"Without a willingness to risk,
there is no possibility."
- John Hanley
Commitment requires courage
and a willingness.... To be vulnerable.
I know I keep bringing this up, but it is a pretty good example.
When I quit drinking, I was commiting to sobriety,
but it was a pretty big commitment, at first.
Because it was a huge change for me.
It was a time that I was extremely vulnerable.
Every time I was in the midst of a huge change, I was very vulnerable.
I've written about this before.
It's just a reference to an experience I can speak from.
It took a lot of courage to even admit to myself I had a problem with drinking.
And with alcohol. With the inability to control my thinking and feeling
especially when I was drunk. It was so much harder.
Because my senses were screwed up.
I couldn't think straight.
So you can imagine that my feelings were all over the map.
And people tend to behave according to how they feel.
Anyway, it goes:
"Actions without commitment encourages people to doubt our intentions
and withold their support."
I get this a lot. People doubt and question my intentions all the time.
They think I want something from them.
Or I'm only doing (whatever) because I want something.
Maybe because a lot of other people are like this.
Maybe others have their agendas or whatever.
I can be nice without wanting anything other than to be nice.
But when they think I'm being too nice, they get freaked out.
Like I shouldn't be THAT nice because I have no commitment to them
and they have no commitment to me.
I like to be nice just to be nice. I don't want anything from anyone.
Yeah, it bugs me that people think it means I want something from them.
Like "Can't I just do something nice without wanting anything?!"
There doesn't have to be a catch to everything.
We can actually experience results and make a positive difference
by creating more of what we want.
I keep having to practice at this stuff because it doesn't come naturally, yet.
Allowing myself to feel good just because it feels good to feel good.
That's a good enough reason. I don't need reasons. I used to think I did.
I couldn't find them. Even when I looked for them.
And the harder I looked for them, the harder they were to find.
And I used to think I had no reasons and I didn't have the reasons I wanted to have
so that I could feel the way I wanted to feel.
So I kept feeling the same way I always felt. Because I had no reasons
to feel any better than I did. I didn't have (whatever).
I'll feel better when I'm experiencing (whatever). When I have (whatever).
Even when I had certain things that I thought would 'make' me 'happy'
I wasn't happy because I didn't know how to be happy.
Because I just never allowed myself to feel the feelings.
So I didn't appreciate the things I had because they weren't 'producing'
the feelings I expected them to 'produce.' If that makes sense.
Like my rant about not waiting on anyone anymore.
That has a lot to do with my thinking
that I'll be happy when I have quality friendships.
But, to have really deep meaningful connections...
People have to be willing to go there with me.
People can only meet me as deeply as they have met themselves.
I can only meet people as deeply as I've met myself.
I can meet myself on a deeper level, I have blocks preventing me.
People have blocks preventing them.
So can I take it personally that people have blocks
preventing them from having deep connections with people?
Usually that closeness and that strong a bond freaks people out.
They can't handle it. Just like I couldn't handle certain things.
There are still things I can't handle or even grasp let alone handle.
Yes, I can see some things that others might not see,
but others can see some things that I have yet to see.
So I listen. I ask. I explore those options.
I open my mind to new things.
I expound on the fact that things aren't the way I thought they were
and things aren't the way I was taught they were.
It's moving from a skewed paradigm to a renewed paradigm.
And yeah, I'll inadvertently push people away
who aren't vibing on the same 'wave length' as I am.
People with a lower energy will vibe on whatever frequency they are at.
And yeah, I've had a low vibe for most of my life.
I know all about that low vibe. I try to raise it.
It doesn't always increase when I try to increase it.
Sometimes it does.
Sometimes "I feel good because it feels good to feel good" is enough.
When I allow it to be enough.
All the times I wasn't enough for others
was because they weren't allowing me to be enough.
But they didn't realize that it has to do with what they allow.
They were not allowing themselves TO allow themselves to feel better.
I wasn't either. I still have to practice that.
I still have to practice all of it. It's remembering it that counts, though.
That is half the battle right there.
Remembering the options that are avaiable because we often forget.
But we have to realize them before so that we know they are there.
Otherwise they won't be considered options to us.
We'll be oblivious to the options. If we don't know they ARE options.
That's part of the reason I write about this stuff.
Because 1) It helps me to remember.
2) It helps increase people's awareness
When it helps me remember, and I remember,
it makes it easier to choose from my options.
Because I now have more than I had before.
It's not that they weren't there before, I just couldn't see them
and I didn't know they were there.
Like having to feel your way around in the dark.
There are things there, that have always been there,
but if you can't see them, you forget they are there.
Also, when you can't see them, you don't even know they are there.
All I'm doing is telling you they are there.
We can stumble upon them like I did. Most of them.
Or someone can just tell you. Hey, look over there... You'll find (whatever).
Just telling you what I see. If you see it, too, cool.
If you don't, you can keep looking.
I can't tell you what to see. I can only tell you what I see.
there is no possibility."
- John Hanley
Commitment requires courage
and a willingness.... To be vulnerable.
I know I keep bringing this up, but it is a pretty good example.
When I quit drinking, I was commiting to sobriety,
but it was a pretty big commitment, at first.
Because it was a huge change for me.
It was a time that I was extremely vulnerable.
Every time I was in the midst of a huge change, I was very vulnerable.
I've written about this before.
It's just a reference to an experience I can speak from.
It took a lot of courage to even admit to myself I had a problem with drinking.
And with alcohol. With the inability to control my thinking and feeling
especially when I was drunk. It was so much harder.
Because my senses were screwed up.
I couldn't think straight.
So you can imagine that my feelings were all over the map.
And people tend to behave according to how they feel.
Anyway, it goes:
"Actions without commitment encourages people to doubt our intentions
and withold their support."
I get this a lot. People doubt and question my intentions all the time.
They think I want something from them.
Or I'm only doing (whatever) because I want something.
Maybe because a lot of other people are like this.
Maybe others have their agendas or whatever.
I can be nice without wanting anything other than to be nice.
But when they think I'm being too nice, they get freaked out.
Like I shouldn't be THAT nice because I have no commitment to them
and they have no commitment to me.
I like to be nice just to be nice. I don't want anything from anyone.
Yeah, it bugs me that people think it means I want something from them.
Like "Can't I just do something nice without wanting anything?!"
There doesn't have to be a catch to everything.
We can actually experience results and make a positive difference
by creating more of what we want.
I keep having to practice at this stuff because it doesn't come naturally, yet.
Allowing myself to feel good just because it feels good to feel good.
That's a good enough reason. I don't need reasons. I used to think I did.
I couldn't find them. Even when I looked for them.
And the harder I looked for them, the harder they were to find.
And I used to think I had no reasons and I didn't have the reasons I wanted to have
so that I could feel the way I wanted to feel.
So I kept feeling the same way I always felt. Because I had no reasons
to feel any better than I did. I didn't have (whatever).
I'll feel better when I'm experiencing (whatever). When I have (whatever).
Even when I had certain things that I thought would 'make' me 'happy'
I wasn't happy because I didn't know how to be happy.
Because I just never allowed myself to feel the feelings.
So I didn't appreciate the things I had because they weren't 'producing'
the feelings I expected them to 'produce.' If that makes sense.
Like my rant about not waiting on anyone anymore.
That has a lot to do with my thinking
that I'll be happy when I have quality friendships.
But, to have really deep meaningful connections...
People have to be willing to go there with me.
People can only meet me as deeply as they have met themselves.
I can only meet people as deeply as I've met myself.
I can meet myself on a deeper level, I have blocks preventing me.
People have blocks preventing them.
So can I take it personally that people have blocks
preventing them from having deep connections with people?
Usually that closeness and that strong a bond freaks people out.
They can't handle it. Just like I couldn't handle certain things.
There are still things I can't handle or even grasp let alone handle.
Yes, I can see some things that others might not see,
but others can see some things that I have yet to see.
So I listen. I ask. I explore those options.
I open my mind to new things.
I expound on the fact that things aren't the way I thought they were
and things aren't the way I was taught they were.
It's moving from a skewed paradigm to a renewed paradigm.
And yeah, I'll inadvertently push people away
who aren't vibing on the same 'wave length' as I am.
People with a lower energy will vibe on whatever frequency they are at.
And yeah, I've had a low vibe for most of my life.
I know all about that low vibe. I try to raise it.
It doesn't always increase when I try to increase it.
Sometimes it does.
Sometimes "I feel good because it feels good to feel good" is enough.
When I allow it to be enough.
All the times I wasn't enough for others
was because they weren't allowing me to be enough.
But they didn't realize that it has to do with what they allow.
They were not allowing themselves TO allow themselves to feel better.
I wasn't either. I still have to practice that.
I still have to practice all of it. It's remembering it that counts, though.
That is half the battle right there.
Remembering the options that are avaiable because we often forget.
But we have to realize them before so that we know they are there.
Otherwise they won't be considered options to us.
We'll be oblivious to the options. If we don't know they ARE options.
That's part of the reason I write about this stuff.
Because 1) It helps me to remember.
2) It helps increase people's awareness
When it helps me remember, and I remember,
it makes it easier to choose from my options.
Because I now have more than I had before.
It's not that they weren't there before, I just couldn't see them
and I didn't know they were there.
Like having to feel your way around in the dark.
There are things there, that have always been there,
but if you can't see them, you forget they are there.
Also, when you can't see them, you don't even know they are there.
All I'm doing is telling you they are there.
We can stumble upon them like I did. Most of them.
Or someone can just tell you. Hey, look over there... You'll find (whatever).
Just telling you what I see. If you see it, too, cool.
If you don't, you can keep looking.
I can't tell you what to see. I can only tell you what I see.
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