I've been trying to put some pieces back together for a long time now. Things were just not working before. Still not 100%, but closer to 50%. I started cleaning out my kitchen tonight, while I was doing my laundry. There'll be plenty of work to do tomorrow, as I just started.
Cleaned out my pantry, got all my dishes done. Planning on attacking all the corners, edges, EVERYTHING. That goes for the rest of my place. I want to have one big clean-out/clean-up. So that it'll be easier to maintain. One room I really need to clean is my bedroom. Since it is where I spend the most of my time. It's my makeshift living room as well. I don't have any furniture in my living room. Something tells me that I'm going to have to move from here. If not next year, then soon. I've lived here for 10 years so that's a pretty good run. Not sure what it will be like moving, when that does happen. Since it's been a really long time.
Been watching a show that I like, it's a mystery/drama type of show. It's more likely to be made for a young viewer audience, but I still watch it. So I've been 'earning' episodes by getting work done around here. As well as doing work on myself.
The last couple of nights, I've been working out. I am starting to get back into jogging. It's been a long time, 10 years or so since I was in shape. When I got out of college I was probably at my best, physically. I want to get it back. I want to push myself in all that I do so that I can keep the momentum that I had wanted for so long. Not sure why it is NOW that I started jogging again, but I'm glad I did. I'm not going running tonight, though, since I gotta work tonight and I need all my energy for that. Also, it's raining.
Been jogging to the top of the hill, where I like to just be alone like I used to. I've been bringing my speed rope with me. I'm getting back into that again. The first time was alright, but the second time I did much better. When there are people at the top of the hill, I go to another place. I don't like running or skipping anywhere that I can be seen. It just makes me feel weird. I used to jog to Bells Corners and back, but since I'm just starting again, I'm taking it easy.
It actually makes me feel better to go for a run, and skipping. If I keep at it for the rest of the month, I should be able to see some results. That is what I'm hoping for.
Y'know that saying about the cup being half full or half empty? There's another one I heard recently that was pretty awesome. It goes: A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, but an optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty. I guess I've been feeling increasingly optimistic. Which is always a good thing.
When I was cleaning my kitchen today, I kept seeing all these baby spiders. Y'know how certain animals or whatever do a migration thing where they go back to where they were born to have their babies? I think the same is true for spiders because... I think they have been building nests in the back of my refrigerator. I've had 3 or 4 fridges die on me in 10 years. Maybe their mechanisms are getting clogged with spiders and webs (nests). I like having spiders around to eat the flies. I haven't had ANY flies in the apartment this year. I'm wondering if the spiders were doing a better job than last year, or..... If the fact that it getting colder earlier this year had an effect on the fly population. Last year my kitchen looked like that room in The Amityville Horror movie. Seriously. Was freaky like that. Well, not AS many as that, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
It does seem cooler outside. It feel like fall started early this year. Does that mean there's going to be an early winter? I hope not! I'd be more inclined to accept an early winter ONLY IF it ended EARLY. The less snow the better. I'll have to find some way to keep up with my fitness during the winter. Maybe get a gym membership or something. I know those can be expensive. BUT I'm willing to reward myself for abstaining from alcohol. It's been close to 5 months for me. It feels good. Well, I've been feeling better and better because of the changes I've been making to myself and to my life. I'm making choices and something tells me that these are GOOD choices that I should have made a LONG time ago.
Not dating has been a big part of that. I finally get to work on myself and not worrying about fulfilling someone else's needs. Or worrying about building a relationship. I'm building myself UP! Building my new self and tearing down my old self. It does get lonely, but.... Now I can finally focus on what I needed to do all along.
Cleaned out my pantry, got all my dishes done. Planning on attacking all the corners, edges, EVERYTHING. That goes for the rest of my place. I want to have one big clean-out/clean-up. So that it'll be easier to maintain. One room I really need to clean is my bedroom. Since it is where I spend the most of my time. It's my makeshift living room as well. I don't have any furniture in my living room. Something tells me that I'm going to have to move from here. If not next year, then soon. I've lived here for 10 years so that's a pretty good run. Not sure what it will be like moving, when that does happen. Since it's been a really long time.
Been watching a show that I like, it's a mystery/drama type of show. It's more likely to be made for a young viewer audience, but I still watch it. So I've been 'earning' episodes by getting work done around here. As well as doing work on myself.
The last couple of nights, I've been working out. I am starting to get back into jogging. It's been a long time, 10 years or so since I was in shape. When I got out of college I was probably at my best, physically. I want to get it back. I want to push myself in all that I do so that I can keep the momentum that I had wanted for so long. Not sure why it is NOW that I started jogging again, but I'm glad I did. I'm not going running tonight, though, since I gotta work tonight and I need all my energy for that. Also, it's raining.
Been jogging to the top of the hill, where I like to just be alone like I used to. I've been bringing my speed rope with me. I'm getting back into that again. The first time was alright, but the second time I did much better. When there are people at the top of the hill, I go to another place. I don't like running or skipping anywhere that I can be seen. It just makes me feel weird. I used to jog to Bells Corners and back, but since I'm just starting again, I'm taking it easy.
It actually makes me feel better to go for a run, and skipping. If I keep at it for the rest of the month, I should be able to see some results. That is what I'm hoping for.
Y'know that saying about the cup being half full or half empty? There's another one I heard recently that was pretty awesome. It goes: A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, but an optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty. I guess I've been feeling increasingly optimistic. Which is always a good thing.
When I was cleaning my kitchen today, I kept seeing all these baby spiders. Y'know how certain animals or whatever do a migration thing where they go back to where they were born to have their babies? I think the same is true for spiders because... I think they have been building nests in the back of my refrigerator. I've had 3 or 4 fridges die on me in 10 years. Maybe their mechanisms are getting clogged with spiders and webs (nests). I like having spiders around to eat the flies. I haven't had ANY flies in the apartment this year. I'm wondering if the spiders were doing a better job than last year, or..... If the fact that it getting colder earlier this year had an effect on the fly population. Last year my kitchen looked like that room in The Amityville Horror movie. Seriously. Was freaky like that. Well, not AS many as that, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
It does seem cooler outside. It feel like fall started early this year. Does that mean there's going to be an early winter? I hope not! I'd be more inclined to accept an early winter ONLY IF it ended EARLY. The less snow the better. I'll have to find some way to keep up with my fitness during the winter. Maybe get a gym membership or something. I know those can be expensive. BUT I'm willing to reward myself for abstaining from alcohol. It's been close to 5 months for me. It feels good. Well, I've been feeling better and better because of the changes I've been making to myself and to my life. I'm making choices and something tells me that these are GOOD choices that I should have made a LONG time ago.
Not dating has been a big part of that. I finally get to work on myself and not worrying about fulfilling someone else's needs. Or worrying about building a relationship. I'm building myself UP! Building my new self and tearing down my old self. It does get lonely, but.... Now I can finally focus on what I needed to do all along.
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