I came across a website a long time ago called Think TQ and I was checking it out last night. I was doing some test they have. According to this test, I'm only using 5% of my potential. Which is pretty low. Even for me. Someone who (according to my previous counselor) can't amount to much of anything. Yes, he said that. If he thinks I'm making another appointment with him, he's crazy! These types of things happen when I try to reach out for 'help'. Therefore I don't ask for help very often. Very reluctant to ask for help.
Anyway this website I was talking about.... It has a section where I can write down my goals and things. So I gave myself 10 goals. I'll see if I can achieve them in a timely fashion. I keep thinking I ought to buy myself a watch so that I can better manage my time. Something with an alarm on it.
I need to sleep after my night shift, but as tired as I am, I cannot sleep yet. My body does not seem to want to let me! I almost feel sick from lack of sleep. I ache all over! When sleep finally comes, it will be sweet and much welcomed. Yet I have things to do... I keep thinking of these things that need to be done and I keep thinking I'd rather be productive than sleep. The truth is that I'd be even more productive after having slept! My cat doesn't seem to be having any trouble sleeping! *envy* I was feeling sick before I left for work last night. Was a good shift though. I like the lady I work with. She's super nice, and funny. We talk about so much! Which is nice. It is nice to have someone to talk to and it's nice that she listens.
Not sure why I have been writing here almost every day, it seems. Maybe since it had been a while and getting it all out before I have another phase where I stop writing for a while. It's good to contemplate things out loud sometimes. Even if it's just writing about it. I wonder if people will refer to my writings after I am dead. I think about that sometimes. I don't know why I think about it, just do.
Kinda wish they'd stop tearing up the places around here! Not sure what they are doing on the first floor, but they got the ceilings all taken out in the hallway. They were drilling in the parking lot, now they are tearing up the pavement in the parking lot. They gave everyone new balcony doors and living room windows and new light fixtures. Are they hoping that this will justify raising the rent? Seems like they raise it every year anyway. One of these years they'll raise it too high and have less renters than previous years. There was a lady who I thought had moved in across the hall from me, but I haven't seen her or heard her. I think she moved out again. She probably heard about that deadly fire we had last year and didn't like the stigma attached to this building. I think a lot of people ended up moving out because of that fire. I can't say I blame them. People want a safe place to live. Away from the crazies. Which it seems my building has a lot of.
The lady at work asked me to make her daughters each a hat. I've already started on the first one. Pink. The other one I'm supposed to make is purple. I like making things. It'll give me something to do. I should be working on my brother's birthday present, but I don't think it'll be finished for his birthday. Which is okay because he totally forgot mine! Would have saying 'happy birthday' to his sister have killed him? I won't be impressed if he forgets again next year! I'll be 30 next year... Kinda scary. Not looking forward to it.
My Grandmother's sister is going to turn 100 years old this year.... It's hard to imagine living to be 100 years old! Look at all the technology we've discovered over the last century! It's crazy! I don't even think they had televisions yet when she was my age. She is one of two of her sisters who never got married. They live together and the younger one takes care of the older one. There are 4 sisters remaining from the 15 kids my Great Grandfather had. He was married twice, but still fathered 15 kids. My favorite number is 15. But I can't see myself having 15 kids... Back then, it didn't cost so much to raise just one kid... I have my hands full with my son these days... I know it is the hormones kicking in that he is starting to act up like this. His body is changing and so are his emotions. It's hard for some adults to control their emotions, let alone a kid! The only thing I could do was take him back home immediately and send him to his room for the better part of an hour. Then we had a talk.
I ask him: "Are you ready to talk yet?" If he is, then we talk. If not, it means he needs to do more thinking until he's ready to talk. Then we have a talk about it. I ask him questions and get him to learn from the answers he himself gives. This way, I'm not coaxing him to say anything except for what he thinks. This way, at least I know that he has given it some thought. I've always done this with him since he was little. Since he started being able to think for himself. Ask him questions like: "Was that a good thing to do, or was it bad?" and "What did you do that was bad?" So he can admit his own actions. "What do you think you want to do next time instead of what you did this time?" You can learn so much from your kids if you just talk to them and ask them what they think! They learn to make their own choices and face the consequences of the actions they actually admit to taking! My son was such a good boy, usually is. He's harbored some rage when he went to go live with his father. Anger towards me. I know that. But as angry as he is sometimes, he's gotta learn that he has to respect BOTH his parents. Regardless which parent he is living with!
Anyway this website I was talking about.... It has a section where I can write down my goals and things. So I gave myself 10 goals. I'll see if I can achieve them in a timely fashion. I keep thinking I ought to buy myself a watch so that I can better manage my time. Something with an alarm on it.
I need to sleep after my night shift, but as tired as I am, I cannot sleep yet. My body does not seem to want to let me! I almost feel sick from lack of sleep. I ache all over! When sleep finally comes, it will be sweet and much welcomed. Yet I have things to do... I keep thinking of these things that need to be done and I keep thinking I'd rather be productive than sleep. The truth is that I'd be even more productive after having slept! My cat doesn't seem to be having any trouble sleeping! *envy* I was feeling sick before I left for work last night. Was a good shift though. I like the lady I work with. She's super nice, and funny. We talk about so much! Which is nice. It is nice to have someone to talk to and it's nice that she listens.
Not sure why I have been writing here almost every day, it seems. Maybe since it had been a while and getting it all out before I have another phase where I stop writing for a while. It's good to contemplate things out loud sometimes. Even if it's just writing about it. I wonder if people will refer to my writings after I am dead. I think about that sometimes. I don't know why I think about it, just do.
Kinda wish they'd stop tearing up the places around here! Not sure what they are doing on the first floor, but they got the ceilings all taken out in the hallway. They were drilling in the parking lot, now they are tearing up the pavement in the parking lot. They gave everyone new balcony doors and living room windows and new light fixtures. Are they hoping that this will justify raising the rent? Seems like they raise it every year anyway. One of these years they'll raise it too high and have less renters than previous years. There was a lady who I thought had moved in across the hall from me, but I haven't seen her or heard her. I think she moved out again. She probably heard about that deadly fire we had last year and didn't like the stigma attached to this building. I think a lot of people ended up moving out because of that fire. I can't say I blame them. People want a safe place to live. Away from the crazies. Which it seems my building has a lot of.
The lady at work asked me to make her daughters each a hat. I've already started on the first one. Pink. The other one I'm supposed to make is purple. I like making things. It'll give me something to do. I should be working on my brother's birthday present, but I don't think it'll be finished for his birthday. Which is okay because he totally forgot mine! Would have saying 'happy birthday' to his sister have killed him? I won't be impressed if he forgets again next year! I'll be 30 next year... Kinda scary. Not looking forward to it.
My Grandmother's sister is going to turn 100 years old this year.... It's hard to imagine living to be 100 years old! Look at all the technology we've discovered over the last century! It's crazy! I don't even think they had televisions yet when she was my age. She is one of two of her sisters who never got married. They live together and the younger one takes care of the older one. There are 4 sisters remaining from the 15 kids my Great Grandfather had. He was married twice, but still fathered 15 kids. My favorite number is 15. But I can't see myself having 15 kids... Back then, it didn't cost so much to raise just one kid... I have my hands full with my son these days... I know it is the hormones kicking in that he is starting to act up like this. His body is changing and so are his emotions. It's hard for some adults to control their emotions, let alone a kid! The only thing I could do was take him back home immediately and send him to his room for the better part of an hour. Then we had a talk.
I ask him: "Are you ready to talk yet?" If he is, then we talk. If not, it means he needs to do more thinking until he's ready to talk. Then we have a talk about it. I ask him questions and get him to learn from the answers he himself gives. This way, I'm not coaxing him to say anything except for what he thinks. This way, at least I know that he has given it some thought. I've always done this with him since he was little. Since he started being able to think for himself. Ask him questions like: "Was that a good thing to do, or was it bad?" and "What did you do that was bad?" So he can admit his own actions. "What do you think you want to do next time instead of what you did this time?" You can learn so much from your kids if you just talk to them and ask them what they think! They learn to make their own choices and face the consequences of the actions they actually admit to taking! My son was such a good boy, usually is. He's harbored some rage when he went to go live with his father. Anger towards me. I know that. But as angry as he is sometimes, he's gotta learn that he has to respect BOTH his parents. Regardless which parent he is living with!
3 comments:
Think TQ sounds suspicious. I dunno if I'd put too much value on that number. Anyway I hope you get some sleep.
Thanks, Sean. I dunno about the 'sleep' thing. Been waking up in the middle of the night. Constantly. Round 4:00 am, then staying awake for the rest of the night. Only to feel like I need sleep during the next day...
I know the feeling. I don't sleep very well these days either. I wake up between 2 and 4. But usually I'll eat something and go back to sleep. For me, I think it's the time of year or it could be my activity levels being too high too late in the evening. Either way it sucks. At least I can get back to sleep but I still feel like crap the next day
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