Being Back

Sometimes we need to see some things to remind us
of how good we actually have it.... 

I went back to the psych ward over the holidays.... 
Not saying it to broadcast it... 
Just seen some sad realities that....
Made me appreciate some things a lot more... 

A couple of permanent residents remind me
that at least I have my faculties... 

One is about the mentality of about 3 or so, 
One is the mentality of about 7 or 8.... 

They are stuck in older bodies, but it seems like their brains
have gotten stuck at the development that they got to... 
And here I am feeling sorry for myself
because of the things I fucked up by acting stupidly... 

Someone in there told me this:
"There's a difference between being smart and acting smart."
Basically, we can be smart, but still act stupidly... 
And that's been the story of my life. 
Like, I can do and be better, but I don't. 
And the only reason why is not thinking.... 

Anyway... A lot to practice.... 
Changing your ways isn't easy.... 
Especially when you have stupid habits that refuse to die.... 

...................

Beyond that, I did some reiki stuff in the hospital to a few people. 
One was having heart problems and he said I "fixed" him. 
He wouldn't let me continue, so the energy got stuck
before I could pull it out... 
I told him about the time that my buddy was fighting to not get an erection
because the energy got to that "area" and I did tell him
because you have to warn about that... 
Because it feels weird. 
Especially if they've never felt that before.... 

He was saying, you know when you told me about 'that'?
How do you make it stop? I have a girlfriend. 
I said "I know, you told me." 
I said "push the energy down into your legs, and out your feet."
Which I would have done for him if he had let me continue.... 
I have to tell them it's not sexual at all, that it's just energy passing thru...

The two other guys... They had ringing and buzzing in their ears
and they said it stopped when I did it... 

One guy said it eased his nerve damage in his legs.

A guy had a surgery, he said it helped... 
He said he is going for another one... 

A friend of mine told me her husband has prostate cancer.... 
She's been driving him to the hospital and stuff....
The guy I did reiki for had a kidney removed... 
He felt it... I sense some things when I do it. 
I sensed a cavity where some parts have been removed.... 
From his surgery. 

In the guy who was having heart problems... 
I told him that he needed to quit smoking, 
and I told him his heart issue was to do with a valve
which is what I sensed when I was doing the reiki... 

..... To be continued ....