I want to impliment a plan, but to impliment one, means that I have to have a plan to impliment. I want to go back to school. I want to take the photography course. I don't know if I should because that means taking out another loan. They might not let me take out another loan. I should be paying back what I have already borrowed.
One word to sum up how I feel today is "SIGH". I don't know where I'm going in my life and I still have not found what I'm looking for. I might never find what I'm looking for. I just want to find someone that I can talk to openly and honestly. I know that I do this here, but there is stuff that I have to leave out because I don't think anyone really understands.
I have a hard time meeting guys so I tried a stupid online dating site and guys I find in the chat rooms have their typical expectations of girls. They always want to meet before they even know me. What is wrong with talking? What is wrong with friendship first? Why can't I 'connect' on some level with anyone? Why do I feel like this? I feel like I should be 'with' someone to be happy. Sometimes I am miserable because I feel like I'm 'with' the wrong person. Being alone has always been a scary thing for me. I have never learned how to be 'with' myself.
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