I look back on the things I have done in my life, the journey I took when I was 16, the crazy chances I took... I know that it could have been worse. I know that I could have died a few times. I am lucky to be alive. I know that I am crazy, but I had a few adventures which I will probably never forget. I know that I can be too trusting sometimes. I know that I have been in way too many dangerous situations. I have nobody else to blame for that. I had to go out on a limb and I'm not saying that anyone else should because I have done very stupid things in my life. That is one reason why I live a very dull life now. I have a routine. I get up, I get ready, and I take two buses to Centrepointe. Then I have been coming here to write, which will change next week because I will be working. After, I go back to Centrepointe, then I go home. Sometimes I go jogging, but mostly I just stay home. Yes, a very boring life. I pay bills, I pay rent, I pay for other expenses. I clean my apartment, I do laundry, I do all of those little things that everyone else does. Writing is one of my highlights. Having time for myself is one of my highlights. Other than that, I don't do much. I am bored when I'm not doing anything exciting. I am bored when I don't go out and do something. People tell me that I should date, but that is difficult for me. I am not the kind of girl who gets dates. I couldn't say why. If I knew, I would be getting dates. I have a profile on an online dating site, but I never get any responses. I guess that doesn't or shouldn't matter. I have to look at it like they are not good enough for me, not that I am not good enough for them. They are missing out. I am a good person. I am really getting my life together. When I am working, I won't have to think about any of that. I will remain focused on my tasks. I will feel better because I will be doing something that I know I can do. Anyway, I must go home and get some stuff done. If I don't get it done, nobody else will. It won't get done by itself. Although, that would be great. I don't really have any motivation to get all that stuff done, but it has to be done. I can at least get it started. If I don't get it done before I have to come back here, then I will just have to do it later.Have a good day everybody. I will try to have a good day too.
Take care of yourselves, and each other.
5 comments:
These are the everyday routines of life.
Try being a parent! Then it becomes even more chaotic. You never sleep in. You are constantly on the move.
But you have PURPOSE!
I know exactly what you're going through, I've been through it myself. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and makes us the people we are, it just helps to be an optimist :D
For sure, it can be easier to look on the bright side when you have seen what could have happened. I do think things happen for a reason, although, we often don't know why until it has already happened.
Some of your posts remind me of some of my poems. I wrote most of them when I was going through a rough period in life. It's so much easier to write sad poems.
http://hakxpoetry.blogspot.com/
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