I'm surprised tonight. Checking my stats the last day or two from my blog here... A lot of the time people could care less (I'm sure) about what I write here... Just that when I write something extremely personal, I get a lot of hits... Sure everyone has a past... Everyone... I try not to let it define me anymore... ANYMORE being the 'key' word. Because my past is in the past. I connect it, from time to time, with things that are going on in my life these days. If they are connected...
I got the most hits on one post I wrote recently than I have on any post I wrote in as many years as I had this blog. My reaction was 'you gotta be kidding me!' That one post gets over 50 views and all the others get 1-5? makes no sense... Maybe people are more interested in hearing the 'dirt' on me than anything else I have to say. Maybe they finally realize that I'm keeping so much more of myself 'hidden'.
Want to know the truth? Maybe it is too much for all of you to handle... Maybe I have had a messed up existence here. Maybe my existence isn't as messed up as it could have been... We all have a past. It just seems the more I write about my past... The more hits I get. Maybe the more I write about what is real in my life, the more real you realize I am.
I'll say this much tonight: You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. When I was about 5, my family moved to a 'ghetto'. I'm not talking about a 'ghetto' like the ones in the U.S. Those are worse than Canadian 'ghettos'. More guns, more drugs, more violence. Candian 'ghettos' are like wannabe 'ghettos' compared to U.S 'ghettos'. Honestly, sincerely. Toronto is a wannabe New York. I'll tell you what I mean... The deaths from shootings in 2012 is 24, injuries + deaths = 119... In Toronto. But in New York, there were 206. Which was the lowest since 1960s. 'A historic low' for New York. Toronto is the New York of Canada. Let's compare that to Ottawa (where I live) shall we? The website I found says 10. For 2012. So I guess Ottawa is only 10% f*cked up compared to Toronto... I wouldn't want to live in Toronto. A wannabe Gangster city. If you check the stats for Ottawa, the 9th homicide that year was at the very building I live in... Not that I want to give where I live away... I never know who could be reading my blog...
So yeah, these ghettos are more about drugs than they are about guns. I guess if you got a joint to smoke you're less likely to go shoot someone. Not that Ottawa is about the guns... I'm sure there are guns in the ghettos... But they are less likely to use them. I used to live in Heatherington. The ghettos close to here are Ramsey, Penny, and Richie. Anyone who has lived there has messed up stories to tell. I live in what they call 'Bayshore'. Sometimes messed up sh*t happen here, but it's more likely to happen in the other areas I mentioned.
Years from now, maybe people will be telling my secrets... But I doubt that because anyone who knows my secrets are already dead. Unless they read stuff I 'spilled' on here. It's like spilling a beer. Hahaha. Secrets only come out if you've had a sufficient amount to drink. But sometimes I think that if one has had a sufficient amount to drink, they would not be coherent enough to type.... But that is just me. Maybe I am 'comfortably numb' tonight... Sometimes not numb enough to be... satisfied. Only when I am asleep. As strange as that sounds. As strange as the truth can often be. My fingers are just dancing on the keyboard like that game.... Dance, Dance Revolution. Hahahahaha.
So yeah, the moral of this post is sometimes the truth can be crazy, sometimes it comes out. I have noticed that the more it comes out, the more people want to know it. It depends on how illicit it is... I tell something juicy, the more hits I get. If I just post a general blog post telling what I'm up to these days... Blah... I get some hits. Maybe. It's not about the hits or I would have given up on this blog a long time ago. I have met some interesting people just because of this blog... It's not about meeting people, either. It's just about having something to do. My life is kind of empty in the last couple of years. I need to write, just to say I'm 'living' even though it feels more like an existence than a life.
I got the most hits on one post I wrote recently than I have on any post I wrote in as many years as I had this blog. My reaction was 'you gotta be kidding me!' That one post gets over 50 views and all the others get 1-5? makes no sense... Maybe people are more interested in hearing the 'dirt' on me than anything else I have to say. Maybe they finally realize that I'm keeping so much more of myself 'hidden'.
Want to know the truth? Maybe it is too much for all of you to handle... Maybe I have had a messed up existence here. Maybe my existence isn't as messed up as it could have been... We all have a past. It just seems the more I write about my past... The more hits I get. Maybe the more I write about what is real in my life, the more real you realize I am.
I'll say this much tonight: You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. When I was about 5, my family moved to a 'ghetto'. I'm not talking about a 'ghetto' like the ones in the U.S. Those are worse than Canadian 'ghettos'. More guns, more drugs, more violence. Candian 'ghettos' are like wannabe 'ghettos' compared to U.S 'ghettos'. Honestly, sincerely. Toronto is a wannabe New York. I'll tell you what I mean... The deaths from shootings in 2012 is 24, injuries + deaths = 119... In Toronto. But in New York, there were 206. Which was the lowest since 1960s. 'A historic low' for New York. Toronto is the New York of Canada. Let's compare that to Ottawa (where I live) shall we? The website I found says 10. For 2012. So I guess Ottawa is only 10% f*cked up compared to Toronto... I wouldn't want to live in Toronto. A wannabe Gangster city. If you check the stats for Ottawa, the 9th homicide that year was at the very building I live in... Not that I want to give where I live away... I never know who could be reading my blog...
So yeah, these ghettos are more about drugs than they are about guns. I guess if you got a joint to smoke you're less likely to go shoot someone. Not that Ottawa is about the guns... I'm sure there are guns in the ghettos... But they are less likely to use them. I used to live in Heatherington. The ghettos close to here are Ramsey, Penny, and Richie. Anyone who has lived there has messed up stories to tell. I live in what they call 'Bayshore'. Sometimes messed up sh*t happen here, but it's more likely to happen in the other areas I mentioned.
Years from now, maybe people will be telling my secrets... But I doubt that because anyone who knows my secrets are already dead. Unless they read stuff I 'spilled' on here. It's like spilling a beer. Hahaha. Secrets only come out if you've had a sufficient amount to drink. But sometimes I think that if one has had a sufficient amount to drink, they would not be coherent enough to type.... But that is just me. Maybe I am 'comfortably numb' tonight... Sometimes not numb enough to be... satisfied. Only when I am asleep. As strange as that sounds. As strange as the truth can often be. My fingers are just dancing on the keyboard like that game.... Dance, Dance Revolution. Hahahahaha.
So yeah, the moral of this post is sometimes the truth can be crazy, sometimes it comes out. I have noticed that the more it comes out, the more people want to know it. It depends on how illicit it is... I tell something juicy, the more hits I get. If I just post a general blog post telling what I'm up to these days... Blah... I get some hits. Maybe. It's not about the hits or I would have given up on this blog a long time ago. I have met some interesting people just because of this blog... It's not about meeting people, either. It's just about having something to do. My life is kind of empty in the last couple of years. I need to write, just to say I'm 'living' even though it feels more like an existence than a life.
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