Do you ever get that feeling that the things that are brought to your attention are the things that are meant to be brought to your attention? I do. The Psychology textbook I found last Wednesday.... It's the one I bought when I was in college. Probably not the exact one, but it's the same edition. Also, it came with a CD Rom, which is in the book I found on Wednesday. The previous owner never opened it. Which is even more rare.
Like usual, I've been thinking, A LOT! I do believe things happen for a reason. (When I was writing the last paragraph about the textbook, I remembered a class we had an open book exam for. Someone in the class left their textbook on the table and stepped out of the room. When they returned, their book had been taken. They told the teacher someone took it and the teacher was reluctant to start the exam until the book was returned, but nobody would admit to taking it and she had no choice but to start it without the book being returned.) I don't know what made me think of that, but there must have been a reason that memory popped into my head. A good reason to write your name in the inside cover of the book so you can easily identify your book.
I was thinking about how Capricorns seem to have a lot of self-doubt. I was thinking this even before I got an email in my inbox about 'Managing and Changing Self-Doubt'. It leads me to interpret it as a form of lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. The article says that there are 3 C's to help us manage and change those feelings of self-doubt.
Compartmentalizing the area that brings about the feelings of self-doubt to help 'minimize it'. Allowing us to be realistic about it being a specific area of our life.
Challenging ourselves by asking ourselves how true or valid these thoughts or feelings are by looking for evidence for and against it.
Changing your thoughts and therefore creating a new interpretation of the event that gave rise to the feelings and thoughts of self-doubt. By changing the perspective of the event, it can reduce the intensity of the feeling.
The article is from a life coaching blog I subscribed to and sometimes get emails from. I don't have a life coach, although I'd be willing to give it a try. As it is now, I'm reluctant to even try counselling again. Especially after the defeating purpose it had last time. I guess the purpose was that I need to see that I have to do a lot of this on my own and that I shouldn't be trusting people who just don't understand me at all. Most of the time I feel like people are not even listening to me anyway. Which makes trying to go to counselling so much harder. When I went the last time, last week, the guy was reading his notes back to me.I had told him about finding out that my Uncle had died. He had it written down as I had recently found out my Father had died. I think there is a difference in the words Uncle and Father, don't you? It just kind of made me mad that he didn't seem to care to get the information right and he made assumptions instead. Then he chastised ME for making assumptions about the counselling itself. By assuming I was making assumptions. Lately, when I even see the guy's name come up anywhere, I get angry. Angry about him chastising me. Especially after I had told him that people seem to treat me differently than they would treat other people! That is a prime example. Would he have chastised me if I had been anyone else? Any of his other clients? Or would he have kept his mask on and kept pretending to be 'empathetic' like priests/ministers are supposed to be?
One of my friends told me that certain things only seem to happen to me, that people treat me with such disrespect that it's seemingly unbelievable. Only it has to be believed because it actually happens! I call it the WTF factor that keeps factoring itself into interactions I have with people who seem to have a certain amount of power over others, because they are in a higher position, even a position of authority. As a culmination of these events one might say: "No wonder you feel that way about yourself!" After all the times people have told me that I'll never amount to anything. Maybe instead of me wasting THEIR time, THEY are the ones wasting MY time! But people who chastise other people never realize this. They don't even realize they are doing any chastising. When I don't know how to respond, chances are that I don't respond. Then they think they were right all along. They can think whatever they want, assume whatever they want, doesn't make them right! I was going for help, not to be chastised, criticized, or judged. When you point your finger and blame someone, at least 7 fingers are pointing right back at you! The judgement is worse on those who judge others. Because the person they are judging gets to judge them back for judging them.
Anyway, that's probably not the last you'll hear about that... Since it'll be on my mind for quite a while. And every time I even see the guy's name, I seethe inside. I seethe inside about a lot of things I should have been able to let go of a long time ago. I know that holding onto these things is holding myself back. I know this and yet I don't even know how to even begin to start letting it all go. Granted, there are some things from the past that I never let go of that affect me less than they did before. I guess that goes with what the article says about the reduced intensity.... I can choose to look at things differently. I can choose to see a lot of delusional disillusioned people confronting their own disillusions or illusions and not necessarily confronting me. It is directed at me, but it's not ABOUT me. At least I know better than to treat people like that. If other people knew how it felt to be treated the way they treat me on an on-going basis, maybe they would treat me the way they treat others... Just a thought.
Anyway, onto the next thing I wanted to talk about.... Motivation and Emotion.... It's in chapter 9 of my psychology book. Emotion is just a 'state' of feeling. (I also heard it being described, from another source, as 'energy in motion'.) It affects the physiological, cognitive appraisal, and outward expression of the 'feeling'.
Motivation: (According to Atkinson's theory) there are 4 things that affect someone's motivation.
a) how strong a person's need is to achieve
b) pride in achieving the goal opposed to how failure would be upsetting
c) the person's expectations of success
d) the financial reward attached to the goal
What I noticed in these 4 things are these words: NEED, PRIDE, EXPECTATION, REWARD. These are all egocentric. All evolving from and revolving around the ego. Everyone's got an ego, this is true. But why does one's ego have to be a central component to one's motivation? In a perfect world, people wouldn't operate like that. What does the ego even do for us? Does it make us feel good? Most of the time it is used to make others feel bad about themselves. The book says that motivation is 'the process that initiates, directs, and sustains behavior to satisfy physiological or psychological needs.' Maybe those psychological needs are instilled in us by our egos. If this is true, than these needs are not real. Just an illusion.
Reading the part in the book about the ego gets me thinking. In the book it says the ego is logical and rational. It is actually illogical and irrational. Its primary function is to satisfy 'urges' from the unconscious mind. What i mean is that the unconscious mind is where destructive impulses come from. Immediate gratification and impulsive selfishness. So the ego wants to satisfy this. If we gave into our ego all the time we would be self-destructive. If we let our ego motivate us... We'd be giving into impulses that are merely impulses! When we ask ourselves (after thinking about our actions) "Why did I do that?" or "What was I thinking when I did that?" or "What was I thinking when I said that?" or "Why did I say that?" It is because it was an impulse driven by our ego. If you ask me, I'd say the ego is our worst enemy. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? Well keep your positive attributes close and your negative attributes closer! Especially when it comes to introspection! I think that should be my next blog post.... Introspection v.s Retrospection.
Like usual, I've been thinking, A LOT! I do believe things happen for a reason. (When I was writing the last paragraph about the textbook, I remembered a class we had an open book exam for. Someone in the class left their textbook on the table and stepped out of the room. When they returned, their book had been taken. They told the teacher someone took it and the teacher was reluctant to start the exam until the book was returned, but nobody would admit to taking it and she had no choice but to start it without the book being returned.) I don't know what made me think of that, but there must have been a reason that memory popped into my head. A good reason to write your name in the inside cover of the book so you can easily identify your book.
I was thinking about how Capricorns seem to have a lot of self-doubt. I was thinking this even before I got an email in my inbox about 'Managing and Changing Self-Doubt'. It leads me to interpret it as a form of lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. The article says that there are 3 C's to help us manage and change those feelings of self-doubt.
Compartmentalizing the area that brings about the feelings of self-doubt to help 'minimize it'. Allowing us to be realistic about it being a specific area of our life.
Challenging ourselves by asking ourselves how true or valid these thoughts or feelings are by looking for evidence for and against it.
Changing your thoughts and therefore creating a new interpretation of the event that gave rise to the feelings and thoughts of self-doubt. By changing the perspective of the event, it can reduce the intensity of the feeling.
The article is from a life coaching blog I subscribed to and sometimes get emails from. I don't have a life coach, although I'd be willing to give it a try. As it is now, I'm reluctant to even try counselling again. Especially after the defeating purpose it had last time. I guess the purpose was that I need to see that I have to do a lot of this on my own and that I shouldn't be trusting people who just don't understand me at all. Most of the time I feel like people are not even listening to me anyway. Which makes trying to go to counselling so much harder. When I went the last time, last week, the guy was reading his notes back to me.I had told him about finding out that my Uncle had died. He had it written down as I had recently found out my Father had died. I think there is a difference in the words Uncle and Father, don't you? It just kind of made me mad that he didn't seem to care to get the information right and he made assumptions instead. Then he chastised ME for making assumptions about the counselling itself. By assuming I was making assumptions. Lately, when I even see the guy's name come up anywhere, I get angry. Angry about him chastising me. Especially after I had told him that people seem to treat me differently than they would treat other people! That is a prime example. Would he have chastised me if I had been anyone else? Any of his other clients? Or would he have kept his mask on and kept pretending to be 'empathetic' like priests/ministers are supposed to be?
One of my friends told me that certain things only seem to happen to me, that people treat me with such disrespect that it's seemingly unbelievable. Only it has to be believed because it actually happens! I call it the WTF factor that keeps factoring itself into interactions I have with people who seem to have a certain amount of power over others, because they are in a higher position, even a position of authority. As a culmination of these events one might say: "No wonder you feel that way about yourself!" After all the times people have told me that I'll never amount to anything. Maybe instead of me wasting THEIR time, THEY are the ones wasting MY time! But people who chastise other people never realize this. They don't even realize they are doing any chastising. When I don't know how to respond, chances are that I don't respond. Then they think they were right all along. They can think whatever they want, assume whatever they want, doesn't make them right! I was going for help, not to be chastised, criticized, or judged. When you point your finger and blame someone, at least 7 fingers are pointing right back at you! The judgement is worse on those who judge others. Because the person they are judging gets to judge them back for judging them.
Anyway, that's probably not the last you'll hear about that... Since it'll be on my mind for quite a while. And every time I even see the guy's name, I seethe inside. I seethe inside about a lot of things I should have been able to let go of a long time ago. I know that holding onto these things is holding myself back. I know this and yet I don't even know how to even begin to start letting it all go. Granted, there are some things from the past that I never let go of that affect me less than they did before. I guess that goes with what the article says about the reduced intensity.... I can choose to look at things differently. I can choose to see a lot of delusional disillusioned people confronting their own disillusions or illusions and not necessarily confronting me. It is directed at me, but it's not ABOUT me. At least I know better than to treat people like that. If other people knew how it felt to be treated the way they treat me on an on-going basis, maybe they would treat me the way they treat others... Just a thought.
Anyway, onto the next thing I wanted to talk about.... Motivation and Emotion.... It's in chapter 9 of my psychology book. Emotion is just a 'state' of feeling. (I also heard it being described, from another source, as 'energy in motion'.) It affects the physiological, cognitive appraisal, and outward expression of the 'feeling'.
Motivation: (According to Atkinson's theory) there are 4 things that affect someone's motivation.
a) how strong a person's need is to achieve
b) pride in achieving the goal opposed to how failure would be upsetting
c) the person's expectations of success
d) the financial reward attached to the goal
What I noticed in these 4 things are these words: NEED, PRIDE, EXPECTATION, REWARD. These are all egocentric. All evolving from and revolving around the ego. Everyone's got an ego, this is true. But why does one's ego have to be a central component to one's motivation? In a perfect world, people wouldn't operate like that. What does the ego even do for us? Does it make us feel good? Most of the time it is used to make others feel bad about themselves. The book says that motivation is 'the process that initiates, directs, and sustains behavior to satisfy physiological or psychological needs.' Maybe those psychological needs are instilled in us by our egos. If this is true, than these needs are not real. Just an illusion.
Reading the part in the book about the ego gets me thinking. In the book it says the ego is logical and rational. It is actually illogical and irrational. Its primary function is to satisfy 'urges' from the unconscious mind. What i mean is that the unconscious mind is where destructive impulses come from. Immediate gratification and impulsive selfishness. So the ego wants to satisfy this. If we gave into our ego all the time we would be self-destructive. If we let our ego motivate us... We'd be giving into impulses that are merely impulses! When we ask ourselves (after thinking about our actions) "Why did I do that?" or "What was I thinking when I did that?" or "What was I thinking when I said that?" or "Why did I say that?" It is because it was an impulse driven by our ego. If you ask me, I'd say the ego is our worst enemy. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? Well keep your positive attributes close and your negative attributes closer! Especially when it comes to introspection! I think that should be my next blog post.... Introspection v.s Retrospection.
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