I'm nearing the end of this book. It has taken me months to read it.
I started it in February,
then set it aside to read another book, then picked it up again.
Been taking breaks from reading to write and to chat and other stuff.
As so I should. I can't read 24/7. Even if I wanted to.
It helps me distract myself from the pain (it's pretty bad tonight).
Over the last 10 years or so, I've taken breaks from 'the work.'
I allowed myself to get distracted. Delightfully and otherwise.
Like every time I tried dating.
Two long term relationships in the last 10 years.
I spend a long time single between relationships. Like 2 - 5 years.
Not by choice, but this time, it's not the worst thing.
So... This part of the book was talking about how certain paths
can be a distraction. Distracting us FROM one path.
How certain aspects of 'the work' are like facets of a diamond.
Which is how this book got its name: Diamond Heart.
The method they teach is called "The Diamond Approach."
They look at the facets as perspectives
and don't focus on any particular aspect. They are all part of the whole.
It can be experienced from all different angles, the facets.
They say that there are certain aspects of the attitude, but the attitude is one part.
An attitude, an understanding, and a perception...
Without these, 'the work' is really hard. I've even given up a few times.
Because I couldn't understand this stuff. It's hard when we don't understand.
I still struggle with my conditioning. Every day. Some days are worse than others.
Distractions can help me when I am struggling
because I need breaks from the struggling.
Sometimes I need help from others. Fresh perspectives...
Helps me change my perception and my attitude,
helps me come to a better understanding.
When it's hard, it's not as effective. Even ineffective.
When it's easier, it's more effective. Makes sense.
Each facet has a corresponding deficiency. Or "hole."
Anyway, the 'hole' that is present all the time is 'indulgence.'
Which is what permits the 'weak' part of us
to 'run' the 'strong' part of us.
It's us allowing the 'unhealthy' part of us to 'control' our lives
when we already know that it is the 'unhealthy' part of us.
Indulgence is being lazy about doing the things
we know we should be doing and have to do.
Which lets our automatic tendencies 'dominate' and 'run' our lives.
One thing this makes me think of right away
is that when a person has always been indulged by others.
Especially their parents, they think everyone should indulge them.
They live very unhealthy lives and have unhealthy relationships
because it is unrealistic to be indulged by everyone all the time.
It does not let them grow. It lets them stagnate.
It impedes any growth and prolongs their stagnantion and resignation.
They even grow to resent people who refuse to indulge them.
Just as they would resent a parent for refusing to indulge them.
The teacher says that in the very beginning, people refuse to look at
what kind of a mess they've made of their lives because they'd be traumatized
by the trauma and drama they created for themselves.
It's kind of like walking into a hoarder's house for the first time.
It is shocking. Even too shocking for anyone to handle at first.
But the hoarder has become accustomed to living that way.
They might know it is unhealthy and that it's bad,
but they don't understand how unhealthy or how bad it really is.
It's like that because they've ignored it for so long and 'normalized' it.
Even tried to 'rationalize' what anyone else would call 'irrational.'
Refused to take responsibility and outright denied their role in it.
We can see how hoarders do this. It makes sense.
When there is physical baggage and junk and garbage everywhere.
But people don't see how most people do this
with their mental, emotional, and psychological baggage, junk, and garbage.
It's easier to see when there is a physical representation of it.
It's not as easy to see our issues, because they aren't tissues or newspapers,
or empty tubes or wrappers. Laying scattered everywhere.
Yet our baggage piles up. Our issues. All our inner crap.
Sometimes we have so much inner crap that we have outer crap.
One is inner hoarding, one is outer hoarding.
Sometimes it can be both. But only one has the stigma.
The thing is that even when they realize it, and want help,
it takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of energy, and resources.
Even then, it is overwhelming and most do not know where to start.
Most never get started because they don't know where to start.
So they don't get started at all. Then it gets worse and worse.
I've had these kinds of issues. Not knowing where to start or what to do.
The teacher made a good point in this chapter.
He says that although we get the tools, information, and understanding,
we don't have complete commitment or do our due diligence.
We indulge in our tendancies and habits.
Even though we know that these tendancies and habits
are detrimental to our development, growth, freedom, expansion etc.
Even to our overall health.
We know it is a problem, but we keep doing it.
Everyone does it, in their own ways.
Maybe they don't hoard but are lazy.
Maybe they only do the bare minimum
and try to get away with not doing anything more.
Maybe even less than the bare minimum and expect others to pick up their slack.
When we observe ourselves, we can determine the patterns we have,
but we keep following them because we don't know how to be
any other way than how we are. How we've become. Over time.
So indulgence becomes more important than diligence.
I started it in February,
then set it aside to read another book, then picked it up again.
Been taking breaks from reading to write and to chat and other stuff.
As so I should. I can't read 24/7. Even if I wanted to.
It helps me distract myself from the pain (it's pretty bad tonight).
Over the last 10 years or so, I've taken breaks from 'the work.'
I allowed myself to get distracted. Delightfully and otherwise.
Like every time I tried dating.
Two long term relationships in the last 10 years.
I spend a long time single between relationships. Like 2 - 5 years.
Not by choice, but this time, it's not the worst thing.
So... This part of the book was talking about how certain paths
can be a distraction. Distracting us FROM one path.
How certain aspects of 'the work' are like facets of a diamond.
Which is how this book got its name: Diamond Heart.
The method they teach is called "The Diamond Approach."
They look at the facets as perspectives
and don't focus on any particular aspect. They are all part of the whole.
It can be experienced from all different angles, the facets.
They say that there are certain aspects of the attitude, but the attitude is one part.
An attitude, an understanding, and a perception...
Without these, 'the work' is really hard. I've even given up a few times.
Because I couldn't understand this stuff. It's hard when we don't understand.
I still struggle with my conditioning. Every day. Some days are worse than others.
Distractions can help me when I am struggling
because I need breaks from the struggling.
Sometimes I need help from others. Fresh perspectives...
Helps me change my perception and my attitude,
helps me come to a better understanding.
When it's hard, it's not as effective. Even ineffective.
When it's easier, it's more effective. Makes sense.
Each facet has a corresponding deficiency. Or "hole."
Anyway, the 'hole' that is present all the time is 'indulgence.'
Which is what permits the 'weak' part of us
to 'run' the 'strong' part of us.
It's us allowing the 'unhealthy' part of us to 'control' our lives
when we already know that it is the 'unhealthy' part of us.
Indulgence is being lazy about doing the things
we know we should be doing and have to do.
Which lets our automatic tendencies 'dominate' and 'run' our lives.
One thing this makes me think of right away
is that when a person has always been indulged by others.
Especially their parents, they think everyone should indulge them.
They live very unhealthy lives and have unhealthy relationships
because it is unrealistic to be indulged by everyone all the time.
It does not let them grow. It lets them stagnate.
It impedes any growth and prolongs their stagnantion and resignation.
They even grow to resent people who refuse to indulge them.
Just as they would resent a parent for refusing to indulge them.
The teacher says that in the very beginning, people refuse to look at
what kind of a mess they've made of their lives because they'd be traumatized
by the trauma and drama they created for themselves.
It's kind of like walking into a hoarder's house for the first time.
It is shocking. Even too shocking for anyone to handle at first.
But the hoarder has become accustomed to living that way.
They might know it is unhealthy and that it's bad,
but they don't understand how unhealthy or how bad it really is.
It's like that because they've ignored it for so long and 'normalized' it.
Even tried to 'rationalize' what anyone else would call 'irrational.'
Refused to take responsibility and outright denied their role in it.
We can see how hoarders do this. It makes sense.
When there is physical baggage and junk and garbage everywhere.
But people don't see how most people do this
with their mental, emotional, and psychological baggage, junk, and garbage.
It's easier to see when there is a physical representation of it.
It's not as easy to see our issues, because they aren't tissues or newspapers,
or empty tubes or wrappers. Laying scattered everywhere.
Yet our baggage piles up. Our issues. All our inner crap.
Sometimes we have so much inner crap that we have outer crap.
One is inner hoarding, one is outer hoarding.
Sometimes it can be both. But only one has the stigma.
The thing is that even when they realize it, and want help,
it takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of energy, and resources.
Even then, it is overwhelming and most do not know where to start.
Most never get started because they don't know where to start.
So they don't get started at all. Then it gets worse and worse.
I've had these kinds of issues. Not knowing where to start or what to do.
The teacher made a good point in this chapter.
He says that although we get the tools, information, and understanding,
we don't have complete commitment or do our due diligence.
We indulge in our tendancies and habits.
Even though we know that these tendancies and habits
are detrimental to our development, growth, freedom, expansion etc.
Even to our overall health.
We know it is a problem, but we keep doing it.
Everyone does it, in their own ways.
Maybe they don't hoard but are lazy.
Maybe they only do the bare minimum
and try to get away with not doing anything more.
Maybe even less than the bare minimum and expect others to pick up their slack.
When we observe ourselves, we can determine the patterns we have,
but we keep following them because we don't know how to be
any other way than how we are. How we've become. Over time.
So indulgence becomes more important than diligence.
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