able to have children at all. Not that I was trying to get pregnant. Especially at 18.

But in my opinion, anyone who thinks of a child as a ball and chain and thinks a mother can't socialize simply because she is a mother should re-examine that thought. Or those thoughts. And anyone, in my opinion, who thinks that way isn't exactly someone I'd want to socialize with. A child is a person and I am also a person, who needs social contact as much as anyone else. I'm much more than a mother. I'm also an individual who needs independence as well as complete other aspects of my life.

I'm not complaining about my entire life. I'm just raising issues pertaining to my social life or lack thereof. I mean, I seem to be cool enough to hang out with Sean, Rawl, and Linda. Although it was the once. Rawl and Linda do come to Ottawa, but they don't live here. And Sean lives down the street from me, but he is busy, understandably. With work and other things. But I know he is close by and will talk to me, which is always nice to know. He doesn't hold the fact that I have a kid against me. He's met my son once when we ran into each other at the mall. It was six days before Halloween. Sean's most favorite holiday (not :P). I remember because my son really likes Halloween because I don't buy him much candy because kids don't need candy often. I refer to those confections as 'special treats' for special days. Anyway, he was singing: "Six more days 'till How-a-leen." That's how he says Halloween.

Anyway, my point is that being a parent doesn't make me dead to the world. I do have needs of my own and if I only focus on my son's needs and none of my own, then what kind of life would I be living? One of complete servitude. And isolation, co-dependence. And I don't think it would be fair to either of us. Besides, if I never learn to be a social person, how am I ever supposed to teach my son proper social skills? See where the problem starts?

Besides, I'm too young to be just lumped into that category of 'stay at home mom'. Those are for house wives who hang out with other house wives. I'm not a house wife. I might not ever be one.

But have I complained in the last few months about being single? No. I haven't because I realized that it's not really a bad thing. I don't have to feel guilty about certain things that always makes me feel guilty when I'm in a relationship. I constantly worry when I'm in a relationship that things will fall apart because they always do. And it is for that reason and many other reasons that I might never be a house wife.

Speaking of such.... I know a guy who, after five weeks of meeting a girl, asked her to marry him and they are getting married in the fall. AFTER 5 WEEKS! I dated a guy for 5 YEARS and couldn't get him to marry me. So what the hell did she do or say to get him to ask her to marry him in 5 weeks? But seriously, I think that's really pre-mature. That's only a little over a month.

But, I'm going to get ready for work and change my frame of mind before I get there. I don't want to get there feeling like crap. I want to get there feeling alright so that I don't feel like crap for the entire shift.