Still haven't figured out why we want what we can't have.
It still just boggles my mind.
Knowing that it isn't for us, yet still wanting it.
It's like torturing ourselves for the sake of it. It's odd.
There are the clues... Why not just want more clues?
We can have those and there isn't anything wrong with wanting those.
I guess there's nothing wrong with wanting,
but it's not the same as allowing.
I still think this year can turn out very well.
There's already been a few things that have surprised me.
And they wouldn't have come my way if I hadn't allowed them to.
Had I not been open to the experiences. Which I was. Both were great.
I have a feeling it was just a little taste of more to come.
Which is a great feeling! I'll take it over the other feelings any day!
Just have to be open to it. Trying new things. Doing new things.
Learning new things, thinking about new things.
I keep thinking about something that was said about patience.
Since I seem to be struggling with it quite a bit lately.
We don't plant a kernel of corn, then stomp on the ground
demanding that the corn grow, nor do we tear it out of the ground
before it is ready to be harvested.
So why do we do this with our desires?
It's pretty much the same thing.
If the corn is not ready, it's not ready.
It takes time to grow and we know this. It's logical.
So do the other seeds we plant.
Why the impatience?
Can't we wait for our crops to be ready?
Without stomping on them? Demanding they grow at our rate
and not their natural rate within their natural cycles and processes?
We can stomp, yell, scream, make as big of a fuss as we want,
but it doesn't make it grow any faster.
"When the work is done, it is forgotten.
That is why it lasts forever."
And maybe the end result isn't that one corn.
Each cob can produce many stalks.
Each kernel on the cob is itself a seed.
Maybe it is the sense of eternity, not that one cob.
Not that one harvest. It's not what we 'wanted.'
It's more about what we have the potential to have.
Had I gotten what I had wanted, I wouldn't be having
these new experiences. I wouldn't be learning, or growing.
How soon I forget that.
It still just boggles my mind.
Knowing that it isn't for us, yet still wanting it.
It's like torturing ourselves for the sake of it. It's odd.
There are the clues... Why not just want more clues?
We can have those and there isn't anything wrong with wanting those.
I guess there's nothing wrong with wanting,
but it's not the same as allowing.
I still think this year can turn out very well.
There's already been a few things that have surprised me.
And they wouldn't have come my way if I hadn't allowed them to.
Had I not been open to the experiences. Which I was. Both were great.
I have a feeling it was just a little taste of more to come.
Which is a great feeling! I'll take it over the other feelings any day!
Just have to be open to it. Trying new things. Doing new things.
Learning new things, thinking about new things.
I keep thinking about something that was said about patience.
Since I seem to be struggling with it quite a bit lately.
We don't plant a kernel of corn, then stomp on the ground
demanding that the corn grow, nor do we tear it out of the ground
before it is ready to be harvested.
So why do we do this with our desires?
It's pretty much the same thing.
If the corn is not ready, it's not ready.
It takes time to grow and we know this. It's logical.
So do the other seeds we plant.
Why the impatience?
Can't we wait for our crops to be ready?
Without stomping on them? Demanding they grow at our rate
and not their natural rate within their natural cycles and processes?
We can stomp, yell, scream, make as big of a fuss as we want,
but it doesn't make it grow any faster.
"When the work is done, it is forgotten.
That is why it lasts forever."
And maybe the end result isn't that one corn.
Each cob can produce many stalks.
Each kernel on the cob is itself a seed.
Maybe it is the sense of eternity, not that one cob.
Not that one harvest. It's not what we 'wanted.'
It's more about what we have the potential to have.
Had I gotten what I had wanted, I wouldn't be having
these new experiences. I wouldn't be learning, or growing.
How soon I forget that.
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