My mother sent me a text today to tell me her Aunt died today.
I had written her a letter and waited too long to send it.
I wish I had written more.
Her funeral is next month. I have a friend who will loan me some money
towards a bus ticket to get there.
I had an experience today, where I was judged for how I live my life.
By someone who doesn't 'like' how I live my life.
Even though how I live my life isn't for him to judge.
And it wasn't just how I live my life, it was like a personal attack.
It wasn't just about my circumtances, it was about me
for having the circumstances I have.
Instead of just accepting it as a fact.
My now doesn't have to be my forever. I know this.
But to shame me for that?! Is that necessary?
Yes, I instinctually took it personally.
Because it did feel like a personal attack. It pretty much was.
But this is me looking at it that way. It's just his opinion.
Which is just an opinion. An unsolicited opinion at that.
Yeah, I'm barely surviving. Things are rough right now.
But he's of the opinion that "I'm smart enough" to have better for myself.
It's not just what you know around here.
His dad owns the business he works for so he was basically handed a job.
People don't just hand me jobs. It's harder for me
than just going "Daddy, can I have a job?"
"Will you make sure I can make ends meet?"
Funny that people who have such opportunties judge others who don't.
But that would be me judging him for judging me
which isn't necessary, either.
Anyway, I have to change how I look at that.
It's not about me or my circumstances.
It's about his beliefs about me and people who have my circumstances.
It speaks to his inability to just shut his mouth and let people live.
It speaks to his inability to just accept what is.
And not drag his personal beliefs and feelings about it into it.
Which is apparently very hard for most people.
It's an instinctual habit that runs their attitude towards everything
and towards everyone, dictates their view of everything and everyone.
I can understand that. I used to make a lot of judgements.
So much more than I do now.
Opinions are only thoughts and we don't all have to think the same way.
The same way we used to, the same way society tells us to etc.
If everyone thinks the same way, how much thinking is going on?
"It doesn't matter what they think,
they don't do it often enough for it to count."
Like I get that not everyone would live their life the way I live mine.
People are allowed to disagree with anything. Everything.
But is it necessary to throw something in someone's face
just because they disagree? Strongly? Doesn't give them an excuse.
But they'll still do it. Probably because they don't know any better.
And it is not my fault that they don't know any better.
People are ignorant of their own ignorance.
People are unaware of how unaware they are.
That there are choices beyond what they are compelled to do, say, etc.
Not everyone will understand why I am the way I am.
And yeah, to a point, he has a point,
but the delivery didn't have to be so damn harsh.
But that's me judging the delivery of the message.
Which is also unnecessary.
The thing with thoughts is that our way out of the trap they create
is when we are more interested in being aware of the thoughts
than just interested in the thoughts themselves.
People don't realize that their opinions are merely opinions.
Sure facts are facts, but opinions are opinions.
Opinions aren't facts. Facts are facts.
All opinions do is enforce beliefs we already have.
When our opinions change, so do our beliefs. Funny how that works....
I still form opinions. I still judge, but I'm aware of it now.
I can catch myself when I do it now. I can dismiss it now.
I know I don't have to do it. I tell myself that I don't have to do it.
Been doing it for so long that I still forget that I don't have to do it.
When I realized this... That I was doing things that I didn't actually have to do...
I started seeing more and more things I was doing that I didn't have to do.
I never even questioned myself as to WHY I was doing what I was doing.
I never questioned WHY I was taught to do it.
I was taught the habits of other people
by being exposed to it in my environment for so long
and I never questioned it. I never did.
I just did it because others were doing it and they taught me to do it.
It didn't occur to me (until recently) that I don't actually have to do it.
When your awareness increases, it will keep increasing.
The more you see, the more you will see.
The more you know, the more you will learn.
It's a process of evolution. You can either evolve, or not.
But it is a choice. A choice not everyone chooses to make.
Their choices are on them. My choices are on me.
Theirs are theirs, mine are mine.
So f*cking what if I make choices someone else wouldn't make?!
Does it make a difference? If not, then it makes no f*cking difference.
"If you don't 'mind' then it doesn't matter, period."
And if it has NOTHING to do with YOU, then why should you 'mind'?
That's mind over matter logic, right there.
Or rather, matter over mind.
I get people have their certain beliefs based on certain values they have.
Not everyone is going to share those values,
therefore, they aren't going to share those beliefs.
Therefore, they will have different opinions.
There's a quote. I don't know who said it or where it comes from...
"A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still."
It's not my job to try to convince anyone of anything.
I realize I'm going to meet resistance. With my views
that aren't shared by everyone. I can accept that.
I don't need to resist their resistance. What would that accomplish?
Would that 'solve' the dilemma of having a difference of opinion? No!
I'm not even trying to convince anyone of anything.
All I'm doing by blogging is sharing my views.
If people look at things the same way, cool.
If not, no big deal. Life goes on.
Nobody has to jump on my bandwagon.
Besides, if everyone did, it would be so overloaded,
that the horses couldn't pull it. When it's too full, it's too full.
That's why everyone needs their own bandwagon.
I feel better now than I was feeling in the 'heat of the moment.'
Because I don't have to take anyone's opinion for anything but an opinion.
It's nothing personal, it's just an opinion.
Even if it's intended to be personal, it's nothing but an opinion.
All opinions are... Are thoughts.
All they do is enforce the beliefs we already have.
That's it. That's all. Beliefs are enough to enforce themselves.
So why do we need opinions to do that? We don't.
I had written her a letter and waited too long to send it.
I wish I had written more.
Her funeral is next month. I have a friend who will loan me some money
towards a bus ticket to get there.
I had an experience today, where I was judged for how I live my life.
By someone who doesn't 'like' how I live my life.
Even though how I live my life isn't for him to judge.
And it wasn't just how I live my life, it was like a personal attack.
It wasn't just about my circumtances, it was about me
for having the circumstances I have.
Instead of just accepting it as a fact.
My now doesn't have to be my forever. I know this.
But to shame me for that?! Is that necessary?
Yes, I instinctually took it personally.
Because it did feel like a personal attack. It pretty much was.
But this is me looking at it that way. It's just his opinion.
Which is just an opinion. An unsolicited opinion at that.
Yeah, I'm barely surviving. Things are rough right now.
But he's of the opinion that "I'm smart enough" to have better for myself.
It's not just what you know around here.
His dad owns the business he works for so he was basically handed a job.
People don't just hand me jobs. It's harder for me
than just going "Daddy, can I have a job?"
"Will you make sure I can make ends meet?"
Funny that people who have such opportunties judge others who don't.
But that would be me judging him for judging me
which isn't necessary, either.
Anyway, I have to change how I look at that.
It's not about me or my circumstances.
It's about his beliefs about me and people who have my circumstances.
It speaks to his inability to just shut his mouth and let people live.
It speaks to his inability to just accept what is.
And not drag his personal beliefs and feelings about it into it.
Which is apparently very hard for most people.
It's an instinctual habit that runs their attitude towards everything
and towards everyone, dictates their view of everything and everyone.
I can understand that. I used to make a lot of judgements.
So much more than I do now.
Opinions are only thoughts and we don't all have to think the same way.
The same way we used to, the same way society tells us to etc.
If everyone thinks the same way, how much thinking is going on?
"It doesn't matter what they think,
they don't do it often enough for it to count."
Like I get that not everyone would live their life the way I live mine.
People are allowed to disagree with anything. Everything.
But is it necessary to throw something in someone's face
just because they disagree? Strongly? Doesn't give them an excuse.
But they'll still do it. Probably because they don't know any better.
And it is not my fault that they don't know any better.
People are ignorant of their own ignorance.
People are unaware of how unaware they are.
That there are choices beyond what they are compelled to do, say, etc.
Not everyone will understand why I am the way I am.
And yeah, to a point, he has a point,
but the delivery didn't have to be so damn harsh.
But that's me judging the delivery of the message.
Which is also unnecessary.
The thing with thoughts is that our way out of the trap they create
is when we are more interested in being aware of the thoughts
than just interested in the thoughts themselves.
People don't realize that their opinions are merely opinions.
Sure facts are facts, but opinions are opinions.
Opinions aren't facts. Facts are facts.
All opinions do is enforce beliefs we already have.
When our opinions change, so do our beliefs. Funny how that works....
I still form opinions. I still judge, but I'm aware of it now.
I can catch myself when I do it now. I can dismiss it now.
I know I don't have to do it. I tell myself that I don't have to do it.
Been doing it for so long that I still forget that I don't have to do it.
When I realized this... That I was doing things that I didn't actually have to do...
I started seeing more and more things I was doing that I didn't have to do.
I never even questioned myself as to WHY I was doing what I was doing.
I never questioned WHY I was taught to do it.
I was taught the habits of other people
by being exposed to it in my environment for so long
and I never questioned it. I never did.
I just did it because others were doing it and they taught me to do it.
It didn't occur to me (until recently) that I don't actually have to do it.
When your awareness increases, it will keep increasing.
The more you see, the more you will see.
The more you know, the more you will learn.
It's a process of evolution. You can either evolve, or not.
But it is a choice. A choice not everyone chooses to make.
Their choices are on them. My choices are on me.
Theirs are theirs, mine are mine.
So f*cking what if I make choices someone else wouldn't make?!
Does it make a difference? If not, then it makes no f*cking difference.
"If you don't 'mind' then it doesn't matter, period."
And if it has NOTHING to do with YOU, then why should you 'mind'?
That's mind over matter logic, right there.
Or rather, matter over mind.
I get people have their certain beliefs based on certain values they have.
Not everyone is going to share those values,
therefore, they aren't going to share those beliefs.
Therefore, they will have different opinions.
There's a quote. I don't know who said it or where it comes from...
"A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still."
It's not my job to try to convince anyone of anything.
I realize I'm going to meet resistance. With my views
that aren't shared by everyone. I can accept that.
I don't need to resist their resistance. What would that accomplish?
Would that 'solve' the dilemma of having a difference of opinion? No!
I'm not even trying to convince anyone of anything.
All I'm doing by blogging is sharing my views.
If people look at things the same way, cool.
If not, no big deal. Life goes on.
Nobody has to jump on my bandwagon.
Besides, if everyone did, it would be so overloaded,
that the horses couldn't pull it. When it's too full, it's too full.
That's why everyone needs their own bandwagon.
I feel better now than I was feeling in the 'heat of the moment.'
Because I don't have to take anyone's opinion for anything but an opinion.
It's nothing personal, it's just an opinion.
Even if it's intended to be personal, it's nothing but an opinion.
All opinions are... Are thoughts.
All they do is enforce the beliefs we already have.
That's it. That's all. Beliefs are enough to enforce themselves.
So why do we need opinions to do that? We don't.
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