The more I get out and do things, the faster time goes. When you're doing nothing and just watching the clock, it goes by slower. Well, it does to me.
The last 10 years has flown by. I don't know what happened to that.
This is why we have to make the most of the time we have. It runs out. Slowly. So slowly that we are aware of it yet forget it's happening. All at the same time.
So last night I went to the wellness centre for a presentation called: "How to break out of your comfort zone." There were some examples she used about herself. She was once a quadriplegic and kept forcing herself to do the intense therapy. Now she can walk again. She is living proof of what the human spirit can do. Now she does these presentations and consultations. I'm going in for a free consultation at the end of the month. I can't say I'll be able to go to the therapy lessons because I doubt I could afford them. But at least I can get information from her about them.
She is a chiropractor and therapist. So I think some of that therapy will be chiropractic. I know I've been cracking my own neck for some time now. Many years. It is one of the worst of the bad habits I have. I am scared to get my neck fixed because of the damage I already caused to it myself and because it is fragile and extremely important because it is part of your nervous system.
Everything that we want is outside our comfort zones. And the feeling that you get when you leave your comfort zone - discomfort is only distracting you from leaving it and making you go back in it. If you force yourself to face the discomfort more and more each day, the wider your comfort zone will expand because what felt uncomfortable before will become comfortable as you gradually get used to it.
I was thinking about the fact that I like to drink because it helps me feel comfortable. Especially in social situations. I hate feeling so anxious all the time and the only thing that helps that feeling go away is alcohol. I hate that it costs so much money when you go out to drink. Not that I do this all the time. But I have more than a few times this month. I still don't get drunk, I just make that awkward feeling go away. I hate feeling awkward. I hate it so much. I hate feeling vulnerable, too. I hate that very much. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's outside my comfort zone. What I was taught to think are bad things, people are starting to tell me are good things.
Being selfish... I was taught it was bad and wrong to have desires, needs, wants, dreams. I was taught not to want anything much for myself. And that doing what was easier was better because it's easier therefore it's better... I dunno, but this is not what the world is about. Doing what was easy was comfortable and it's uncomfortable to do things (the right things) that are harder because of the possibility for failure. It is a possibility, but the more effort is put into it the more success will come out of it. Even if the achievement seems to be a small one... It is an achievement nonetheless.
Anyway, with the whole thing with the selfishness thing I was going for is... I was talking to my counsellor about assertiveness and the formula he gave me is: 1) State your feelings with an 'I' message... 2) State the facts, 3) State what you want.
I don't know why it's so damn hard for me to be assertive... Maybe because assertiveness is outside my comfort zone. I created most of my own problems because I was comfortable dealing with everything the wrong ways. So by doing that and staying there I made the problems I have even worse than they were and had I started being more assertive a long time ago, those problems would have been overcome a long time ago. It's just I associate assertiveness with selfishness and I put them in the 'wrong' or 'undesired' category. I am trying to put myself out there more by going to these meetups and things like that.
Back to vulnerability... I think that is what makes me feel so awkward and I hate that feeling.
Anyway, I want to continue blogging, but I have been reminded by an anxious friend that I still need to finish the gloves I'm making him. I've been busy. It's always when I'm busy that my friends want something from me, my time... When I have been doing nothing and wanting someone to ask me to go hang out with them... They are too busy... It's because I'm feeling better that they want to be around me. When I needed them to lighten the moods I was in they just could not be bothered.
The last 10 years has flown by. I don't know what happened to that.
This is why we have to make the most of the time we have. It runs out. Slowly. So slowly that we are aware of it yet forget it's happening. All at the same time.
So last night I went to the wellness centre for a presentation called: "How to break out of your comfort zone." There were some examples she used about herself. She was once a quadriplegic and kept forcing herself to do the intense therapy. Now she can walk again. She is living proof of what the human spirit can do. Now she does these presentations and consultations. I'm going in for a free consultation at the end of the month. I can't say I'll be able to go to the therapy lessons because I doubt I could afford them. But at least I can get information from her about them.
She is a chiropractor and therapist. So I think some of that therapy will be chiropractic. I know I've been cracking my own neck for some time now. Many years. It is one of the worst of the bad habits I have. I am scared to get my neck fixed because of the damage I already caused to it myself and because it is fragile and extremely important because it is part of your nervous system.
Everything that we want is outside our comfort zones. And the feeling that you get when you leave your comfort zone - discomfort is only distracting you from leaving it and making you go back in it. If you force yourself to face the discomfort more and more each day, the wider your comfort zone will expand because what felt uncomfortable before will become comfortable as you gradually get used to it.
I was thinking about the fact that I like to drink because it helps me feel comfortable. Especially in social situations. I hate feeling so anxious all the time and the only thing that helps that feeling go away is alcohol. I hate that it costs so much money when you go out to drink. Not that I do this all the time. But I have more than a few times this month. I still don't get drunk, I just make that awkward feeling go away. I hate feeling awkward. I hate it so much. I hate feeling vulnerable, too. I hate that very much. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's outside my comfort zone. What I was taught to think are bad things, people are starting to tell me are good things.
Being selfish... I was taught it was bad and wrong to have desires, needs, wants, dreams. I was taught not to want anything much for myself. And that doing what was easier was better because it's easier therefore it's better... I dunno, but this is not what the world is about. Doing what was easy was comfortable and it's uncomfortable to do things (the right things) that are harder because of the possibility for failure. It is a possibility, but the more effort is put into it the more success will come out of it. Even if the achievement seems to be a small one... It is an achievement nonetheless.
Anyway, with the whole thing with the selfishness thing I was going for is... I was talking to my counsellor about assertiveness and the formula he gave me is: 1) State your feelings with an 'I' message... 2) State the facts, 3) State what you want.
I don't know why it's so damn hard for me to be assertive... Maybe because assertiveness is outside my comfort zone. I created most of my own problems because I was comfortable dealing with everything the wrong ways. So by doing that and staying there I made the problems I have even worse than they were and had I started being more assertive a long time ago, those problems would have been overcome a long time ago. It's just I associate assertiveness with selfishness and I put them in the 'wrong' or 'undesired' category. I am trying to put myself out there more by going to these meetups and things like that.
Back to vulnerability... I think that is what makes me feel so awkward and I hate that feeling.
Anyway, I want to continue blogging, but I have been reminded by an anxious friend that I still need to finish the gloves I'm making him. I've been busy. It's always when I'm busy that my friends want something from me, my time... When I have been doing nothing and wanting someone to ask me to go hang out with them... They are too busy... It's because I'm feeling better that they want to be around me. When I needed them to lighten the moods I was in they just could not be bothered.
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