Deposits are: A 'sum' of value placed and kept in an account, usually to gain interest.
Depletions are: A 'reduction' of a number or quantity of something.
I wrote about the different aspects in our lives in a previous post.
Physical
Mental
Spiritual
Emotional
Deposits are like depositing some money at a bank. Interest could be the interest you make off keeping your money in the account over long periods of time. Each aspect of life has its own account to make investments in. Each deposit is an asset. Each asset can assist you.
In one of my recent meetings, (I'm probably not supposed to talk about this) someone said that alcoholics are spiritually bankrupt. Because over the course of being an alcoholic, they invested much more in spirits (booze) than in the spiritual spirit. That's part of the reason, I guess that in AA, it is important to believe in a 'higher spirit'. A source of spirituality. To believe in something, you must also believe in the source of the thing which you believe in. Without the source, the existence would be questionable, and therefore it would be unbelievable. How can we believe in the unbelievable? By believing in the source of its existence, its existence becomes believable and therefore it becomes more believable. It does come down to the willingness to believe. Belief itself is a choice.
Deposits accumulate positivity over time. Depletions accumulate negativity over time.
Attention is a deposit you can make into any aspect account.
Neglect is a depletion from any aspect account.
The more attention you pay to any area of your life, the better it will be. It's not rocket science. Everything is yes or no, up or down, in or out, positive or negative. But also about balancing all of the aspects of all the aspects. Making conscious choices is a skill you develop. By being able to choose to make conscious choices and thereby developing the ability to consciously choose.
The key to making deposits with OTHERS is to understand, from their point of reference what deposits are to them. Like taking a bunch of bananas to a bank and asking them to deposit them in your bank account. The currency and consistency of the deposits matter to build something of greater value over time.
I think commitment is a form of attention. Attention is the ability to direct awareness. Commitment demonstrates awareness. Like making promises... When you make a promise, or a commitment. You are creating a hope. When that hope is created so is anticipation. When that promise or commitment is broken, then disillusionment sets in. Some people who make promises or commitments without the intention of keeping them create disillusionment and disappointment.
The key to changing how you deal with a situation is to change the paradigm. Disappointment can be overcome. But the trust lost due to constant disappointments has to be rebuilt.
The anticipation of the event is as great as the event itself. I know that feeling. I had a friend, who I still care for, who knew how much I enjoyed being with him. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing as long as we were together because it was an investment from him to me. Him investing attention and time in me. And that is all I ever wanted from him, that and clear communication. But communication is again about paying attention and making the time.
I tried to reach out to him and a bunch of times getting little or no response. So it seemed that my investments in him were not gaining interest from him. That little interest from him would have been a deposit for me. So in the end he decided to close the account which was our friendship.
The more he would fail to make or keep plans, or respond to me when I tried to make plans with him, the more he withdrew from my account.
Friendships and relationships work that way. The give and take thing. Just don't take more than you are giving, and don't give more than you're taking. Give what you take and take what you give. Also, the little things seem just like little things, but in fact, the little things ARE the BIG things. It's the little things that can mean so much to a person. Because it shows that you took the time to pay attention.
Fulfilling needs is a way of making deposits. I often think about when dependent people depend on deposits from others to feel like their needs are being met. Independence is depending on YOUR OWN deposits to meet YOUR OWN needs. Or desires, expectations. When a person depends too much on the deposits other people make in their accounts, they will not make any of their own deposits. When they learn to make their own deposits, the deposits from others will probably occur more due to the law of attraction.
Another deposit is clarifying your expectations. It's good to know what is expected of you by others and what you expect of yourself. The Depletion would be to have unclear expectations or violating expectations. This has a lot to do with the clear communication I wanted with my ex-friend. We both had expectations and because we didn't communicate clearly about how to meet those expectations or what not to do to violate those expectations, we are no longer friends.
If the expectations are not clear to start, each person will rely solely on their own expectations and hopes. When the other person doesn't meet those, it's a big withdrawal from the emotional account. Expectations are what define roles and goals. If we had clear communication and we had clear expectations, I wouldn't have felt so disrespected when he didn't meet the expectations I had. And he wouldn't have felt so disrespected when I didn't meet his.
Another type of deposit is kindness. Curtesy. Being appreciative. Being thankful and having gratitude. Often we are not thankful for what we have. Often we are envious because we want what someone else has.
There's also a loyalty deposit. Which counts as speaking about someone who is absent as though they were present.
Giving and receiving feedback is another emotional deposit. And always do it with an I message instead of a you message. Because the accusatory side of giving feedback is an emotional withdrawal. Accusations make people feel judged and that offends them. Patience played a huge part in why our friendship wasn't working because I was being impatient. Slow is fast, and fast is slow. The more time you take to achieve a goal, the faster you will achieve it. Because all the obstacles can be overcome. The more you rush things, the longer it will take because the obstacles will remain, and even more obstacles will develop.
Patience is a deposit of it's own because it is what you need to gain interest on your deposits. To keep all your deposits in there, and then add the interest to gain more interest etc. Like a savings account.
The other side of patience is persuasion. But patience can be seen as gentle persuasion. There is a such thing as being too patient as there is as being too persuasive. The greater influence you have on a person depends on the balance of patience and persuasion. Being too persuasive would be persistent or insistent. Because there's aggressiveness and assertiveness. Aggression is dominance and the flip side of dominance is dependence and the only thing one has to depend on are skills and abilities. To assert oneself is dependent upon that person's skills and abilities.
Another deposit is the ability to make amends. To apologize with sincerity. Just as powerful a deposit as apologizing is the ability to forgive. Even without the apology. If we can learn to automatically forgive someone, then the apology is just an extra bonus. I struggle with those two things... Patience and forgiveness. But these are things I am aware of so I can work on them. I couldn't work on them if I was unaware. Holding grudges works against us in a lot of ways. I have a hard time letting go when someone has violated my trust. I know that forgiving is like letting go. I don't know why it's so hard to let things go. Grudges can manifest in different ways in your life.
Our self esteem comes way too much from how others treat us so if we are offended we try to mentally protect our emotions with defense mechanisms like sarcasm and cynicism. If we had a strong sense of emotional security, we could easily forgive and see them differently daily, and give them new chances daily.
Depletions are: A 'reduction' of a number or quantity of something.
I wrote about the different aspects in our lives in a previous post.
Physical
Mental
Spiritual
Emotional
Deposits are like depositing some money at a bank. Interest could be the interest you make off keeping your money in the account over long periods of time. Each aspect of life has its own account to make investments in. Each deposit is an asset. Each asset can assist you.
In one of my recent meetings, (I'm probably not supposed to talk about this) someone said that alcoholics are spiritually bankrupt. Because over the course of being an alcoholic, they invested much more in spirits (booze) than in the spiritual spirit. That's part of the reason, I guess that in AA, it is important to believe in a 'higher spirit'. A source of spirituality. To believe in something, you must also believe in the source of the thing which you believe in. Without the source, the existence would be questionable, and therefore it would be unbelievable. How can we believe in the unbelievable? By believing in the source of its existence, its existence becomes believable and therefore it becomes more believable. It does come down to the willingness to believe. Belief itself is a choice.
Deposits accumulate positivity over time. Depletions accumulate negativity over time.
Attention is a deposit you can make into any aspect account.
Neglect is a depletion from any aspect account.
The more attention you pay to any area of your life, the better it will be. It's not rocket science. Everything is yes or no, up or down, in or out, positive or negative. But also about balancing all of the aspects of all the aspects. Making conscious choices is a skill you develop. By being able to choose to make conscious choices and thereby developing the ability to consciously choose.
The key to making deposits with OTHERS is to understand, from their point of reference what deposits are to them. Like taking a bunch of bananas to a bank and asking them to deposit them in your bank account. The currency and consistency of the deposits matter to build something of greater value over time.
I think commitment is a form of attention. Attention is the ability to direct awareness. Commitment demonstrates awareness. Like making promises... When you make a promise, or a commitment. You are creating a hope. When that hope is created so is anticipation. When that promise or commitment is broken, then disillusionment sets in. Some people who make promises or commitments without the intention of keeping them create disillusionment and disappointment.
The key to changing how you deal with a situation is to change the paradigm. Disappointment can be overcome. But the trust lost due to constant disappointments has to be rebuilt.
The anticipation of the event is as great as the event itself. I know that feeling. I had a friend, who I still care for, who knew how much I enjoyed being with him. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing as long as we were together because it was an investment from him to me. Him investing attention and time in me. And that is all I ever wanted from him, that and clear communication. But communication is again about paying attention and making the time.
I tried to reach out to him and a bunch of times getting little or no response. So it seemed that my investments in him were not gaining interest from him. That little interest from him would have been a deposit for me. So in the end he decided to close the account which was our friendship.
The more he would fail to make or keep plans, or respond to me when I tried to make plans with him, the more he withdrew from my account.
Friendships and relationships work that way. The give and take thing. Just don't take more than you are giving, and don't give more than you're taking. Give what you take and take what you give. Also, the little things seem just like little things, but in fact, the little things ARE the BIG things. It's the little things that can mean so much to a person. Because it shows that you took the time to pay attention.
Fulfilling needs is a way of making deposits. I often think about when dependent people depend on deposits from others to feel like their needs are being met. Independence is depending on YOUR OWN deposits to meet YOUR OWN needs. Or desires, expectations. When a person depends too much on the deposits other people make in their accounts, they will not make any of their own deposits. When they learn to make their own deposits, the deposits from others will probably occur more due to the law of attraction.
Another deposit is clarifying your expectations. It's good to know what is expected of you by others and what you expect of yourself. The Depletion would be to have unclear expectations or violating expectations. This has a lot to do with the clear communication I wanted with my ex-friend. We both had expectations and because we didn't communicate clearly about how to meet those expectations or what not to do to violate those expectations, we are no longer friends.
If the expectations are not clear to start, each person will rely solely on their own expectations and hopes. When the other person doesn't meet those, it's a big withdrawal from the emotional account. Expectations are what define roles and goals. If we had clear communication and we had clear expectations, I wouldn't have felt so disrespected when he didn't meet the expectations I had. And he wouldn't have felt so disrespected when I didn't meet his.
Another type of deposit is kindness. Curtesy. Being appreciative. Being thankful and having gratitude. Often we are not thankful for what we have. Often we are envious because we want what someone else has.
There's also a loyalty deposit. Which counts as speaking about someone who is absent as though they were present.
Giving and receiving feedback is another emotional deposit. And always do it with an I message instead of a you message. Because the accusatory side of giving feedback is an emotional withdrawal. Accusations make people feel judged and that offends them. Patience played a huge part in why our friendship wasn't working because I was being impatient. Slow is fast, and fast is slow. The more time you take to achieve a goal, the faster you will achieve it. Because all the obstacles can be overcome. The more you rush things, the longer it will take because the obstacles will remain, and even more obstacles will develop.
Patience is a deposit of it's own because it is what you need to gain interest on your deposits. To keep all your deposits in there, and then add the interest to gain more interest etc. Like a savings account.
The other side of patience is persuasion. But patience can be seen as gentle persuasion. There is a such thing as being too patient as there is as being too persuasive. The greater influence you have on a person depends on the balance of patience and persuasion. Being too persuasive would be persistent or insistent. Because there's aggressiveness and assertiveness. Aggression is dominance and the flip side of dominance is dependence and the only thing one has to depend on are skills and abilities. To assert oneself is dependent upon that person's skills and abilities.
Another deposit is the ability to make amends. To apologize with sincerity. Just as powerful a deposit as apologizing is the ability to forgive. Even without the apology. If we can learn to automatically forgive someone, then the apology is just an extra bonus. I struggle with those two things... Patience and forgiveness. But these are things I am aware of so I can work on them. I couldn't work on them if I was unaware. Holding grudges works against us in a lot of ways. I have a hard time letting go when someone has violated my trust. I know that forgiving is like letting go. I don't know why it's so hard to let things go. Grudges can manifest in different ways in your life.
Our self esteem comes way too much from how others treat us so if we are offended we try to mentally protect our emotions with defense mechanisms like sarcasm and cynicism. If we had a strong sense of emotional security, we could easily forgive and see them differently daily, and give them new chances daily.
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