Having Hope

I haven't had a lot of hope in my life. That things would get better,
that anything would get better, about anything.
I've used it a bunch of times, that word. Hope.
Like "I hope you're doing well." Stuff like that.
"I hope it quits snowing." Etc.
(We're supposed to be getting more soon).

But I haven't felt all that hopeful. I don't know why.
I've felt hopeless... I know how that feels.
But hopeful... I don't really know what that feels like.
Maybe I've felt that way a few times, but I don't remember how it feels.

There was something in the book I'm reading.
A psychologist did a test where high school kids
were given a hypothetical situation, a problem to solve
and he found that the ones who had more hope
were more likely to solve the problem than the ones with no hope.

He defined hope as "believing that you having the will and the way
to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be."

I hadn't tied hope in with believing, but I guess it works.
I guess the less I believed, the less hope I've had. I can see that.

He found that people with more hope were able to motivate themselves,
feel resourceful, reassure themselves, be more flexible,
and be able to break things down so they can manage with bigger tasks.

Having hope 'means not giving in to overwhelming anxiety,'
'a defeatist attitude,' or 'depression' in the face of difficulties and setbacks.
It says that people who are hopeful are less depressed,
less emotionally distressed, and less anxious. In general.

Then it goes on to talk about optimism. Which I struggle with daily.

"Optimism, like hope, means having a strong expectation that,
in general, things will turn out all right in life, despite setbacks and frustrations."

There are times I do feel optimistic, but not all the time.
When the sun is shining, it's easier.
When I can look up at the blue sky and feel alright with the world.
With my life and with myself.
Despite not having the things I want, or things the way I want.
Despite how others treat me like 98% of the time.
Despite constantly feeling alone in the world.

"Optimism is an attitude that buffers people against falling into apathy,
hopelessness, or depression."

So hope is more a belief. Optimism is an attitude. Also a strong expection.
"Optimism is how people explain to themselves their successes and failures."
Optimistic people see their failures due to something that can be changed.
So that they can do better the next time.
Pessimists do the opposite.
They attribute their failure to something that is lasting
that they have no power to change.
These two explanations have implications on how people 'respond to life.'

Like optimists will react to a disappointment
differently than pessimists will.
A pessimist will look at it like there is nothing they can do about it,
that it's due to something that will always plague them.
It tells you who gives up and who doesn't.

There was a study done on insurance salespeople.
Where the ones who were optimistic had higher sales,
and they also stayed with the job longer than the pessimistic salespeople.
The pessimists actually quit at twice the rate of the optimists.

"The emotional reaction to that defeat (receiving a no)
is crucial to the ability to have enough motivation to continue."

As the amount of 'noes' pile up, morale goes way down.
Rejection is hard to take for a pessimist.
Because the way they interpret it triggers apathy and defeatism.
Which either triggers or deepens their depression.

Pessimistic views lead to despair,
optimistic views lead to hope.
Optimism can be learned.
Developing a comptency strengthens a sense of empowerment.
Which helps people feel able to take risks and take on challenges.
The more they meet these challenges, the more empowered they feel.
Which makes them more likely to make the most and best use
of the skills they acquire or to do what they have to, to get them.

"People's beliefs about their abilities
have a profound affect on their abilities."
It affects their performance.
If they believe they have the ability to use their abilities,
the less they worry about not being able to use their abilities.