Was I Supposed To Lose Sleep Over It?

I know that there are reasons people do their sh*t.
Was I DISAPPOINTED?
FK YEAH! I WAS DISAPPOINTED!

DID I EXPECT MUCH? NO?
BUT I EXPECTED BETTER THAN THAT SH*T!

Wouldn't it be cool if they UNDERSTOOD ME?
THE FIRST FKN TIME?

YEARS AGO?

UNDERSTOOD WHY BS MIGHT P*SS ME OFF?
UNDERSTOOD WHY..... IT WAS FKN UNFAIR?

AND WHY.... THEY COULD HAVE....
JUST BEEN FKN FAIR?????

JUST THAT?

BUT.... I CAN'T EXPECT THAT....
FROM ANYONE....

OBVIOUSLY.

FROM NONE OF THE DUDES I EVER DEALT WITH.

PUSHED INTO FKING OFF.
RIGHT OFF.

AND BETTER FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!
WAY BETTER FOR IT!!!!!!

AND THEY PUSH ME TO THE POINT
THAT I DON'T WANT TO FKN DEAL WITH THEM ANYMORE....
AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH ME FKING OFF
BECAUSE OF THAT?

AND TRY TO "HURT" ME? FOR THAT?

WTF IS THAT SH*T????

AND GIVING ME "EXCUSES" FOR THEIR SH*T....
IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME WANT TO "COME BACK"?????

WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT????

TRIED ME TOO MANY TIMES.

TRYING ME 12 YEARS LATER IS FKN WILD THOUGH.

WAS I SUPPOSED TO "WALLOW" IN IT FOR 12 YEARS?

MAYBE I WROTE ABOUT IT 12 YEARS AGO.....
I PROBABLY DID!!!!!!

BUT AFTER THAT..... DID I?
UNTIL HE TRIED ME AGAIN?

LIKE I WAS GOING TO TRY TO "FIX" IT?
IT WASN'T MINE TO FIX!!!!!!!!!!

SO WHY WOULD I WANT TO?

THOUGHT HE COULD JUST "RETURN"????
AFTER 12 YEARS?
AFTER DISCARDING ME?
TO PLAY HEAD GAMES?

FOR MORE EXCUSES?

AND THOUGHT I WOULD HOLD THE DOOR WIDE OPEN?
INSTEAD OF LETTING HIM SLAM IT IN HIS FACE AGAIN?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE DID! AGAIN!
SO???? I SHOULDN'T JUST LET HIM?

AND JUST FK RIGHT OFF?

WHY BE MAD AT ME FOR FKING OFF?
FOR BEING FKN DISGUSTED?

HE HAS THE "BALLS" TO TRY ME AGAIN....
BUT DOESN'T HAVE THE "BALLS" TO STEP UP.

NONE OF THEM DO.

FKN SAD IS WHAT IT IS....
DISAPPOINTING???? YES.

INFURIATING??? YEAH.
UNFAIR? YEAH.

BUT..... I'M SUPPOSED TO LOSE SLEEP OVER IT?
CRY ABOUT IT?

THEY ONLY SEE THINGS IN WHATEVER WAY "SUITS" THEM.
NOT HOW THINGS ACTUALLY ARE!!!!!

WHY BE UPSET THAT I WOULD ACCEPT EXCUSES?
THAT I WON'T ACCEPT CERTAIN THINGS?
THAT I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO?

WON'T ADMIT THAT THEY EVEN TRIED TO
ASSASSINATE MY CHARACTER!

BUT.... IS MY "REPUTATION" IMPORTANT TO ME?
IS EVERYONE "KNOWING THE TRUTH" IMPORTANT TO ME?

OR IS BEING AWAY FROM PEOPLE 
WHO'D DO ANY OF THAT SH*T....
MORE IMPORTANT TO ME?

THEY HAD THEIR CHANCE.... TO DO BETTER!!!!!!!!
FOR ME!
AND BE BETTER TO ME!!!!!!

BUT DID THEY? 
WHAT DID THEY DO WITH THAT CHANCE?

AND IF HE'S BEEN TRYING TO HANG OUT....
IN MY OLD NEIGHBORHOOD....
THINKING HE MIGHT RUN INTO ME....
I DON'T FKN LIVE THERE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

If they want to DEFEND their BS..... INSTEAD....
OR DOING AND BEING BETTER.... THAN THAT....

WHAT DO THEY EXPECT ME TO DO????

BEG THEM TO DO BETTER?????
BEG THEM TO WANT TO DO BETTER????

FK NO.

DIDN'T I HAVE TO "DECIDE" FOR MYSELF?

WASN'T THAT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO?

SO WHY BE MAD AT ME FOR THAT?

IF THEY DIDN'T "UNDERSTAND" WHAT THEY HAD WITH ME...
AND THREW IT AWAY....

THEN WHY AM I SUPPOSED TO WANT TO BE THERE?
OR "LOSE SLEEP" OVER NOT BEING THERE?