I decided to start going to the library on a consistent basis.
Just to read a chapter or so of a book and then take some notes and go home.
Today, someone was sitting in my usual spot at the tables at the back,
so I went to sit at the front where the homeless people sleep.
There was a guy who came along who sat next to me.
I've seen this guy on the bus before. A short little fellow.
So he grumbles for a while, sits down, starts reading the paper.
Then I keep hearing his commentary about the stuff in the news...
"What a piece of sh*t." And various comments like this.
Most people do not realize that they don't have to expose themselves
to any negative material or have any negative reactions to the material.
I stopped watching the news and reading the paper a long time ago.
In fact, I rarely watch TV anymore.
The last time I read the newspaper, I was reading an article
about how a guy drove drunk and almost killed a motorcyclist in a crash.
A couple years prior to this crash, he had been in another crash
that had been a suicide attempt.
As a result of his first crash, he ended up in a wheelchair.
So the vehicle he was driving during the second crash was modified
with hand controls so he could drive it.
Now the motorcyclist is in a wheelchair because he chose to drive drunk.
There's no 'happy' news in the newspapers. Controvery sells papers.
Anyway, it would be easy to have a negative reaction to that article.
To that guy's bad choice and the results of his choice.
Life isn't fair. Life can change in a blink of an eye.
Someone was telling me how one of her friends just had a motorcycle accident.
And all the injuries she sustained. The point is that she survived,
and her life has been seriously altered.
People have to rebuild their lives after a traumatic event. It isn't easy.
There was a video I was watching with a woman in it. She was auditioning.
For one of those talent shows. She was singing.
The first thing I noticed about her were the scars on most of her body.
On her arms and on her face. It turns out that she survived a plane crash.
In this plane crash 107 people died and she was one of the only 2 who survived.
In that type of thing, it's easy to say things like "Why did I survive
when all those people died?" "How could I have been so lucky and they weren't?"
Things happen for reasons, even the really sh*tty things.
Quite often, none of it makes sense. Especially at the time.
I ended up hearing back from the business owner, he's still interested.
So that is good news. I just have to keep working on what I'm doing.
Removing the backgrounds from these images, preparing the video,
then put it all together. Which shouldn't take very long.
The longest is removing the backgrounds from the images,
because the edges have to be a certain way. It's very hard to get the edges just right.
I have to take a nap first. Not that I've had a really busy day,
it's just that I really feel drained. I know it's from this eating disorder.
I do need help. There's no way around it.
I keep thinking I'll probably have a heart attack before the age of 40.
I already feel weak in the heart. I feel weak in my head, my arms, my legs.
I feel like the walking dead a lot of the time. It's getting really bad.
Anyway, there's some other things I was to write about later,
but right now, I really need to rest.
Just to read a chapter or so of a book and then take some notes and go home.
Today, someone was sitting in my usual spot at the tables at the back,
so I went to sit at the front where the homeless people sleep.
There was a guy who came along who sat next to me.
I've seen this guy on the bus before. A short little fellow.
So he grumbles for a while, sits down, starts reading the paper.
Then I keep hearing his commentary about the stuff in the news...
"What a piece of sh*t." And various comments like this.
Most people do not realize that they don't have to expose themselves
to any negative material or have any negative reactions to the material.
I stopped watching the news and reading the paper a long time ago.
In fact, I rarely watch TV anymore.
The last time I read the newspaper, I was reading an article
about how a guy drove drunk and almost killed a motorcyclist in a crash.
A couple years prior to this crash, he had been in another crash
that had been a suicide attempt.
As a result of his first crash, he ended up in a wheelchair.
So the vehicle he was driving during the second crash was modified
with hand controls so he could drive it.
Now the motorcyclist is in a wheelchair because he chose to drive drunk.
There's no 'happy' news in the newspapers. Controvery sells papers.
Anyway, it would be easy to have a negative reaction to that article.
To that guy's bad choice and the results of his choice.
Life isn't fair. Life can change in a blink of an eye.
Someone was telling me how one of her friends just had a motorcycle accident.
And all the injuries she sustained. The point is that she survived,
and her life has been seriously altered.
People have to rebuild their lives after a traumatic event. It isn't easy.
There was a video I was watching with a woman in it. She was auditioning.
For one of those talent shows. She was singing.
The first thing I noticed about her were the scars on most of her body.
On her arms and on her face. It turns out that she survived a plane crash.
In this plane crash 107 people died and she was one of the only 2 who survived.
In that type of thing, it's easy to say things like "Why did I survive
when all those people died?" "How could I have been so lucky and they weren't?"
Things happen for reasons, even the really sh*tty things.
Quite often, none of it makes sense. Especially at the time.
I ended up hearing back from the business owner, he's still interested.
So that is good news. I just have to keep working on what I'm doing.
Removing the backgrounds from these images, preparing the video,
then put it all together. Which shouldn't take very long.
The longest is removing the backgrounds from the images,
because the edges have to be a certain way. It's very hard to get the edges just right.
I have to take a nap first. Not that I've had a really busy day,
it's just that I really feel drained. I know it's from this eating disorder.
I do need help. There's no way around it.
I keep thinking I'll probably have a heart attack before the age of 40.
I already feel weak in the heart. I feel weak in my head, my arms, my legs.
I feel like the walking dead a lot of the time. It's getting really bad.
Anyway, there's some other things I was to write about later,
but right now, I really need to rest.
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