Just Say It

I can understand if someone is UNSURE. SAY IT.
Have I been UNSURE? YES!
Have I been quick to judge? Yes.

But.... I've had fingers pointed at me
that should have been pointed
AT THEMSELVES!

IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME, 
WHAT FKN FINGERS 
DO YOU HAVE TO POINT AT ME?
ANY?

OR DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE SOMETHING UP?
A REASON TO "HATE" ME?

OR RUN WITH ANY "REASON"
GIVEN TO YOU BY ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ANYONE CAN SAY FKN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT BELIEVE ALL THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you do, stand on that! 
Didn't ask me about it, right?

Assumed lies were true, right?

Imagine getting LIED ABOUT
AND PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING LIED TO.....
ABOUT YOU....
BELIEVING IT.....
AND TREATING YOU LIKE CRAP!

The last time, though.....
It's like "why can't anyone REALLY see me?"
Because if they could, WOULD THEY TREAT ME LIKE THAT?

WOULD THEY?

HOW CAN THEY BE LIKE: "YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON
AND THEN.... BE LIKE THAT?"

KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO BE LIKE: 
"YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON"
YET YOU'D DO ME LIKE THAT?
AND KEEP DOING ME LIKE THAT?

AND WHEN I THINK:
THE NEXT GUY....
WON'T DO THE SAME FKN THING....
BUT.... YET.... THEY FKN DO!

SO WHY BOTHER?

FKN STINGS, BUT IT'S MORE THE FKN POTENTIAL
THAT I GRIEVE MORE THAN ANYTHING.

BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S FKN THERE!

MAKES IT FKN STING!

BUT JUST BECAUSE THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE, 
DOESN'T MEAN IT WAS GOING TO EVER....
BE FKN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't expect anything to be fkn anything....
ESPECIALLY THESE FKN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT WISHFUL THINKING IS ON MY END.
I'M AT FAULT FOR THAT.

EVEN IF I'M ONLY THINKING:
"MAYBE HE WILL SEE ME! FOR ME!"
"MAYBE THIS WILL BE FKN MUTUAL!!!!!!!!!!!"
FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HOPED!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!! BUT????????
SHOULD I ANYMORE?

Wishing and hoping is fkn EXHAUSTING! 
WHY DO IT? 

JUST BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I'D HOPE FOR?
JUST BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I'D WISH FOR?

JUST BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO DAMN LONG
SINCE I WAS ALLOWED TO FKN HOPE?
FOR ANYTHING?
REAL?

FFS?

PATIENCE DOES NOT = PROMISES! 

BEING A "GOOD PERSON" MEANS WHAT?
IF "GOOD PEOPLE" DON'T GET TO EVER FKN WANT ANYTHING?
EVEN BASIC FKN HONESTY?
CLARITY?
FKN ANYTHING?
FK!

IF I WANTED BS, WOULD I GET THAT?
SINCE I CAN'T GET WHAT I "WANT"?

Like.... Is the reason I'm getting BS because
I DON'T WANT THIS SH*T?

If that is the reason.... Y'know?

But sometimes a person gets TIRED
OF CARING THIS MUCH FKN PAIN.

CAN I TAKE MORE?
BECAUSE I FEEL MORE ON THE HORIZON FFS.

WHY HOPE?

JUST HOPE IT WON'T HURT SO BAD....
BUT IT WILL STING AT THE VERY LEAST.... RIGHT?