It's hard to explain the sense of calm tonight.
A feeling that things are going to work out and are working out, overall.
There were times I felt anything but this.
It's true that I don't know how things are going to unfold.
I don't know what's going to happen next year, or the year after.
But it's okay not to know. I can let myself be pleasantly surprised.
It's not like it's all going to be a bed of roses or anything like that.
I know that things are going to come up here and there. They tend to,
but I just have a feeling that I don't have to worry about that so much.
I used to worry about everything, all the time. It didn't feel good
to live with that much anxiety on a daily basis.
I used to take anxiety medication. I still have panic attacks sometimes.
Very rarely, but it still happens. Usually when the energy is intense,
I tend to tense up when the energy gets to be too much.
Like when people are fighting around me. I feel their tension. It's crazy.
I know I don't have to let it affect me, but I still feel it.
I feel their tension like it's my tension and I really don't like it.
I have to keep reminding myself that it's theirs, not mine.
When I feel it and get overwhelmed by it, it's hard to remind myself of that.
It is really weird to feel other people's energy.
Especially when they have low vibes.
It freaks them out because they sense that I can feel it,
but they don't know on a conscious level that they are sensing me sensing them.
So I feel it when that happens. I've felt it a few times.
I feel it when they feel awkward around me.
I feel it when they are disgusted. I feel it when they have very low vibes.
Being around really negative people really gets to me after a while.
I keep getting the urge to leave because I feel like they will literally drain me.
Which is hard sometimes. I've dated some negative people.
I didn't just want to walk away from them, I loved them.
I didn't just want to walk away from my family, either. I love them, too.
My vibration hasn't been the highest all the time.
When I was at my lowest points, it's been very low.
When I've had my weak moments, it's been weak. It's hard to be and stay strong.
There was someone doing a card reading tonight.
One of the cards was: "Positive thinking creates positive results."
Basically, this is the "Power of positive thinking"
that Norman Vincent Peale wrote about.
Today's quote is from him, ironically:
"There is real magic in enthusiasm.
It spells the difference between mediocracy and accomplishment."
I got his book from a friend a long time ago. A very long time ago.
It's one of the books I'm going to read next year.
I keep thinking and wondering something:
Is it because people have a low vibration that they are unhappy?
Or are they unhappy because they have a low vibration?
Then I start thinking that emotions are a vibration, just like thoughts are.
They are waves of energy that actually have an electromagnetic field.
The brain and the heart both have electromagnetic fields.
So they are both electromagnets. It's pretty neat actually.
Both are extremely powerful, but people aren't using them to their potential.
It's not like we're taught this stuff at school or by our parents.
I keep thinking of the moon as an electromagnet, too.
Because it has a strong effect on water. Water is a conductant.
I also believe that the moon has a strong effect on us, also.
Whether or not we realize it.
It's been an interesting night.
I just finished a broadcast tonight. I am very tired now.
It takes a lot of efforting to verbalize my thoughts,
over the amount it takes to just write my thoughts out.
Tonight, I tried putting some things into words
that I'm not used to talking about, but I felt like I had to do this tonight.
I got the urge to read from page 217 from two different books.
In one book, it was about death. In the other book it was about fear.
In the second book, I found a card thing from my Grandmother's funeral.
I was using it as a book mark. I forgot it was in there.
When I opened the book to that page, it was there.
Like I was supposed to find it tonight.
It's the 23rd, the anniversary of my Grandfather's death.
I know they are together.
It's odd that I got the "Grief Work" card for December.
Then that book on display at the library was about grieving.
Called "You Are Not Alone."
The last time I saw my father was at Christmas, actually.
It's weird that when we see people, we never know if it will be the last time.
A feeling that things are going to work out and are working out, overall.
There were times I felt anything but this.
It's true that I don't know how things are going to unfold.
I don't know what's going to happen next year, or the year after.
But it's okay not to know. I can let myself be pleasantly surprised.
It's not like it's all going to be a bed of roses or anything like that.
I know that things are going to come up here and there. They tend to,
but I just have a feeling that I don't have to worry about that so much.
I used to worry about everything, all the time. It didn't feel good
to live with that much anxiety on a daily basis.
I used to take anxiety medication. I still have panic attacks sometimes.
Very rarely, but it still happens. Usually when the energy is intense,
I tend to tense up when the energy gets to be too much.
Like when people are fighting around me. I feel their tension. It's crazy.
I know I don't have to let it affect me, but I still feel it.
I feel their tension like it's my tension and I really don't like it.
I have to keep reminding myself that it's theirs, not mine.
When I feel it and get overwhelmed by it, it's hard to remind myself of that.
It is really weird to feel other people's energy.
Especially when they have low vibes.
It freaks them out because they sense that I can feel it,
but they don't know on a conscious level that they are sensing me sensing them.
So I feel it when that happens. I've felt it a few times.
I feel it when they feel awkward around me.
I feel it when they are disgusted. I feel it when they have very low vibes.
Being around really negative people really gets to me after a while.
I keep getting the urge to leave because I feel like they will literally drain me.
Which is hard sometimes. I've dated some negative people.
I didn't just want to walk away from them, I loved them.
I didn't just want to walk away from my family, either. I love them, too.
My vibration hasn't been the highest all the time.
When I was at my lowest points, it's been very low.
When I've had my weak moments, it's been weak. It's hard to be and stay strong.
There was someone doing a card reading tonight.
One of the cards was: "Positive thinking creates positive results."
Basically, this is the "Power of positive thinking"
that Norman Vincent Peale wrote about.
Today's quote is from him, ironically:
"There is real magic in enthusiasm.
It spells the difference between mediocracy and accomplishment."
I got his book from a friend a long time ago. A very long time ago.
It's one of the books I'm going to read next year.
I keep thinking and wondering something:
Is it because people have a low vibration that they are unhappy?
Or are they unhappy because they have a low vibration?
Then I start thinking that emotions are a vibration, just like thoughts are.
They are waves of energy that actually have an electromagnetic field.
The brain and the heart both have electromagnetic fields.
So they are both electromagnets. It's pretty neat actually.
Both are extremely powerful, but people aren't using them to their potential.
It's not like we're taught this stuff at school or by our parents.
I keep thinking of the moon as an electromagnet, too.
Because it has a strong effect on water. Water is a conductant.
I also believe that the moon has a strong effect on us, also.
Whether or not we realize it.
It's been an interesting night.
I just finished a broadcast tonight. I am very tired now.
It takes a lot of efforting to verbalize my thoughts,
over the amount it takes to just write my thoughts out.
Tonight, I tried putting some things into words
that I'm not used to talking about, but I felt like I had to do this tonight.
I got the urge to read from page 217 from two different books.
In one book, it was about death. In the other book it was about fear.
In the second book, I found a card thing from my Grandmother's funeral.
I was using it as a book mark. I forgot it was in there.
When I opened the book to that page, it was there.
Like I was supposed to find it tonight.
It's the 23rd, the anniversary of my Grandfather's death.
I know they are together.
It's odd that I got the "Grief Work" card for December.
Then that book on display at the library was about grieving.
Called "You Are Not Alone."
The last time I saw my father was at Christmas, actually.
It's weird that when we see people, we never know if it will be the last time.
No comments:
Post a Comment