I'm Okay, I think...

Everyone goes through their share of sh*t in life. I've hit one of those snags that'll be over soon, I hope. My son has been living with his father recently and I'm supposed to be supervised. But I taken him on weekends. They don't know that I do. They can go f*ck themselves. I've had my son living with me since he was born and now they think I'm a danger to him?! I'm a danger to THEM if they want to mess with me. They even went as far as to stop me from picking my son up from school. I think it was the school's way of slighting me again and none of this would have happened if the school did something about the bullies that were attacking my son at school. He will be going to a new school next year so I won't have to deal with those idiots over there again! HA!

I've pretty much been going crazy... All alone and seemingly powerless to protect my rights as a parent. And to protect my son from THEM. They screwed me up for life and I'm not letting that happen to my son. I want him to have a normal life and it would be a lot more so with them not around and assuming all kinds of assinine things about someone they don't even know.

They came into my house and were trying to make me look bad. I think they were coaching my kid to say things when I wasn't in the room. Because they wanted to talk to him alone first. Then I really felt cornered the way she was talking to me. I really felt uncomfortable and I knew I was starting to get angry so I asked her to just leave. Instead of living, she says "No I'm not going to leave because your son will be in danger." That REALLY pissed me off. So the only thing I could think of to do was to call my son's father to come and take our son for the night. But she turns around and says he has to stay with his father and hasn't told me or him how long this is supposed to last. All of this has been bullshit right from the very beginning. I hate how people treat me that way and the fact that it affects my son just really pisses me off. To the point where I could burst. I know he's with his father, that is the only comfort in this. I would be livid if THEY took him.

I've been pretty angry this whole time. And I really want to just tear her eyes out if I ever see her again. That's one of the reasons I requested a new 'worker'. Because I could see myself wanting to rip her face off . Of course I'd never hurt my kid. I'm not a crack head or a meth addict or someone who injects heroin. I don't drink every day. I try to do as much with my son as I can. I take him to the Library on a regular basis, I encourage him when he wants to write something. I still read to him. I take him to see my Grandmother. She doesn't get to see her other Great-Grandchildren. I was just thinking the other day how weird it'll be in the future when my son has kids of his own and they have kids of their own. Sometimes in even wonder if I'll live that long.

I've also been pretty lonely and going crazy at home by myself. I've been talking to my cat more. I don't know what life would be like without her. It bothers me that I feel more comfortable writing about all the stuff I'm going through on here than I do telling it to my psychiatrist. I'm not sure if I can trust her and I get a vibe that says that I should start looking for someone who'll listen to me and not interrupt me, then when they are finished saying whatever they want to say, they send me out the door. How is that supposed to help? It just seems like nobody really cares what I'm going through and going through this difficult time on my own is hard, but it does make me stronger. That is if I don't give into temptation and just lose my mind.