The thing with awareness is that it's not all about realizing,
it's also about recognition. When we learn to recognize our triggers
and recognize ourselves being triggered, we can then get to a turning point.
The turning point is when we have that choice. Door 1 or Door 2.
You can have as many doors as you want, but start off with 2.
Someone said to do the opposite of what you are compelled to do.
So the Door 1 is the impulse. Door 2 is the opposite of the impulse.
It's still so hard! Yes! I know! It will be hard until it's not hard anymore!
Every time we try, it gets easier to just do it.
If we don't try to do it, we won't be able to do it.
As an example... If I never tried to knit, I wouldn't have learned how.
Of course trying was frustrating and it was hard to work the needles.
It was hard to remember the steps I had to take to complete the stitches.
It was hard to learn how to read the patterns and how to follow them,
but I had some guidance! From my Grandmother who had experience!
With crochet, it was different because nobody I knew had experience.
Nobody could show me how it's done. There was no YouTube when I started.
I had a hook, wool, a book with diagrams, and just the desire to learn how.
Yes! I got mad! That I couldn't do it! That it took so long to learn!
Was I jealous that others could knit and I was still learning? I was.
It's obviously not about the knitting itself. It's only an example I'm using.
It's about skills. All skills. Any Skills.
If you don't try and don't keep trying, you can't learn how.
I'm talking about making changes here. Like life changing changes.
I've said so many times that I want a change, but wasn't making any.
I was getting discouraged by my lack of progress, but wasn't making any.
Progress doesn't just happen. Changes don't just happen. They are made.
And how am I supposed to learn how to make progress and make changes
if I'm not trying to make those? I won't be able to if I do not try.
And there are times that I recognize that I am,
and there are times that I recognize that I am not.
Because I either see it, or I don't, but it is more than this.
It's recognizing certain things that need to change
and recognizing certain patterns that can be recreated into new patterns.
Recognizing the mood and the energy and certain sensations, whatever it is.
Because when we recognize these, we become aware of them.
And when we become aware of them, we can do something about them.
We can't do anything about the things we are not aware of.
We can't change the things we do not recognize.
We recognize those things by observing, watching.
Which means we have to learn to detach. Look from the outside.
Be on the outside looking in. At yourself.
At what you are doing, what you are thinking, how you are feeling, etc.
Examine it, look at those things. When we look, we see.
We may not like what we see, but if we don't, we are judging what we see.
Which means two things:
1) You do not have to like what you see.
2) You don't have to want to like what you see.
The point is to see it and look at it, think about it, consider it.
And yes, there are things that we will see that we cannot unsee.
It's insight. That is what it is. The ability to look within.
Reflection... Reflecting on the observations you make will give you new insights.
Now... Enlightenment... People equate enlightenment with wisdom.
Like "I want to become enlightened." Like it's some spiritual goal of goals.
But they don't even really know what enlightenment is.
En-lighten-ment. Someone described it as becoming light.
Not light as is a beam of light, light as in releasing stuff.
Like finally becoming free from the struggles....
"But... I don't want to change!" This is what weighs people down.
All these things that weigh us down prevent us from becoming 'enlightened'
I see enlightenment as being as light as air. Having absolutely zero attachment.
That mistake I wrote about in the previous post...
It was an attachment... I was too attached to the outcome. At the time.
Which is ironic. The thing I've been doing in my ritual in the mornings...
Part of it is surrendering the outcomes of past, present, and future situations.
Not that I have no responsibility for how they turn out. I do play a role,
but it's not entirely up to me how things turn out. My role is only my role.
I can play my role better, or my role will play me. That is the choice.
Yet, I allowed myself to get attached to that outcome.
Which was, in itself, another mistake.
And I'm still attached to it every time I think about it,
every time I let it get to me.
Every time I feel how I feel about it.
Every time I interact or engage with it in any way.
It means that I haven't released it.
I have a really hard time releasing things. I hold onto memories.
I hold onto my beliefs, my ideals, thoughts, patterns, etc.
I hold onto things, objects, I hold onto vestiges of what once was.
I hold onto pain, hurt, sorrow, etc.
I hold onto things I do not have to hold onto and I have to learn to release them.
The only way I can learn how is by trying to do it.
Trying to leave the past in the past. Trying to move forward.
Trying to get better, trying to feel better, trying to do better, trying to be better.
Just trying in general. I can look back on things and say: "At least I tried."
But then I can ask "Did I try hard enough?" "Did I try long enough?"
People will try once and give up saying... "I tried...."
Yes, you tried, but did you try until you succeeded? Or only once?
That is what success is. It's not being able to do it,
it's BECOMING able to do it. Overcoming the inability.
So this is what I am working on and the only way I will get 'better'
is to keep trying and trying and trying and trying.
All the trying is just practice and effort. Which pays off.
You'll either learn how to do it or how not to do it. Either way, you learn.
I have these certain flaws and certain inabilities... Which will take a lot of work.
And I've been telling everyone... This is why I cannot invest myself in a relationship.
Because I have to really work on myself, but it has to be every DAY. DAILY.
Like Ryan from Reddit said... No more ZERO days...
I have to admit, I have been slacking on my projects, and slacking on my studying.
And slacking on some important stuff to the point it slips my mind.
But this is important stuff. To me, it is. If I do not work on it, if I do not try,
I do not learn and I do not become able, and I do not overcome my inabilities.
This is why it is important. It all adds up. All of it.
Everything we do adds up.
Everything we don't do adds up. It all counts.
Even when we think it doesn't matter, it actually does.
Some people won't wake up and they won't ever change.
They are too comfortable in their 'shell.' Even when that 'shell' doesn't fit anymore.
Yes, I would like more people to wake up, to realize and to recognize things,
but they can't see it. And they'll say that they wish that they could.
They'll say they wish they could do this or that, yet they never even try!
When they stop wishing they could, and start wanting it,
that's when they start trying and they get somewhere.
There's a lot I haven't tried to do. A LOT!!!
And certain people have seen this. Seen the things I haven't tried to do.
And they will judge me for not having tried to do those things,
but have they considered that those things are things I may not be ready for?
Or things that aren't even meant for me?
I don't know if I told this little parable on here...
A guy and his donkey... I heard this from Mooji.
He was talking about how a guy took his donkey to a mine.
And how a celestial gem just falls out of the sky, but he doesn't recognize its value.
So he just ties the gem to his donkey, around the donkey's neck.
Then he goes back to work, in the mine.
Mining for gems, but one just fell out of the sky!
Literally given to him, but he couldn't recognize the value.
So a guy comes along, and sees the donkey
wearing the celestial gem around his neck.
So he says he wants to buy the donkey...
He offers to pay more than the donkey is worth.
Because the gem around his neck is what he is actually after.
But the guy with the donkey doesn't recognize the value of the gem,
so he thinks that the man is just making an offer on the donkey.
He knows that the donkey is worth less than the man is offering
so he takes the offer. Relinquishing the gem.
So the man buys the donkey and takes the gem.
He slaps the donkey on the ass and the donkey returns back to his owner.
All the guy sees is that the man offered him money for the donkey and sent it back.
He doesn't know why the man wanted the donkey in the first place.
These stories... They are metaphors for how we live our lives.
Not recognizing the value of certain things.
When we don't see the value, we can't appreciate it.
We end up losing it to someone who does see the value in it.
Opportunities, possibilities... They have value.
There's value in so many things, but we can't see it because we do not recognize it.
I saw the value of the sunlight shining through the ice. Another metaphor.
Things that are literal can also be figurative.
Also speculative... Think about it. Speculate.
The thing is that when we speculate... "Spec" has to do with seeing.
Like spectacles (glasses) help you see...
What do you see in the word "Spectacular"?
Ocular is another "seeing" word... What do you see in it?
it's also about recognition. When we learn to recognize our triggers
and recognize ourselves being triggered, we can then get to a turning point.
The turning point is when we have that choice. Door 1 or Door 2.
You can have as many doors as you want, but start off with 2.
Someone said to do the opposite of what you are compelled to do.
So the Door 1 is the impulse. Door 2 is the opposite of the impulse.
It's still so hard! Yes! I know! It will be hard until it's not hard anymore!
Every time we try, it gets easier to just do it.
If we don't try to do it, we won't be able to do it.
As an example... If I never tried to knit, I wouldn't have learned how.
Of course trying was frustrating and it was hard to work the needles.
It was hard to remember the steps I had to take to complete the stitches.
It was hard to learn how to read the patterns and how to follow them,
but I had some guidance! From my Grandmother who had experience!
With crochet, it was different because nobody I knew had experience.
Nobody could show me how it's done. There was no YouTube when I started.
I had a hook, wool, a book with diagrams, and just the desire to learn how.
Yes! I got mad! That I couldn't do it! That it took so long to learn!
Was I jealous that others could knit and I was still learning? I was.
It's obviously not about the knitting itself. It's only an example I'm using.
It's about skills. All skills. Any Skills.
If you don't try and don't keep trying, you can't learn how.
I'm talking about making changes here. Like life changing changes.
I've said so many times that I want a change, but wasn't making any.
I was getting discouraged by my lack of progress, but wasn't making any.
Progress doesn't just happen. Changes don't just happen. They are made.
And how am I supposed to learn how to make progress and make changes
if I'm not trying to make those? I won't be able to if I do not try.
And there are times that I recognize that I am,
and there are times that I recognize that I am not.
Because I either see it, or I don't, but it is more than this.
It's recognizing certain things that need to change
and recognizing certain patterns that can be recreated into new patterns.
Recognizing the mood and the energy and certain sensations, whatever it is.
Because when we recognize these, we become aware of them.
And when we become aware of them, we can do something about them.
We can't do anything about the things we are not aware of.
We can't change the things we do not recognize.
We recognize those things by observing, watching.
Which means we have to learn to detach. Look from the outside.
Be on the outside looking in. At yourself.
At what you are doing, what you are thinking, how you are feeling, etc.
Examine it, look at those things. When we look, we see.
We may not like what we see, but if we don't, we are judging what we see.
Which means two things:
1) You do not have to like what you see.
2) You don't have to want to like what you see.
The point is to see it and look at it, think about it, consider it.
And yes, there are things that we will see that we cannot unsee.
It's insight. That is what it is. The ability to look within.
Reflection... Reflecting on the observations you make will give you new insights.
Now... Enlightenment... People equate enlightenment with wisdom.
Like "I want to become enlightened." Like it's some spiritual goal of goals.
But they don't even really know what enlightenment is.
En-lighten-ment. Someone described it as becoming light.
Not light as is a beam of light, light as in releasing stuff.
Like finally becoming free from the struggles....
"But... I don't want to change!" This is what weighs people down.
All these things that weigh us down prevent us from becoming 'enlightened'
I see enlightenment as being as light as air. Having absolutely zero attachment.
That mistake I wrote about in the previous post...
It was an attachment... I was too attached to the outcome. At the time.
Which is ironic. The thing I've been doing in my ritual in the mornings...
Part of it is surrendering the outcomes of past, present, and future situations.
Not that I have no responsibility for how they turn out. I do play a role,
but it's not entirely up to me how things turn out. My role is only my role.
I can play my role better, or my role will play me. That is the choice.
Yet, I allowed myself to get attached to that outcome.
Which was, in itself, another mistake.
And I'm still attached to it every time I think about it,
every time I let it get to me.
Every time I feel how I feel about it.
Every time I interact or engage with it in any way.
It means that I haven't released it.
I have a really hard time releasing things. I hold onto memories.
I hold onto my beliefs, my ideals, thoughts, patterns, etc.
I hold onto things, objects, I hold onto vestiges of what once was.
I hold onto pain, hurt, sorrow, etc.
I hold onto things I do not have to hold onto and I have to learn to release them.
The only way I can learn how is by trying to do it.
Trying to leave the past in the past. Trying to move forward.
Trying to get better, trying to feel better, trying to do better, trying to be better.
Just trying in general. I can look back on things and say: "At least I tried."
But then I can ask "Did I try hard enough?" "Did I try long enough?"
People will try once and give up saying... "I tried...."
Yes, you tried, but did you try until you succeeded? Or only once?
That is what success is. It's not being able to do it,
it's BECOMING able to do it. Overcoming the inability.
So this is what I am working on and the only way I will get 'better'
is to keep trying and trying and trying and trying.
All the trying is just practice and effort. Which pays off.
You'll either learn how to do it or how not to do it. Either way, you learn.
I have these certain flaws and certain inabilities... Which will take a lot of work.
And I've been telling everyone... This is why I cannot invest myself in a relationship.
Because I have to really work on myself, but it has to be every DAY. DAILY.
Like Ryan from Reddit said... No more ZERO days...
I have to admit, I have been slacking on my projects, and slacking on my studying.
And slacking on some important stuff to the point it slips my mind.
But this is important stuff. To me, it is. If I do not work on it, if I do not try,
I do not learn and I do not become able, and I do not overcome my inabilities.
This is why it is important. It all adds up. All of it.
Everything we do adds up.
Everything we don't do adds up. It all counts.
Even when we think it doesn't matter, it actually does.
Some people won't wake up and they won't ever change.
They are too comfortable in their 'shell.' Even when that 'shell' doesn't fit anymore.
Yes, I would like more people to wake up, to realize and to recognize things,
but they can't see it. And they'll say that they wish that they could.
They'll say they wish they could do this or that, yet they never even try!
When they stop wishing they could, and start wanting it,
that's when they start trying and they get somewhere.
There's a lot I haven't tried to do. A LOT!!!
And certain people have seen this. Seen the things I haven't tried to do.
And they will judge me for not having tried to do those things,
but have they considered that those things are things I may not be ready for?
Or things that aren't even meant for me?
I don't know if I told this little parable on here...
A guy and his donkey... I heard this from Mooji.
He was talking about how a guy took his donkey to a mine.
And how a celestial gem just falls out of the sky, but he doesn't recognize its value.
So he just ties the gem to his donkey, around the donkey's neck.
Then he goes back to work, in the mine.
Mining for gems, but one just fell out of the sky!
Literally given to him, but he couldn't recognize the value.
So a guy comes along, and sees the donkey
wearing the celestial gem around his neck.
So he says he wants to buy the donkey...
He offers to pay more than the donkey is worth.
Because the gem around his neck is what he is actually after.
But the guy with the donkey doesn't recognize the value of the gem,
so he thinks that the man is just making an offer on the donkey.
He knows that the donkey is worth less than the man is offering
so he takes the offer. Relinquishing the gem.
So the man buys the donkey and takes the gem.
He slaps the donkey on the ass and the donkey returns back to his owner.
All the guy sees is that the man offered him money for the donkey and sent it back.
He doesn't know why the man wanted the donkey in the first place.
These stories... They are metaphors for how we live our lives.
Not recognizing the value of certain things.
When we don't see the value, we can't appreciate it.
We end up losing it to someone who does see the value in it.
Opportunities, possibilities... They have value.
There's value in so many things, but we can't see it because we do not recognize it.
I saw the value of the sunlight shining through the ice. Another metaphor.
Things that are literal can also be figurative.
Also speculative... Think about it. Speculate.
The thing is that when we speculate... "Spec" has to do with seeing.
Like spectacles (glasses) help you see...
What do you see in the word "Spectacular"?
Ocular is another "seeing" word... What do you see in it?
No comments:
Post a Comment