Thinking Too Much

Was talking to someone on the RCS tonight.
He had some good points.

He says that all my introspection isn't healthy
and that it prevents me from being happy.

And even went as far as calling it mental obsession.

The thing is, I'm alone here with my thoughts.
Yes, I overthink things.
It's not that I am obsessed with my own thoughts.
It's that I have to think about things, like deep in thought
to understand things and make some sense of things
that I am having a hard time understanding
or making sense of because there are things that don't make sense to me.
Because obviously, I don't think like others do
and they don't think like I do.
Because everyone thinks differently.

Sometimes I think the migraines I get are from those 'things.'
They have a human form, but no features.
I don't see them often. They are like shadows.
I only saw one once, actually, but I sense when they are around.
Because I get bad migraines.
But sometimes I think that I generate the migraines
by thinking too much.

And the guy was alluding to me that thinking too much
is a mental obsession.
And that it isn't healthy.

And no, I don't want to mentally obsess over anything.
I just always live in my own head.

Not that I think that my thoughts are important
but apparently I write a lot about what I think
and how I think and it is to express my thoughts.
So that I can put them into words
and get the out of my head.

It's hard to explain to people who don't understand.

And when there isn't anyone to talk to or with
and I'm just sitting here writing
because it is my only way to connect to or with anyone...
It's hard to explain that.

I guess it seems obsessive and excessive to most people.
And they really can't fathom it.

It's like reading gives me things to think about.
And I feel like I have a lot to think about
and consider and contemplate.

And people think it's crazy to want to dig deeper
and to know and understand things.
To want to know and understand things about myself.

It's hard to explain and people think I'm crazy
and sometimes I feel like I am.

But sometimes I just ned to know, and understand.

Because when I know and understand,
I feel at ease, at peace with it.