Asking As A Friend

I made a decision today. I decided to ask my friend
to help me reveal a secret. To help me reveal this blog
and my poetry blog if anything happens to me.

I have not really revealed it to many people
who have actually known me in my life.
They never see this side of me.
I don't express myself to them.
What they see is what they've gotten from me.
And what they have chosen to see...

The people who read this blog are the only ones
who ever get to see who I really am.
Someone told me that it's like 'night and day.'

How I'm mostly reserved in my outter life,
but how I can express my inner life, in writing.

Someone said: "I think you're more interesting than you show."
Someone said: "I wish I could write like you."

I've been laying my life down in these words.
This comes from the true me.
The me that I don't let many see.

It's not that I want to be or need to be well known.
I'm not f*cking special or important.

I'm just some girl, writing. Showing you that if I can, you can.
That this works as a way to express yourself.
That you can help people see things they haven't seen
or have trouble seeing, with words.

I'm just some average person with flaws and fears and insecurities.
Just someone wanting to and needing to grow
like I've never grown before.

I have been growing and have had to have grown
to get to this point in my life.
But I can stand to grow some more.
In many aspects of my life.

All I'm doing is sharing it with you.
Or it will just be unexpressed
and the only version of me they will ever know
is the only one they've ever seen.

And like most, I'd like to think it's safe to say
that I'm more than what has ever met their eyes.
And as that sounds a bit conceited, it's always felt
like I've been living a double life.

But, others won't ever see us the way we know ourselves.
We only show what we project and reflect.

Like I don't know if anything I've ever written on here
has ever resonated with anyone in any way.
Or ever made any difference at all. I may never know.
But I'm not going to assume it has. I won't do that.

The few readers I have, have been around for a while.
I guess if they didn't at least like any of it or found it
at least somewhat entertaining, they wouldn't have stayed long.
Or at all for that matter. Although they are strangers,
I feel like I've connected with them the most.
Of anyone in my life.

Except the very few I've let into my life
and they still don't see this side of me...

I only added the share buttons in the posts the other day.
The blue circle thing I coded and added isn't connected to anything.
I just left it there because it's fun to play with haha.

Anyway, I have some studying to do,
I feel like I can get into it.