What Do I Really Want???

I've been thinking about what I really want out of life. I mean sometimes I think I want something, but it turns out that I don't really need it. O.k, for an example, I thought I needed a boyfriend and now that I have one who works outside the province, I seem to be happy except that I can't be with him. I made that sacrifice knowing that he has to be away and that he doesn't like it any more than I do.

Then all of a sudden guys who I've been interested in for the past couple of years decide they want me. I am flattered by the attention I wasn't getting from them before, but it doesn't seem to matter because I am with someone now.

I find it weird that I still look young enough to be in high school. Some people ask me if I'm still in high school. I tell them that I finished college and naturally they ask me what I took in college. When I tell them what I took, they ask me if I'm going to be a cop. I hate when they ask me that because I have to honestly tell them that I doubt it. I hate admitting that I'm not strong enough, that I'm not smart enough, and that I'll never have what it takes to become a cop. It's embarrassing to admit to all my weaknesses.