Yamsature

Welp, the yam things didn't turn out the way I'd hoped. 
But everything went well and I finished the 70s thing.
IT'S GONE! NEVER HAVE TO SEE IT AGAIN!

It was nice, it was somewhat festive, and the food was good. 
We had some laughs. 

And we talked about our projects and stuff like that.

I'm going to see about getting some navy wool, 
to do a border on the squares I made.

I was thinking either grey or navy blue.
Someone said navy blue would be better than the grey.

Some people spell it grey and some spell it gray. 
I don't really think it matters
and I don't know the difference.

Anyway, so I'm getting some of that
and then I can work on that.

I have a bunch of other stuff, too. 

I'm one of the "square joiners" in the group. 
Joining the squares doesn't take as long as making them. 

Just the sewing after the joining is a PITA
Pain In The Ass.

The 70s thing, I'm glad that's done.
And don't have to see it again. 

I have quite a lot of the beige wool left.

Speaking of keeping things....
I kept a covid kit thing
that they were giving away for free
during the pandemic. 


Supposedly they are harder and harder to find.
Someone was saying they're going for $50.

That's what happens when you hold onto stuff.
IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO FIND.
THEN BOOM! YOU HAVE ONE
BECAUSE YOU HELD ONTO IT.

I've got some stuff to sell, but I need help to sell it.
Something to do for next year.

I need a "business" partner. To help me sell stuff. 
I find all kinds of stuff. Everywhere.
Shoes, jackets, books etc.

I can't take pictures with my phone anymore.
Hard to sell stuff with no pictures of it.

Anyway, just a bunch of stuff
to move the heck out of here. 

There are "free" groups where the stuff is free.
Those are good groups if you've got stuff
you just need for it to be somewhere else.


A lady in my group was saying that her ex husband
got together with his karma in persona lol. 

All the things and reasons she's "a piece of work."

Someone once told me: "you have to know what you want
OR YOU'LL GO FROM PILLAR TO POST."

The guy who married my ex's aunt lol. 

And my ex didn't want to go to the wedding
BECAUSE HIS SISTER HAD INVITED ME.
AS HER DATE.

Anyway, that guy was a geophysicist who worked for
one of the biggest if not the biggest diamond company.

I didn't know that when I met him. 
All I knew was he traveled for work. 

He had invited me to visit him in another city.
Where he lived. 
HE DIDN'T TELL HIS MOTHER I WAS COMING
OR WHO I WAS OR ANYTHING.

SO I MET HIS MOM WHO WAS CONFUSED
ABOUT WHO I EVEN WAS OR WHY I WAS THERE.

IT WAS SO F*CKING AWKWARD.
LIKE YOU COULDN'T TELL YOUR MOM I WAS COMING?

His excuse was that if he had told her
she'd find stuff for us to do and have it all planned
instead of us making our own plans. 

Anyway, pretty sure he was seeing other girls
while he had time off work.

Like when he was in Mexico posting a girl
he met there. Stuff like that.


But he was a jerk and I'd be surprised if anything changed. 

Back when I was interested in dating, 
I wasn't very happy in general. 

And if you're unhappy with someone who is also unhappy, 
you'll just be unhappy together.

And a lot of the time it felt like guys have too high
of expectations for females.

Like for them to look like these chicks with the fake eyelashes etc.
The nails, makeup or whatever. 

I'm not that kind of a girl. 
The makeup stuff, sure it works, 
but the experiences I've had with creepy guys
DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO WEAR IT
OR DRESS LIKE A GIRL SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO
WITHOUT THE BS ATTACHED TO IT.

I'd rather a dude have to look at me twice 
due to how I dress...

THAN TO F*CKING FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH UNWANTED ATTENTION. 

I still get unwanted attention, without makeup.
I'd just rather not go there. 

The one dude who followed me into the building
where I had an appointment
LIED TO THEM SAYING HE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
HE WAS JUST WAITING FOR ME.

BECAUSE AS SOON AS I WAS LEAVING, 
HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME.
FOLLOWING ME AGAIN. 

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR APPOINTMENT DUDE?

BUT I HEARD HIM TELL THE LADY
BECAUSE THEY WERE ASKING HIM
BECAUSE IT SEEMED WEIRD TO THEM, TOO. 

ALL I COULD THINK TO DO WAS JUST
TELL THE GUY STRAIGHT UP "NO."
AND KEPT PUTTING DISTANCE
BETWEEN HIM AND I
UNTIL HE DECIDED TO STOP, I GUESS.


But that one, one of the top three instances
where I said to myself:
I DON'T WANT ATTENTION LIKE THIS.
IT FEELS "WRONG"
AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

So I don't dress like a typical female. 
I don't try to look like one. 
I'm not the typical-looking female
that guys are weirdly attracted to.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THOSE
TYPICAL FEMALE TYPES OF THINGS
ARE EVEN ATTRACTIVE AT ALL.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY SO MANY FEMALES
ARE LIKE: "I'M A FEMALE, SO I HAVE TO DO 
THESE TYPICAL FEMALE THINGS...

TO FIT A STEREOTYPE? OR?
I don't get it and not even sure if I want to get it,
because it's just, why?

Did you ever hear about that white powder they used to use?
A long time ago... 
It had arsenic in it.

Someone was saying that Van G'oh...
The guy who chopped his ear off...

That he was sharpening the tip of his brush
in his mouth. And the paint he used
had mercury in it
so they figured that's why he went "crazy."

Because one of the ladies was commenting
on the wide eye of the needle I have.
Another lady gave it to me.

It's just what I needed for the PITA ends. 

She said it's easier to thread through with the wide eye.
Which it is, very. 

Better than having to sharpen the end with your mouth
to try to get it through the eye of the needle. 

That's what sparked that. 

They talk about their vacations, 
and their plans for Christmas.

Christmas had hit me hard for a long time.
Now it's just... Is what it is.

My mom gets us a joint for Christmas.
In a card. "Merry Christmas, here's a joint."

The kids upstairs is why I can't record anything here lol. 
I'd always have some screaming in the background. 

Peace n' Quiet's outside if it's not too cold. 
And when the day is over, it's over.
All the hype etc is over with. 

Then the throngs of shoppers wanting those boxing week sales.
The mall's been insane.
I went over once, and the first 3 levels of parking were full. 

They have signs that have some sort of way of knowing if the lot is full
and the sign will say how many spaces are left.

Which is pretty cool. 

People were getting mad driving around looking for parking, I guess.
And it's the biggest on this side of the city.

Kanata doesn't have a mall, yet. 
There's a big strip mall thing, 
but I'm talking about indoor malls. 

Speaking of indoor malls, the biggest in Canada
is the West Edmonton Mall. 

The mall is still insane after Christmas. 
Starts to let up, the second week of January.

Someone told me, in the elevator, that next week's
going to be around -12C. 

WHICH COULD BE LOWER
IF THERE'S WIND.

I was just thinking that maybe storms
can travel up and down waterways
because there's no resistance.

Like how storms would keep going
if the land wasn't there to be "in the path"

Well, with that momentum just takes them through
no matter what's in the path.

Remember "Twister"?
My first movie date, was "Twister."

The year it came out was my first movie date.

I have that book from the library to read.
"Blackout"

It's about a storm. 

I remember seeing something about how a jail
was left abandoned with prisoners still inside
during a hurricane.

They had to fend for themselves etc.

I forget what it was called. It was wild. 

I was just thinking about up or down the water ways, 
because the area that got hit pretty badly was around
Meadowlands area. Close-ish to that beach, 
and that water that goes to the rapids and flows that way.
Called Hog's Back. 

My father used to take me there
when I was a kid. 
First time I'd seen a robin's egg's shell, 
and I never knew they were blue
so I was surprised and thought that was cool. 


There was another video I saw where a guy's working
at some fish place doing stuff with fish
and one of the fish has a huge mouth
and dude actually stuck his head in the fish's mouth.

The fish closed its mouth on the guy's head.

Oh! I have to mention this one:
There was a little kid's party
and they were playing musical chairs.
5 or 6 girls, one boy. 

And the boy was going to win
because he got to the chair first, 
but saw the girl was sad that she would have lost
so the boy escorted her to the last chair.
So she could stay in the game.

The girls wanted him to join them lol. 
Ladies man at the age of 6 lol. 

Anyway, definitely worth a mention. 

Then I'm going to install WordPress on that domain.
And start the first page, the landing page.
It's a dog site, so I'm going to add external links
and possibly set up some sort of "dog blog."
It's just for kicks, nothing serious and for someone else
who came up with the name and that stuff. 
I'm just putting it on my hosting. 

Which would be good to save money, 
but if they had their own hosting
if anything happened to mine, 
they'll still have theirs. 

So yeah, something to do. 
I found code that will make the buttons look like bones.

A lot of people were saying to use an image and make the image into a link.
Which you can do. 

That's what I'm planning to do with the ads I made.
Making those ads into links that go to the affiliate offer.

For buttons, I like HTML and css.
What if the image doesn't appear?
For whatever reason?
The HTML would. 

Even if the very few things you can do well, 
you get good at those things you can do well, 
you can take yourself places.

There's a saying, something like:
Know the rules like a pro
so you can break them like an artist.

That just made me think of something recently...

That "Suitcase" one. She had the guy in the suitcase
saying he couldn't breathe
begging to be let out
and she didn't let him out.
He died in there.

I think that she didn't think leaving him in there
would result in his death.

That it was still homicide, but she didn't intend
for him to die in there.

Anyway, I'm bringing it up because she got to read
her own statement, "edited version" where she
just talked about herself and she had said something
about the tradition of filling the cracks in something with gold. 

I don't know why, but I couldn't listen to the rest of it.

The P.Diddy thing, haven't been following it. 
Supposedly there are more to be "exposed."
Been watching the government implode. 

It seems like every HOC meeting, it's like a farce
and they just try to mislead Canadians
by saying they're doing "good things."
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT THE BAD THINGS?

OVER 27K OVERDOSES IN CANADA.

Can't control what people do to themselves.
But other countries don't have these issues, period. 
A reason why we do?

But something wrong when pot's not enough.

Oh! And a video where a chick was driving 
like it was an ordinary day, but only 3 wheels, 
tire completely gone on the front right.

A couple of guys finally get her to pull over, 
after she smashes into someone.

Ever seen the show Canada's Worst Driver?
If I drove, I'd probably be the worst of the worst.

And there are people who accidentally cause a crash
and people die from it, 
they go to jail for it.

I remember seeing something about a truck driver, 
it was at his sentencing where he was getting his sentence
for being the driver of the truck involved
that caused the deaths of at least 2 people. 

It wasn't the guy's fault. Something happened to the truck
while he was driving it, 
but they said he was still responsible
because the drivers have the responsibility 
of making sure their trucks are safe to drive.

So stuff like that, that is a weight I'd rather 1zillion% avoid.
BY NOT DRIVING.

A huge weight off me.


Did I tell you about the time after the concert?
The guy freaking out on my friend
FOR JUST MISSING THE TURN OFF
AND HAD TO TURN AROUND TWICE.
NO BIG DEAL, EH?

He made it into a big deal. 
Guys fighting in the front, not physical...
And I'm in the back knowing that it only takes
a split f*cking second to crash.

I told them to stfu because I don't want to
be in a crash because they were fighting.


So anyway, I was talking about the guilt.
Of being a driver that causes an accident.

One video I saw of a drunk chick, oblivious to the fact
that she'd been in a wreck that killed two people.

More concerned about going to school the next day.
THAN THE TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE DEAD.
BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO DRINK AND DRIVE.

THE WAY SHE WAS ACTING WAS JUST...
INSANE. CONSIDERING THE SITUATION.
AS THOUGH SHE HADN'T DONE
ANYTHING WRONG.

Oblivious.

And there was another I saw...
It was on a crime show where they were talking about it.

A chick was in a car with two dudes.
One was her bf and the other guy was his friend.

Anyway, she deliberately drove
the car into the building, the dudes both died.


We talked about how sometimes people confuse the gas for the breaks.

Because a lady told us that someone drove into the Farmboy.

Haven't heard anything about it and she didn't have any info
other than someone drove through the front doors
and the firefighters had to come with an extractor tool thing.

One time, I had just got to my folks' place
and there were fire trucks so I was wtf happened?
From their window, I could see them extinguishing a burning car.

Someone had flicked a cigarette butt off their balcony
and it went into the guy's car via his open sun roof.
Car totally wrecked.

Talk about having a bad day, eh?
Hope he didn't have valuables in his car, too. 
They'd be gone, too. 

His car and whatever was in it.

Nothing new, really, other than I'm glad
that 70s thing is gone, now.

So that's that and we had a table full of donations.
We have our business "stuff" "meeting stuff"
then we look at the work brought in to be donated. 
We eat, and drink tea, and talk, and laugh. 

And knit and crochet.

So I'm going to be getting more squares.
I have the ones I made, some white and brown and beige ones.
It's a variagated yarn also with the Eaton's label. 

Never know what's worth money.
Covid test kits are worth $50 now supposedly. 

For something they were giving away. 

Those overdose kits, still can't believe
there's a need for an anti overdose kit in Canada.
WTF is happening to this country?

Eaton's labels? Are they worth anything?
What if there was something happening, 
internally to everyone who got the "jab"?

Not saying there is, but asking what if there was?

There's a scene where a guy's waking up in a hospital
and he's the only one in the hospital, 
and everywhere and everything's deserted.

I forget if that how The Walking Dead started, 
or if it's a movie I'm thinking about called Three Days Later
or something like that. 

I keep thinking back to that scene, trying to imagine
what that'd be like.

A lot of people really got into The Walking Dead.
And a lot of fans of the Game of Thrones.

One of my friends used to invite me over
to watch it with him, but I couldn't get into it
plus I wasn't watching every single one
to know what was going on in the story line
so he tried his best to explain it to me.
I mean, I watched it with him, but it wasn't my thing. 

One of the best shows is Quantum Leap.

A lot of "older shows"
and if you watch the price is right
from the 70s, you have to try to guess
how much it cost back then lol. 

Oh! There was a doc about a guy who 
knew all the prices to all of it. 
I forget his name, they did a doc on the guy.


I was talking about the clapper to a lady in the group. 
They use They and Them pronouns m'k?

So I was talking to THEM about the clapper
and THEY said what about the on and off 
would it go off with any noise?

Then I said that it'd be funny if it goes on and off
if a dog's barking lol. 

I made a joke about the plugin things.
They are these things that plug into the wall
and it releases a scent or whatever.

The jingle is: Plug it in! Plug it in!

And about the PITA ends I was sewing in. 
I was saying "Snip it off! Snip it off!"

She's not from my time lol. 
I'm not from the other ladies' times either.

They are mostly older, 
but old enough to be my mother. 

They are married and retired.

Thankfully they haven't asked me
anything much about me.

I like it that way.
I just show up and participate.

And now there's a new group for Kanata.
The lady next to me helped sew the ends in.
She's really nice. 

She'll be in the other group. 
She'll be leading it. 
I really like her.
I'll miss her of the ones 
who'll be in the new group

but we made it fair that we'd keep
people together based on their area.

So it wouldn't be far for anyone
to get to their meeting.

I wonder how much more effective AA and NA
can be if there were added elements on it.

Like go through the "program" but after the program
you start a new "program"

The reason AA doesn't work on some people
is some talk about God. 

From my experience, I only got to Step 5,
but I've been sober for 10 years now.

But a lot I've struggled with while going through 
the first stages of whatever tf they call it...

First 3 months are the hardest.
Because you're left with all kinds of emotions
WHEN YOU TAKE AWAY
YOUR EMOTIONAL CRUTCH.

AND YOU DON'T KNOW WTF TO DO WITH THEM.
A LOT OF THEM, AT ONCE, 
GETS OVERWHELMING
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH THEM.

That's why writing's been impotant, for me, 
to put my feelings and experiences into words
instead of holding too much inside.

Sometimes I feel like I need to get some things
off my chest. Things still get to me sometimes.
Probably because BS still p*sses me off. 

And who's ever been listening to me?
It feels like I'm part of the background noise.

Nothing wrong with that.
Actualy, I prefer it to some experiences I've had.
Probably lucky I'm still alive.
To tell the tales lol. 

Anyway, the first 3 months or so of sobriety
are the harest because you have to
kinda sit there, with yourself and your feelings
without trying to "numb" anything
by getting drunk or high, or both. 

And a lot of people have to be ready to stick with yes or no.
Simple as yes I'm going to keep drinking
and f*cking up my life, 
or no, I'm going to stop drinking
and occassionally f*ck up my life lol.

But I was watching something today about goat milk. 
They gave it to people to help cure alcoholism. 
Maybe the nutrients in it, I don't know. 

Because you can get really sick if you just stop drinking
cold turkey, you could get sick. 
They were giving them goat milk
and said it reduced that, by a lot. 

People don't talk about that stuff enough.
The benefits of goat milk. 
Why do we mostly drink cow milk?

Goat milk defiitely tastes different than cow milk. 
Also, the cheese made with goat milk is creamier. 

Feta cheese made with goat milk, that's the best.

Anyway, I think I'll try to sleep early tonight.
Then maybe wake up earlier.

Also, I have that book to read.