I've been watching lots of videos lately on youtube. Motivational videos and whatnot. Some Ted Talk Videos, also. I found those interesting.
In those there were tips on change and things like this. Overcoming depression was one of the topics I was researching tonight. Because I've felt pretty depressed lately, and angry. I'm angry that I'm depressed and depressed that I'm angry. But being either of those is a waste of energy. Being both of those at the same time is even more of a waste of energy. Energy that I could be using to change my thoughts or something else.
To visualize is one of the tips from the videos. As well as the self-talk thing. I found the second book to the first book I'm reading, about choices. It's called What to Say When You're Talking to Yourself. Positive programming. The third thing was setting and reaching mini goals. The fourth was breathing.
The guy had at least 6 different videos. All with different tips. It all boiled down to being aware and changing your thoughts. I talked about this stuff in counselling. Actions and thoughts are the aspects that I can control. I can't control the results, the situation that arises from the results, or the feelings that arise from the situation. I can only change the thoughts that arise from my feelings. If I can control my thoughts, I can control the actions that arise from my thoughts.
The rate of thoughts is very fast. 300 - 1,000 thoughts per minute. Most of which we are unaware. They are automatic thoughts that come up whenever we feel a certain emotion. Just as emotions are often connected, so are thoughts. A string of automatic thoughts because they are most likely attached to each other.
Our thoughts affect our experience of life.
We have core needs like needing:
Safety,
comfort,
predictability,
to feel competent,
feel contributory,
feel worth and importance,
and significance
The inner critic we have inside us is where we get the self-doubt and the negativity. But often we use the self critic as a motivator to meet our needs. When we do this, we lose self-esteem etc.
The guy advised to:
Talk back to your inner critic,
Affirm yourself,
Think of better ways to meet your needs with healthy thinking.
He said: To gain confidence:
Stop comparing yourself to others,
keep your thoughts positive, (self appreciation & reflect on good qualities),
accept and give compliments,
feeding yourself with positivity,
associate with supportive people,
list your past successes,
list & celebrate your qualities,
do good for others,
Find your passion
Be yourself
Another guy in another video defined confidence as "the ability to believe in yourself."
He also defined determination as "the ability to practice."
Our skillsets are based on our abilities. The more abilities and skills we have, the more self-assured a person is because they feel prepared. they feel secure in their abilities. The more secure they feel in their abilities, the more faith they will have in themselves.
There was a list of abilities I had somewhere... Well I listed the first two:
Confidence: The ability to believe in yourself.
Determination: The ability to practice.
Responsibility: The ability to respond. <-----this a="" ago="" and="" forgot.="" got="" i="" long="" nbsp="" never="" one="" p="" somewhere="" time="">
Emotional Intelligence is based on a set of abilities:
The Ability to identify, assess, and control emotions.
That's three abilities right there!
There is a list of qualities or skills that I found somewhere and I've been using some recently.
My research and investigating skills by gathering and processing information.
Observing (Reading),
Analysing (what I read),
Dissecting (picking it apart),
Developing hypotheses (thinking about what might work for me)
Framing questions (asking myself what direction I'm going and how I get there)
Using insight (reflecting on things that worked and what didn't, looking inward)
Diagnosing (what are the issues I'm facing, what can be done?)
Measuring (what do I need?)
Comparing (what can I do differently this time?)
Finding patterns (what are the old patterns that don't work? What are some new patterns that do work?)
Locating necessary resources (how can I best help myself?)
I'm using my information management skills by:
Cataloguing (the information I receive)
Translating (translating the information into thoughts)
Transcribing (writing the thoughts about the information)
Classifying (the importance of the information)
Recording (taking notes)
Calculating (the importance of the information)
Compiling (lists of systems)
Creating systems (creating a system based on the compiled systems)
I'm then going to be using my communication and persuasive skills:
Negotiation, (with my stubborn self)
bargaining (with gain and loss)
Persuading (reasoning)
Teaching (and learning)
Conveying information (through writing)
Listening (to what my body is telling myself)
Interviewing (asking questions)
Writing (taking notes, blogging etc.)
Talking (Self-talk)
Creative visual images (visualization)
Using symbols Representing others (my recovery chips)
Expressing ideas non-verbally (maybe join an art group)
I'm going to be using my administration and development skills:
Then, hopefully those skills will help me develop my self management skills:
All the skills I have to work on I highlighted in blue. So that will keep me busy for the rest of the year. At the very least. The more skills I work on the more abilities I will have. The more abilities I have, the more potential to succeed I'll have. The key being to use your abilities to the best of your ability.
So one thing at a time? The first one being: Framing Questions... Yes, lots of questions to ask myself... That is a good starting point. Then diagnosing my issues. Both good places to start.
The main questions being: Who am I and What do I Want?
In those there were tips on change and things like this. Overcoming depression was one of the topics I was researching tonight. Because I've felt pretty depressed lately, and angry. I'm angry that I'm depressed and depressed that I'm angry. But being either of those is a waste of energy. Being both of those at the same time is even more of a waste of energy. Energy that I could be using to change my thoughts or something else.
To visualize is one of the tips from the videos. As well as the self-talk thing. I found the second book to the first book I'm reading, about choices. It's called What to Say When You're Talking to Yourself. Positive programming. The third thing was setting and reaching mini goals. The fourth was breathing.
The guy had at least 6 different videos. All with different tips. It all boiled down to being aware and changing your thoughts. I talked about this stuff in counselling. Actions and thoughts are the aspects that I can control. I can't control the results, the situation that arises from the results, or the feelings that arise from the situation. I can only change the thoughts that arise from my feelings. If I can control my thoughts, I can control the actions that arise from my thoughts.
The rate of thoughts is very fast. 300 - 1,000 thoughts per minute. Most of which we are unaware. They are automatic thoughts that come up whenever we feel a certain emotion. Just as emotions are often connected, so are thoughts. A string of automatic thoughts because they are most likely attached to each other.
Our thoughts affect our experience of life.
We have core needs like needing:
Safety,
comfort,
predictability,
to feel competent,
feel contributory,
feel worth and importance,
and significance
The inner critic we have inside us is where we get the self-doubt and the negativity. But often we use the self critic as a motivator to meet our needs. When we do this, we lose self-esteem etc.
The guy advised to:
Talk back to your inner critic,
Affirm yourself,
Think of better ways to meet your needs with healthy thinking.
He said: To gain confidence:
Stop comparing yourself to others,
keep your thoughts positive, (self appreciation & reflect on good qualities),
accept and give compliments,
feeding yourself with positivity,
associate with supportive people,
list your past successes,
list & celebrate your qualities,
do good for others,
Find your passion
Be yourself
Another guy in another video defined confidence as "the ability to believe in yourself."
He also defined determination as "the ability to practice."
Our skillsets are based on our abilities. The more abilities and skills we have, the more self-assured a person is because they feel prepared. they feel secure in their abilities. The more secure they feel in their abilities, the more faith they will have in themselves.
There was a list of abilities I had somewhere... Well I listed the first two:
Confidence: The ability to believe in yourself.
Determination: The ability to practice.
Responsibility: The ability to respond. <-----this a="" ago="" and="" forgot.="" got="" i="" long="" nbsp="" never="" one="" p="" somewhere="" time="">
Emotional Intelligence is based on a set of abilities:
The Ability to identify, assess, and control emotions.
That's three abilities right there!
There is a list of qualities or skills that I found somewhere and I've been using some recently.
My research and investigating skills by gathering and processing information.
Observing (Reading),
Analysing (what I read),
Dissecting (picking it apart),
Developing hypotheses (thinking about what might work for me)
Framing questions (asking myself what direction I'm going and how I get there)
Using insight (reflecting on things that worked and what didn't, looking inward)
Diagnosing (what are the issues I'm facing, what can be done?)
Measuring (what do I need?)
Comparing (what can I do differently this time?)
Finding patterns (what are the old patterns that don't work? What are some new patterns that do work?)
Locating necessary resources (how can I best help myself?)
I'm using my information management skills by:
Cataloguing (the information I receive)
Translating (translating the information into thoughts)
Transcribing (writing the thoughts about the information)
Classifying (the importance of the information)
Recording (taking notes)
Calculating (the importance of the information)
Compiling (lists of systems)
Creating systems (creating a system based on the compiled systems)
I'm then going to be using my communication and persuasive skills:
Negotiation, (with my stubborn self)
bargaining (with gain and loss)
Persuading (reasoning)
Teaching (and learning)
Conveying information (through writing)
Listening (to what my body is telling myself)
Interviewing (asking questions)
Writing (taking notes, blogging etc.)
Talking (Self-talk)
Creative visual images (visualization)
Using symbols Representing others (my recovery chips)
Expressing ideas non-verbally (maybe join an art group)
Editing (looking back on what I write)
Memorising (trying to remember what I learn)
Expressing feelings (in better ways and constructive ways)
In my groups I'm using my human services and relations skills:
Offering support/help (supporting myself and others)
Recognising needs (recognizing my needs and the needs of others)
Developing rapport (making friends)
Encouraging others (offering the encouragement I'd want from someone else)
Caring (trying to show others I care)
Empathising (trying to understand what they are going through)
Establishing relationships (building friendships)
Raising others self-esteem (building my self esteem first)
Understanding group dynamics (new to this group I'm in)
Sensitive to feelings (everyone has feelings to be respected)
Sharing (sharing my experiences and what I'm learning)
Accepting others (the way they are)
Guiding (looking for and accepting guidance)
Counselling (keep going for counselling)
I'm going to be using my administration and development skills:
Allocating scarce resources (making the most of my resources and have at least one for each day)
Delegating responsibility (it's my own responsibility to make changes, in myself, for myself)
Co-ordinating (scheduling)
Selecting courses of action (making choices and making plans)
Inspiring others (tell other people what my plans are when they are made)
Enlisting the help of others (asking for help when I need it)
Supervising (staying focused on the plans)
Following plans (following through)
Organising (getting and being ready)
Finding short cuts (looking for easier ways of doing things)
Improvising (making the best of what I've got)
Accepting responsibility (for my successes as well as failures)
Making decisions (making the choices that support my plans)
Setting/meeting deadlines (for short term or long term plans)
I'll be using my design and planning skills:
Conceptualising (using the concepts I am learning)
Imagining alternatives (looking at the opposites, the positives to the negatives)
Adapting (making small changes that support my plans)
Dreaming (about what success would be like)
Inventing (reinventing myself)
Formulating/using principles (building new beliefs based on new principles)
Estimating needs (what do I think I need?)
Perceiving needs (what do I actually need?)
Foresight (try to think about what actions create certain results)
Visualising ideas, sketching (building the programs based on the systems)
Creating new techniques (attempts at implementing the new programs)
Forecasting ( predicting what might work?)
Setting goals (small goals inside of bigger goals)
Composing (gaining composure)
Developing programs (based on the systems)
Developing action plans (based on the programs)
Then, hopefully those skills will help me develop my self management skills:
Ability to choose (reading "Choices")
Ability to make decisions (based on the choices)
Alertness (becoming aware)
Assertiveness (asserting myself)
Attention to details (observance)
Calmness (learning to relax)
Candidness (honesty and openness)
Commitment to grow (motivation)
Concentration (focus)
Courage (willingness to take risks)
Adventurous (willingness to try new things)
Curiosity (desire to learn something new)
Dependability (gaining independence)
Diplomacy (learning to be diplomatic)
Emotional stability (emotional stability and maturity)
Empathy (understanding)
Energetic (focusing energy in positive ways, enthusiasm )
Good judgement (using my choices to make better choices)
Honesty (accepting reality)
Initiative (self motivation)
Loyalty (not giving up on myself)
Open minded (trying to be optimistic)
Patience ( being persistent yet being prepared for unexpected disappointments)
Performing well under stress ( keep trying to move forward despite negative effects of setbacks)
Pose (having self confidence)
Self-discipline, (being self-reliant)
Reliable (being as resourceful as possible)
Versatility (willing and able to keep changing)
All the skills I have to work on I highlighted in blue. So that will keep me busy for the rest of the year. At the very least. The more skills I work on the more abilities I will have. The more abilities I have, the more potential to succeed I'll have. The key being to use your abilities to the best of your ability.
So one thing at a time? The first one being: Framing Questions... Yes, lots of questions to ask myself... That is a good starting point. Then diagnosing my issues. Both good places to start.
The main questions being: Who am I and What do I Want?
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