Two psychologists, Peter Slovey and John Mayer,
expanded the abilities of emotional intelligence into 5 domains.
1) Knowing our own emotions
2) Managing emotions
3) Motivating ourselves
4) Recognizing emotions in others
5) Handling relationships
1) About knowing our own emotions...
This one's been hard for me for a long time.
Often I didn't even know how I was feeling. At all.
Just that it didn't feel 'good.'
My counsellor said that we have to 'name them to tame them.'
Which is true. How are we supposed to know how to tame something
when we don't even know what we're taming?
It's not just about recognizing the emotion,
but recognizing it as it happens.
"Our inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy."
"People with a greater certainty about their feelings
are better pilots of their lives."
2) Managing emotions
The capacity to soothe oneself. I didn't know how to do this.
Assurance actually really helps with this.
Telling myself that "it's okay" really helps.
It's been helping me get over the feelings of sadness,
disappointment, and anxiety. Especially anxiety.
It takes a lot of practice to assure ourselves.
Especially when we tend to look for assurance from others.
It helps us 'bounce back' quickly. From upsets and setbacks.
3) Motivating ourselves
It helps us pay attention, control ourselves, delay gratification,
stifle impulsiveness... Lets us get into "the flow", make changes etc.
This is getting easier for me. As I am using it to do certain things.
Like reading more, writing, learning, volunteering, etc.
I didn't always have a lot of this, but it is one of those things
where the more you do it, the more you can do it.
4) Recognizing emotions in others
This one is mostly about empathy. It wasn't a strong point for me.
I've been around certain people who lack it for the most part.
Especially when it came to my feelings.
If I had more awareness in this domain, I would have avoided
making some pretty stupid mistakes when it came to other people.
"People who are more empathetic are more attuned
to the subtle social signals that indicate
what others want or need."
5) Handling relationships
This has been a pretty weak point for me.
Obviously, I haven't been the greatest in relationships.
A lot of it has to do with lacking social skills, and interpersonal skills.
And lacking emotional stability. Not being able to manage my emotions well.
I can make improvements in all domains.
"The room for improvement is the biggest room in the world."
expanded the abilities of emotional intelligence into 5 domains.
1) Knowing our own emotions
2) Managing emotions
3) Motivating ourselves
4) Recognizing emotions in others
5) Handling relationships
1) About knowing our own emotions...
This one's been hard for me for a long time.
Often I didn't even know how I was feeling. At all.
Just that it didn't feel 'good.'
My counsellor said that we have to 'name them to tame them.'
Which is true. How are we supposed to know how to tame something
when we don't even know what we're taming?
It's not just about recognizing the emotion,
but recognizing it as it happens.
"Our inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy."
"People with a greater certainty about their feelings
are better pilots of their lives."
2) Managing emotions
The capacity to soothe oneself. I didn't know how to do this.
Assurance actually really helps with this.
Telling myself that "it's okay" really helps.
It's been helping me get over the feelings of sadness,
disappointment, and anxiety. Especially anxiety.
It takes a lot of practice to assure ourselves.
Especially when we tend to look for assurance from others.
It helps us 'bounce back' quickly. From upsets and setbacks.
3) Motivating ourselves
It helps us pay attention, control ourselves, delay gratification,
stifle impulsiveness... Lets us get into "the flow", make changes etc.
This is getting easier for me. As I am using it to do certain things.
Like reading more, writing, learning, volunteering, etc.
I didn't always have a lot of this, but it is one of those things
where the more you do it, the more you can do it.
4) Recognizing emotions in others
This one is mostly about empathy. It wasn't a strong point for me.
I've been around certain people who lack it for the most part.
Especially when it came to my feelings.
If I had more awareness in this domain, I would have avoided
making some pretty stupid mistakes when it came to other people.
"People who are more empathetic are more attuned
to the subtle social signals that indicate
what others want or need."
5) Handling relationships
This has been a pretty weak point for me.
Obviously, I haven't been the greatest in relationships.
A lot of it has to do with lacking social skills, and interpersonal skills.
And lacking emotional stability. Not being able to manage my emotions well.
I can make improvements in all domains.
"The room for improvement is the biggest room in the world."
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