Brisk Day

There are some things I really need to work on this year, like I said.
These emotional reactions.... I get caught up in them.
It's not helping me. I could be using that energy towards better things
than towards ruminating on things that are literally out of my control.
I have a lot to think about, like these things I need to work on...
I just want to redirect my mind towards those
and I want to stop thinking about this.
To redirect my mind, I have to stop thinking about this,
but it's easier said than done.
I know that I don't have to bring all the crap from last year with me.

I pulled a card for the next 4 months, well each month has a few,
but I pulled one for overall for the 4 month period.

"Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of what form it takes."

This rumination stuff is like an appeal to heal my mind
of these things that I've let affect me in this way.
It actually takes a lot of strength and willpower to stop
letting these things affect you in the ways they've affected you.
I know it's all habitual, but it's really not helping, at all.
I know I keep writing about this, but it's on my mind, a LOT.

Today I will be going back to the kitchen. It will be nice to be back.
The sun is shining today and it looks gorgeous.
I will probably need to bring a scarf though. It gets cold.
When it's sunny, we think it must be warm,
but the sunny winter days are usually pretty brisk.

One of the chefs was telling me to wear a scarf
so that I wouldn't get sick. Sweet of her. Motherly.

I just feel all weird today. I don't like it.
It's like negative energy mixed with positive energy or something.
It'll be fine, I know it will. I just feel weird.
Feeling weird is pretty uncomfortable.