Tonight we watched a show called "My Diet is Better Than Yours."
It was one of those weight loss shows,
but it was supposed to be about nutrition.
They focused more on the fitness and weight loss portion of it.
Nutrition is the most important part in it.
I can say that I haven't been as healthy most of my life
as I am now and have been the last several months.
My parents haven't had a lot of money when I was a kid.
We ended up eating a lot of junk. Because it was cheap.
Then, as an adult, I didn't have a lot of money (still don't)
so I resorted to eating a lot of junk. I didn't know any better.
And depression meant I didn't care most of the time what I ate.
When I drank, I consumed extra calories.
What people don't always remember is that there is a lot of sugar in alcohol.
It also affected my skin.
My complexion was the worst when I used to drink.
Plus the stress of a relationship that wasn't working.
Added to the depression caused by the drinking itself.
When I was in college, I lost 70 pounds. It took 2 years.
I managed to put some of it back on, then lost it again last year.
On top of quitting drinking, I made other changes to my life.
I cut certain things out of my diet.
When I first quit drinking, to satisfy my sugar cravings
and my urge to 'drink' I drank lots of pop.
I rarely drink pop anymore. I still do, but not as often.
The other foods I rarely touch now are:
French fries, chips, and pizza.
I switched from white bread to whole grain bread.
That one was hard because I never liked whole grain bread.
White bread has sugar in it, and the flour is bleached to make it white.
I can't remember the last time I went to McDonald's.
I used to go maybe once a week.
I wouldn't mind going once more,
just to say I haven't been since such and such a date,
and I kind of miss it. But I do feel healthier.
Tonight we had burgers at home.
The burgers themselves were 4 for under $7
We had onions, garlic, and swiss cheese on them.
I had a tad of mayo and my boyfriend had some hummus on his.
He hates mayo. My son does, too.
We had a salad with just lettuce, and tomatoes.
With a dressing of a bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
Also some mashed potatoes.
My boyfriend is really into health foods.
Whole wheat and whole foods.
He thinks eating healthy affects other aspects of health.
Like his sinus problems.
He reads labels on everything in the store. Drives me crazy.
I just want to do the shopping and get the F out of there.
I don't want to spend extra time waiting while he reads everything.
Then tell me why it's 'bad.'
We once had a fight about yogurt.
I wanted some and he kept telling me what he thought about it.
I didn't ask him what he thought about it and I just wanted some.
Like he was trying to make me feel bad for wanting it or something.
So I got it anyway,
and told him what I thought about him telling me what he thought about it.
He likes when I make peanut butter cookies, but he doesn't realize
how much sugar goes into those. I don't tell him things like this
because I just let him enjoy what he enjoys.
And I don't say anything when he decides to have 6 cookies in one night.
He has come a long way though. He lost 100 pounds in 1 year.
I guess all the health stuff he is nuts about does work.
It just drives me nuts.
Whole wheat everything. Bread, buns, pasta...
I'm surprised my kid ate whole wheat pasta.
My son is a picky eater. It drives me nuts.
He won't eat eggs, or fruit. Half the time I don't know what to feed him.
He eats a lot of junk with his father. Poutine, pizza... ugh.
I want my kid to eat healthier, but he just refuses.
He just wants junk all the time and his dad lets him eat it.
His dad had a heart attack before he was 40.
That was 7 years ago.
So you'd think that coming minutes away from death
would make him think twice about junk food.
It hasn't. He doesn't care. Like he doesn't care about living or dying.
He literally almost died. You'd think that would make him think.
Make some changes to his health to stick around. For his kid
if not for anyone else... Then letting our kid eat whatever he wants...
Come Sunday he can't wait to get away from me.
Of course I want to be there for him, but he doesn't want me.
It hurts like I can't even put into words.
He says I annoy him. Like coming to see me is nothing but an annoyance.
So this is one of the reasons I don't write a lot about my son on here.
Because it's just painful wanting to be the mother I always wanted to be,
but not having that chance and being pushed away by both him and his father.
Sure his father never needed me, but he is still my son, too.
Anyway, I didn't start writing about that.
I was writing about nutrition and weight loss.
Last year, I was struggling with my weight. I was losing too much.
I was into fitness, but wasn't balancing it with nutrition.
I was running and skipping, burning more calories than I consumed.
At the lowest, I was 117 pounds. I was scared because that was less
than I weighed in high school. I was scared that I was going to keep dropping.
I used to cry when I saw my bones jutting out.
Thinking I was wasting away.
I used to cry on the phone to my boyfriend.
Who couldn't do anything to help me. He was on the other side of the country.
I gained some weight and almost ready to start exercising again.
I'm eating more, now. So it shouldn't be an issue.
Ready to break out my rope again and break a sweat.
When I started I could barely skip 8 times in a row.
It took maybe 4 or 5 months to get up to 50 times in a row.
But it started with 8.
That was after years of not skipping.
So what I did was 3 sets. That's all.
I'd add them up when I got home each time.
I went out 3 times a week at the same time each time.
At first it took me over an hour, then took me an hour.
I felt great after coming home from that.
Because of the endorphins. Dopamine.
That is what the doctors do not tell people.
The doctors just tell us to take anti-depressants.
They don't ever recommend eating better and regular exercise.
I've felt so much better after getting off those damn pills.
I'll never go back to those pills. Ever.
The hardest thing about being depressed is not having the 'energy'
to do the things we should be doing or wish we could do.
It's all about forcing our way through that feeling.
To do those things even if we feel we can't. Is what I've been learning.
People will always have excuses or 'reasons' why they 'can't'
Too tired, not enough time in the day... Etc.
If people have time to watch t.v, they have enough time to go for a walk.
Most people opt for the path of least resistance.
They want the easiest way out possible. People get lazy and complacent.
Instead of walking to the store, they'll drive.
Because it's easier. Faster, more convenient.
Instead of taking the stairs, they take the elevator.
To have energy, you have to spend it. Use it.
When I get angry or too anxious, I take my rope, go out, skip
Until I'm exhausted and just go take a nap.
I used to drink. Skipping is a better alternative. It's free.
Plus, you can do it in public without getting hassled by the cops. Haha.
So what if you can only do 4 now? Next time do 5. Build it up over time.
If all we have is time, why wouldn't it be on our side?
Besides, the healthier we become, the more time we will have.
It was one of those weight loss shows,
but it was supposed to be about nutrition.
They focused more on the fitness and weight loss portion of it.
Nutrition is the most important part in it.
I can say that I haven't been as healthy most of my life
as I am now and have been the last several months.
My parents haven't had a lot of money when I was a kid.
We ended up eating a lot of junk. Because it was cheap.
Then, as an adult, I didn't have a lot of money (still don't)
so I resorted to eating a lot of junk. I didn't know any better.
And depression meant I didn't care most of the time what I ate.
When I drank, I consumed extra calories.
What people don't always remember is that there is a lot of sugar in alcohol.
It also affected my skin.
My complexion was the worst when I used to drink.
Plus the stress of a relationship that wasn't working.
Added to the depression caused by the drinking itself.
When I was in college, I lost 70 pounds. It took 2 years.
I managed to put some of it back on, then lost it again last year.
On top of quitting drinking, I made other changes to my life.
I cut certain things out of my diet.
When I first quit drinking, to satisfy my sugar cravings
and my urge to 'drink' I drank lots of pop.
I rarely drink pop anymore. I still do, but not as often.
The other foods I rarely touch now are:
French fries, chips, and pizza.
I switched from white bread to whole grain bread.
That one was hard because I never liked whole grain bread.
White bread has sugar in it, and the flour is bleached to make it white.
I can't remember the last time I went to McDonald's.
I used to go maybe once a week.
I wouldn't mind going once more,
just to say I haven't been since such and such a date,
and I kind of miss it. But I do feel healthier.
Tonight we had burgers at home.
The burgers themselves were 4 for under $7
We had onions, garlic, and swiss cheese on them.
I had a tad of mayo and my boyfriend had some hummus on his.
He hates mayo. My son does, too.
We had a salad with just lettuce, and tomatoes.
With a dressing of a bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
Also some mashed potatoes.
My boyfriend is really into health foods.
Whole wheat and whole foods.
He thinks eating healthy affects other aspects of health.
Like his sinus problems.
He reads labels on everything in the store. Drives me crazy.
I just want to do the shopping and get the F out of there.
I don't want to spend extra time waiting while he reads everything.
Then tell me why it's 'bad.'
We once had a fight about yogurt.
I wanted some and he kept telling me what he thought about it.
I didn't ask him what he thought about it and I just wanted some.
Like he was trying to make me feel bad for wanting it or something.
So I got it anyway,
and told him what I thought about him telling me what he thought about it.
He likes when I make peanut butter cookies, but he doesn't realize
how much sugar goes into those. I don't tell him things like this
because I just let him enjoy what he enjoys.
And I don't say anything when he decides to have 6 cookies in one night.
He has come a long way though. He lost 100 pounds in 1 year.
I guess all the health stuff he is nuts about does work.
It just drives me nuts.
Whole wheat everything. Bread, buns, pasta...
I'm surprised my kid ate whole wheat pasta.
My son is a picky eater. It drives me nuts.
He won't eat eggs, or fruit. Half the time I don't know what to feed him.
He eats a lot of junk with his father. Poutine, pizza... ugh.
I want my kid to eat healthier, but he just refuses.
He just wants junk all the time and his dad lets him eat it.
His dad had a heart attack before he was 40.
That was 7 years ago.
So you'd think that coming minutes away from death
would make him think twice about junk food.
It hasn't. He doesn't care. Like he doesn't care about living or dying.
He literally almost died. You'd think that would make him think.
Make some changes to his health to stick around. For his kid
if not for anyone else... Then letting our kid eat whatever he wants...
Come Sunday he can't wait to get away from me.
Of course I want to be there for him, but he doesn't want me.
It hurts like I can't even put into words.
He says I annoy him. Like coming to see me is nothing but an annoyance.
So this is one of the reasons I don't write a lot about my son on here.
Because it's just painful wanting to be the mother I always wanted to be,
but not having that chance and being pushed away by both him and his father.
Sure his father never needed me, but he is still my son, too.
Anyway, I didn't start writing about that.
I was writing about nutrition and weight loss.
Last year, I was struggling with my weight. I was losing too much.
I was into fitness, but wasn't balancing it with nutrition.
I was running and skipping, burning more calories than I consumed.
At the lowest, I was 117 pounds. I was scared because that was less
than I weighed in high school. I was scared that I was going to keep dropping.
I used to cry when I saw my bones jutting out.
Thinking I was wasting away.
I used to cry on the phone to my boyfriend.
Who couldn't do anything to help me. He was on the other side of the country.
I gained some weight and almost ready to start exercising again.
I'm eating more, now. So it shouldn't be an issue.
Ready to break out my rope again and break a sweat.
When I started I could barely skip 8 times in a row.
It took maybe 4 or 5 months to get up to 50 times in a row.
But it started with 8.
That was after years of not skipping.
So what I did was 3 sets. That's all.
I'd add them up when I got home each time.
I went out 3 times a week at the same time each time.
At first it took me over an hour, then took me an hour.
I felt great after coming home from that.
Because of the endorphins. Dopamine.
That is what the doctors do not tell people.
The doctors just tell us to take anti-depressants.
They don't ever recommend eating better and regular exercise.
I've felt so much better after getting off those damn pills.
I'll never go back to those pills. Ever.
The hardest thing about being depressed is not having the 'energy'
to do the things we should be doing or wish we could do.
It's all about forcing our way through that feeling.
To do those things even if we feel we can't. Is what I've been learning.
People will always have excuses or 'reasons' why they 'can't'
Too tired, not enough time in the day... Etc.
If people have time to watch t.v, they have enough time to go for a walk.
Most people opt for the path of least resistance.
They want the easiest way out possible. People get lazy and complacent.
Instead of walking to the store, they'll drive.
Because it's easier. Faster, more convenient.
Instead of taking the stairs, they take the elevator.
To have energy, you have to spend it. Use it.
When I get angry or too anxious, I take my rope, go out, skip
Until I'm exhausted and just go take a nap.
I used to drink. Skipping is a better alternative. It's free.
Plus, you can do it in public without getting hassled by the cops. Haha.
So what if you can only do 4 now? Next time do 5. Build it up over time.
If all we have is time, why wouldn't it be on our side?
Besides, the healthier we become, the more time we will have.
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