I've never mentioned this before, but the number 15 is my favorite number.
I'm not even sure why, but it is. I decided on it when I was very young.
Possibly has something to do with my Grandmother being born on the 15th,
or her being one of 15 children in her family. (Only one is still alive, the eldest).
I wrote to her yesterday, my mother's Aunt.
I had mentioned it to someone who suggested that I do it sooner rather than later.
After all, she'll be 105 this month.
Time does run out even when we think we will still have some.
We never know how much time we actually have.
Sometimes mere minutes.
So strike while the iron is HOT. NOW. While you CAN.
While you can still tell someone you love them.
There are people I wish I could tell that I love them.
I texted my brother to tell him that I love him, once. He did not reply.
So I asked him if he got my text. He said that he did but didn't know what to say.
At least I took the chance to tell him.
Also texted my other brother that I love him, he texted back that he loves me, too.
Sometimes you'll get a response, sometimes you won't.
The response shouldn't be the reason.
People regret not taking the chances they had to say things they never got to say.
Especially when they finally realize what people really meant to them.
Anyway, started writing about this chapter lastnight. With the indulgence stuff.
So more indulgence stuff today. It is interesting to look at it.
Because most have never looked at it before.
It's like going somewhere you've never been before, seeing all the sites.
When I went to visit someone in another province,
I was always looking around at everything that he'd seen a million times,
but he admitted he hadn't really 'looked' at it.
Things can be in front of our faces, but have we really 'seen' them?
"Seeing" it means really acknowledging it.
I get it though, there are things I've seen here that I've seen a million times
that I probably haven't really "seen" before.
It's like this when we are examining our own lives.
"Seeing" things for the first time. Even being "shocked" by what we "see."
No matter what it is that we "see."
Like living near the ocean and you've seen it a million times,
but you take someone to see it for their first time.
Then you both "see" it as you "experience" it together.
Anyway, about indulging... We indulge in many things.
The examples given in this book are:
Laziness, depression, fear, paranoia, being busy, avoiding things,
procrastination, attacking (yourself & others), criticizing (yourself & others),
even gossip, staying in bed, etc.
There are many things, not just indulging whims and desires, or urges.
We indulge in ourselves and our patterns, and habits. Habitually.
"Any attitude, feeling, or tendency of your personality
can be used as an indulgence."
We still do it even when we know it's just our personality,
something we picked up along the way that serves no real purpose.
"How can you free yourself when you keep indulging yourself?"
Moreover, "How can others free you when they keep indulging you?"
"To free yourself means doing what you need to do to understand yourself
and to understand your patterns. Including your patterns of indulgence."
Some may use this information about indulgence
to indulge in critizing themselves and criticize indulgence itself.
That isn't the point of 'the work.' It's not for that.
It's to become AWARE so that you can recognize and acknowledge the patterns.
The patterns that are unhealthy, that cause you to suffer.
Indulgence in and of itself isn't bad. It depends on what you indulge in.
If it is unhealthy, it can be seen as 'bad.'
If it is healthy, it can be seen as 'good.'
Like how I like to indulge in reading a good book.
A book I can learn something from.
Maybe I indulge in reading for other reasons other than just education.
Maybe I read when I 'should' or 'could' be doing other things.
That isn't the point, though.
Indulgence isn't just for hedonists or even about hedonism.
It can be a tool when paired with diligence.
Tools are only as useful as how they are used.
When tools are being used as toys, they are just play things.
When tools are being used as tools, they are 'work' things.
And best of all, they will work FOR you
rather than against you.
Today's quote speaks to this:
"Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you
where there were only walls."
- Joseph Campbell
It speaks to indulgence. Because to follow your bliss is like indulging.
Except that what most people find blissful can keep them trapped.
And being trapped isn't blissful.
Like "Ignorance is bliss." Is it? Truly? Or is it just ignorance?"
People indulge in ignorance all the time.
Because they don't WANT to see the truth.
The truth can be painful. Yes, it is painful to have illusions stripped away.
What we thought was true... When all this time it wasn't. It was an illusion.
It can be painful to realize we've been lied to all that time.
It can be painful to realize we've been lying to ourselves all that time.
It can be painful to realize we've lied to others without even realizing it.
Because our whole identity gets stripped away with those illusions.
We no longer see ourselves the way we always have.
We no longer have what we used to identify with.
But we never needed to identify with it.
It never had anything to do with who we actually are.
But when we realize that "this isn't how it really is"
We suddenly realize that "this isn't who we really are."
Like a kid thinking that cartoons are real.
Because they are representations of real things.
Like how the cartoon dog represents an actual dog and actual dogs are real.
Except the cartoon is a depiction of the dog.
It was a really painful day for my son when I told him that cartoons are not real.
All his favorite cartoon characters were real to him. Even heros to him.
His false perception was shattered. I felt the same way.
But I couldn't let him grow up to keep believing something that isn't true.
He had to know one day, some way.
It was heartbreaking to see him heartbroken.
But this is the kind of thing I'm talking about.
About illusions getting stripped away.
We can keep believing that cartoons are real.
Or that whatever we believe is real (which isn't) is real (when it isn't).
Most of us believed certain things all our lives.
Society wouldn't lie to us.... (Sarcasm)
We can see this from that example and that's the best one I've got.
We can see how cartoons are just drawings projected in a cerain way
to make them seem real.
And in our innocence, we believe that they are.
When we are told over and over and over and over that they are not real
and even shown evidence that they are not real,
and refuse to believe that they are not real, that is ignorance.
I understand that most people prefer to be ignorant. Or remain ignorant.
I get how they want to protect their illusions.
It's like refusing to wake up because they prefer their dream over reality.
Except how do they know they would rather perfer it?
If they don't know what is really real,
how do they know that their dreams are better than the real thing?
Like saying "I prefer my idea of it, my concept that I've constructed
over how it actually is. Without any thought to how it actually is."
Like saying "I prefer this pile of sh*t over this rainbow
because I know this pile of sh*t is real and the rainbow isn't."
Maybe they only think the rainbow isn't real because all they've had
was their pile of sh*t. With the flies and the stench.
We can look at it like "how can they miss something they've never had?"
But they can miss out on what they've never had. We all have.
The good news is that just because you haven't had it before,
doesn't mean that you can't.
But it often means that they have to give up their pile of sh*t to get the rainbow.
Most are unwilling to do that. It's sad, but that's reality.
Most people are unreal. Yet they think they are real. Which is also sad.
So we can prefer our illusions all we want to,
but when we identify with our illusions, we aren't being real.
Not saying those who prefer their piles of sh*t are pieces of sh*t,
I just think it's sh*tty to prefer piles of sh*t.
And then pretend like they don't stink.
They do. I've got a pretty good sense of smell.
Anyway, there's more to this indulgence stuff. I went off on a tangent.
But I'm glad that I did because I think I've made my points.
Sometimes it is obvious.
Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to "see."
No matter how many people tell us countless times.
Then we think "I've heard it all before...."
Yes, but did you "hear" it? Were you "listening?"
Or was the only thing you heard
the flies buzzing around your pile of sh*t?
I get it though, I refused to listen to some people.
Especially when they kept saying sh*tty things.
"Why should I listen to this guy?"
"Why should I listen to her?"
Well it all depends on what's being said
and the context in which it's being said.
People can take things too literally and take things out of context.
I just use examples and analogies to help put it into another context.
I'm not even sure why, but it is. I decided on it when I was very young.
Possibly has something to do with my Grandmother being born on the 15th,
or her being one of 15 children in her family. (Only one is still alive, the eldest).
I wrote to her yesterday, my mother's Aunt.
I had mentioned it to someone who suggested that I do it sooner rather than later.
After all, she'll be 105 this month.
Time does run out even when we think we will still have some.
We never know how much time we actually have.
Sometimes mere minutes.
So strike while the iron is HOT. NOW. While you CAN.
While you can still tell someone you love them.
There are people I wish I could tell that I love them.
I texted my brother to tell him that I love him, once. He did not reply.
So I asked him if he got my text. He said that he did but didn't know what to say.
At least I took the chance to tell him.
Also texted my other brother that I love him, he texted back that he loves me, too.
Sometimes you'll get a response, sometimes you won't.
The response shouldn't be the reason.
People regret not taking the chances they had to say things they never got to say.
Especially when they finally realize what people really meant to them.
Anyway, started writing about this chapter lastnight. With the indulgence stuff.
So more indulgence stuff today. It is interesting to look at it.
Because most have never looked at it before.
It's like going somewhere you've never been before, seeing all the sites.
When I went to visit someone in another province,
I was always looking around at everything that he'd seen a million times,
but he admitted he hadn't really 'looked' at it.
Things can be in front of our faces, but have we really 'seen' them?
"Seeing" it means really acknowledging it.
I get it though, there are things I've seen here that I've seen a million times
that I probably haven't really "seen" before.
It's like this when we are examining our own lives.
"Seeing" things for the first time. Even being "shocked" by what we "see."
No matter what it is that we "see."
Like living near the ocean and you've seen it a million times,
but you take someone to see it for their first time.
Then you both "see" it as you "experience" it together.
Anyway, about indulging... We indulge in many things.
The examples given in this book are:
Laziness, depression, fear, paranoia, being busy, avoiding things,
procrastination, attacking (yourself & others), criticizing (yourself & others),
even gossip, staying in bed, etc.
There are many things, not just indulging whims and desires, or urges.
We indulge in ourselves and our patterns, and habits. Habitually.
"Any attitude, feeling, or tendency of your personality
can be used as an indulgence."
We still do it even when we know it's just our personality,
something we picked up along the way that serves no real purpose.
"How can you free yourself when you keep indulging yourself?"
Moreover, "How can others free you when they keep indulging you?"
"To free yourself means doing what you need to do to understand yourself
and to understand your patterns. Including your patterns of indulgence."
Some may use this information about indulgence
to indulge in critizing themselves and criticize indulgence itself.
That isn't the point of 'the work.' It's not for that.
It's to become AWARE so that you can recognize and acknowledge the patterns.
The patterns that are unhealthy, that cause you to suffer.
Indulgence in and of itself isn't bad. It depends on what you indulge in.
If it is unhealthy, it can be seen as 'bad.'
If it is healthy, it can be seen as 'good.'
Like how I like to indulge in reading a good book.
A book I can learn something from.
Maybe I indulge in reading for other reasons other than just education.
Maybe I read when I 'should' or 'could' be doing other things.
That isn't the point, though.
Indulgence isn't just for hedonists or even about hedonism.
It can be a tool when paired with diligence.
Tools are only as useful as how they are used.
When tools are being used as toys, they are just play things.
When tools are being used as tools, they are 'work' things.
And best of all, they will work FOR you
rather than against you.
Today's quote speaks to this:
"Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you
where there were only walls."
- Joseph Campbell
It speaks to indulgence. Because to follow your bliss is like indulging.
Except that what most people find blissful can keep them trapped.
And being trapped isn't blissful.
Like "Ignorance is bliss." Is it? Truly? Or is it just ignorance?"
People indulge in ignorance all the time.
Because they don't WANT to see the truth.
The truth can be painful. Yes, it is painful to have illusions stripped away.
What we thought was true... When all this time it wasn't. It was an illusion.
It can be painful to realize we've been lied to all that time.
It can be painful to realize we've been lying to ourselves all that time.
It can be painful to realize we've lied to others without even realizing it.
Because our whole identity gets stripped away with those illusions.
We no longer see ourselves the way we always have.
We no longer have what we used to identify with.
But we never needed to identify with it.
It never had anything to do with who we actually are.
But when we realize that "this isn't how it really is"
We suddenly realize that "this isn't who we really are."
Like a kid thinking that cartoons are real.
Because they are representations of real things.
Like how the cartoon dog represents an actual dog and actual dogs are real.
Except the cartoon is a depiction of the dog.
It was a really painful day for my son when I told him that cartoons are not real.
All his favorite cartoon characters were real to him. Even heros to him.
His false perception was shattered. I felt the same way.
But I couldn't let him grow up to keep believing something that isn't true.
He had to know one day, some way.
It was heartbreaking to see him heartbroken.
But this is the kind of thing I'm talking about.
About illusions getting stripped away.
We can keep believing that cartoons are real.
Or that whatever we believe is real (which isn't) is real (when it isn't).
Most of us believed certain things all our lives.
Society wouldn't lie to us.... (Sarcasm)
We can see this from that example and that's the best one I've got.
We can see how cartoons are just drawings projected in a cerain way
to make them seem real.
And in our innocence, we believe that they are.
When we are told over and over and over and over that they are not real
and even shown evidence that they are not real,
and refuse to believe that they are not real, that is ignorance.
I understand that most people prefer to be ignorant. Or remain ignorant.
I get how they want to protect their illusions.
It's like refusing to wake up because they prefer their dream over reality.
Except how do they know they would rather perfer it?
If they don't know what is really real,
how do they know that their dreams are better than the real thing?
Like saying "I prefer my idea of it, my concept that I've constructed
over how it actually is. Without any thought to how it actually is."
Like saying "I prefer this pile of sh*t over this rainbow
because I know this pile of sh*t is real and the rainbow isn't."
Maybe they only think the rainbow isn't real because all they've had
was their pile of sh*t. With the flies and the stench.
We can look at it like "how can they miss something they've never had?"
But they can miss out on what they've never had. We all have.
The good news is that just because you haven't had it before,
doesn't mean that you can't.
But it often means that they have to give up their pile of sh*t to get the rainbow.
Most are unwilling to do that. It's sad, but that's reality.
Most people are unreal. Yet they think they are real. Which is also sad.
So we can prefer our illusions all we want to,
but when we identify with our illusions, we aren't being real.
Not saying those who prefer their piles of sh*t are pieces of sh*t,
I just think it's sh*tty to prefer piles of sh*t.
And then pretend like they don't stink.
They do. I've got a pretty good sense of smell.
Anyway, there's more to this indulgence stuff. I went off on a tangent.
But I'm glad that I did because I think I've made my points.
Sometimes it is obvious.
Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to "see."
No matter how many people tell us countless times.
Then we think "I've heard it all before...."
Yes, but did you "hear" it? Were you "listening?"
Or was the only thing you heard
the flies buzzing around your pile of sh*t?
I get it though, I refused to listen to some people.
Especially when they kept saying sh*tty things.
"Why should I listen to this guy?"
"Why should I listen to her?"
Well it all depends on what's being said
and the context in which it's being said.
People can take things too literally and take things out of context.
I just use examples and analogies to help put it into another context.
No comments:
Post a Comment