Got lots on my mind. Stuff I can't really talk about. It just bothers me that I don't know what is going to happen next. I need to get my paper work in order. I need to get organized. It's all been falling by the wayside because I haven't been moving forward at all.
Saturday was my birthday. I got my computer fixed and was at a friend's place with a migraine most of the day. Then I came home and just stayed home. Drinking and chatting on wireclub. Been on there way too much lately. Been lonely I guess. But I need to stay away from it. There is nothing wrong with going on there once in a while, but it's been daily. I haven't anyone here to talk to. I need interaction.
So I'm 29 now and I just feel so stressed out with the things I've been putting off. It is catching up to me and I don't like it. I know that is why I shouldn't put things off in the first place, but it seems to happen. Work is okay, but the people keep asking me how I support myself and I don't feel like telling them that. They know it is a part time job and the only job I have. I guess they are curious, but it is still none of their business.
I really need to come up with a plan and soon. I need something that will keep me busy, but will provide me with something for the future. I don't want to do the job that I am doing forever. Deep down I know that I can do more than that and be something else.
I need lots of qualities if I am to succeed in life. I'm barely surviving right now and I hate it. I want to thrive, not just survive... Maybe it's egotistical to think like this, but the ego is what drives us sometimes to fulfill our needs. The ego designed the needs in the first place. I don't want to make more money only to have things that I don't need. I just want to be able to stock up on food and have a roof over my head. I don't need these gadgets. My son thinks I have lots of money, but I don't. It's almost been the same when he lived here with me. Pretty much broke most of the time. I need something stable so I can give him what he needs.
I'm worried all the time now and not sure what to do. All I know is that I have to do something. But knowing I have to do something isn't enough to complete whatever it is that I have to do. I need to know what it is I have to do and how to do it. All I know is time is running out.
Saturday was my birthday. I got my computer fixed and was at a friend's place with a migraine most of the day. Then I came home and just stayed home. Drinking and chatting on wireclub. Been on there way too much lately. Been lonely I guess. But I need to stay away from it. There is nothing wrong with going on there once in a while, but it's been daily. I haven't anyone here to talk to. I need interaction.
So I'm 29 now and I just feel so stressed out with the things I've been putting off. It is catching up to me and I don't like it. I know that is why I shouldn't put things off in the first place, but it seems to happen. Work is okay, but the people keep asking me how I support myself and I don't feel like telling them that. They know it is a part time job and the only job I have. I guess they are curious, but it is still none of their business.
I really need to come up with a plan and soon. I need something that will keep me busy, but will provide me with something for the future. I don't want to do the job that I am doing forever. Deep down I know that I can do more than that and be something else.
I need lots of qualities if I am to succeed in life. I'm barely surviving right now and I hate it. I want to thrive, not just survive... Maybe it's egotistical to think like this, but the ego is what drives us sometimes to fulfill our needs. The ego designed the needs in the first place. I don't want to make more money only to have things that I don't need. I just want to be able to stock up on food and have a roof over my head. I don't need these gadgets. My son thinks I have lots of money, but I don't. It's almost been the same when he lived here with me. Pretty much broke most of the time. I need something stable so I can give him what he needs.
I'm worried all the time now and not sure what to do. All I know is that I have to do something. But knowing I have to do something isn't enough to complete whatever it is that I have to do. I need to know what it is I have to do and how to do it. All I know is time is running out.
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